child is ill but school are complaining.

[leilarose98]

my 13 y/o daughter has been off school since monday due to constant throwing up, full body aches, coughing, cold sweat and a headache. today is her third day off and she has a doctors appointment in the morning for something different, however i was going to bring this up in order for medical advice and treatment. however, her high school have just called and told me she must attend tomorrow regardless of her physical state or i will be fined immediately. her school has a history of not sending children home when they are ill, especially if their attendance is not great, meaning if she throws up in school (which i have no doubt will occur) she will not be sent home. i worry because she is constantly crying due to being in immense pain yet i am having to send her to school, among other students who could get ill too, and forcing her to do work while in this state will not help her- she cannot concentrate on almost anything and is always tired. a friend told me i should ring them back and ‘kick off’ but i highly doubt they will change their mind! advice?

You don't 'have' to send her in at all. If she is ill she stays off. You are her parent and only you get to make that decision.

Don't ring them back. She is ill then she is off. If she is better she goes in after her GP appointment.

They can't demand you bring a sick child in to school. The school might be flapping about their absence stats, but that's not your problem. They ate attempting to bully you. Ignore.
They also can't 'fine' you (in England). That would be down to the local education authority and is nothing to do with ill health.

What is her attendance like in general?

How utterly ridiculous

1. Your poor dd must feel dreadful and needs to be at home
2. If she goes in she will spread the sickness this could be very dangerous for anyone who is immunocompromised or has type 1 diabetes or is undergoing chemo etc

she has had the past 3 days off and two late marks due to doctors appointments

The school shouldn’t be reporting to the LA for a fine if under 15 days sickness I believe. And also fines this may be helpful- childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/school-attendance-and-absence/

I don't really understand what the issue is here. She's sick. She's a risk to others. You've deemed it necessary for her to stay home.

What the school think is their problem. What your daughter's sickness record is like is irrelevant.

DO NOT send your child to school. I'd be fucking livid if my kid caught this because you didn't step up.

have already had to cancel her doctors appointment because school demanded we go back later ):

That’s ridiculous and I’d be complaining to the head. Do not send her in, poor thing, sod their attendance stats and let her recuperate.

Why are you cancelling her drs appointment?! The school doesn’t get to decide she has to go in!

my thoughts exactly, when she find out she had to go in she began crying because she thought she was going to make her friends ill and she herself can’t even get up properly

If there is not more to this, I would just say 'no'. And not pay the fine. And I would fight it to the bitter end too, but not in a shouty way, in a calm and measured, 'she is ill and cannot attend school' way. If you're going to the docs all the better, they can reinforce your view.

Sorry, crossed posts with the update. Take her to the doctors if needed.

Urgh. I had this. Sometimes sent her in against my better judgment, and she was always sent home. But I still got letters and phone calls

If she's ill, she's ill. Don't send her in.

i’m trying to reschedule it to possible after school hours but it seems that there are none

I am confused
have already had to cancel her doctors appointment because school demanded we go back later ):

No way I am taking my ill child to school and cancelling a GP app

Is there more to this story? How did they "demand"

They can't make you bring a spewing child to school ffs.

i’m just worried about her school work and financial issues

the school threaten us with fining, detentions for my daughter and they often send senior staff out to students homes to check the child is actually ill and if they think they are fit to attend (which is almost always) they make them
go apparently

Just say no. She’s too sick and she will infect other children. Just no. Just let them try and fine you for your daughter being sick - good luck to them with that. They are endangering her and other children. My son often has to go to hospital if he gets a sickness bug. I’d be horrified if they were forcing vomiting kids to come in.

They are talking crap. She is ill and you, as her parent, are best placed to decide when she is fit to return. Tell them that, if the have a problem with this, they are welcome to ask the education welfare officer to contact you. As this would cost them money and they will have pupils with real attendance issues that require that more, they will probably just back off.

I bet this is the line they use on all parents and some will be scared enough to comply. That's not fair on anyone.

OP put your big girl pants on and tell them to forget it. And if they send any staff members round to check she really is ill don’t let them in. You need to stand up to them on her behalf.

i apologise if my reasoning and feelings towards this seem silly, it’s just a pressuring situation ahah

Yes, OP, firmly worded email stating that you dd is ill, she is vomiting and in pain, and you as her mother have taken the responsible decision to keep her off school until vomiting stops, at which point she will return to class. You are completely within your rights and you do not expect to discuss it again.

Oh god, is this a thing now? Being hounded by the school??? How horrible. Please send a firmly worded email and forget about them.