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Original poster

child is ill but school are complaining.

131 replies

leilarose98 · 21/11/2018 12:40

my 13 y/o daughter has been off school since monday due to constant throwing up, full body aches, coughing, cold sweat and a headache. today is her third day off and she has a doctors appointment in the morning for something different, however i was going to bring this up in order for medical advice and treatment. however, her high school have just called and told me she must attend tomorrow regardless of her physical state or i will be fined immediately. her school has a history of not sending children home when they are ill, especially if their attendance is not great, meaning if she throws up in school (which i have no doubt will occur) she will not be sent home. i worry because she is constantly crying due to being in immense pain yet i am having to send her to school, among other students who could get ill too, and forcing her to do work while in this state will not help her- she cannot concentrate on almost anything and is always tired. a friend told me i should ring them back and ‘kick off’ but i highly doubt they will change their mind! advice?Confused

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christmaschristmaschristmas · 21/11/2018 14:43

No bloody way would my child be going back this week. Vomiting Wednesday - 48 hours = Friday night, so she should go back Monday.

christmaschristmaschristmas · 21/11/2018 14:44

Also I am a little concerned that she has had a headache and has been vomiting for 72 hours. Get her checked out.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 21/11/2018 14:48

That's really not acceptable OP. You can't send a sick child in to school, especially one that will not send the sick child home if they vomit everywhere. Perhaps you could send one with a runny nose from a head cold in to school but a child that is still vomiting is not to be welcomed into school. That's utter madness.
It is cruel and unusual punishment for a sick person (i.e. one that is still vomiting and has shivers etc.) to be sent to school.

ivykaty44 · 21/11/2018 14:49

My dd went into school and threw up in maths - everywhere, then in the corridor and guess what they phoned me to collect her...

diddl · 21/11/2018 14:52

"partner wants to send her to school!"

If she has thrown up today then she won't be able to go, will she?

Also, at 13 your daughter must get a say!

blackcat86 · 21/11/2018 14:54

I would be asking the school how they plan to support her to do the following; maintain her privacy and dignity when vomiting, manager hydration due to vomiting, allow her adequate rest, maintain good infection control..you need to keep her off until 48 hours after the vomiting stops. Are any adults actually standing up for this poor child.. if they fine you then fight it, rebook the gp appontment urgently (She needs medical attention if she's been vomiting since Monday), ask to meet with the head and tell your DP not to be so bloody stupid.

fleshmarketclose · 21/11/2018 15:01

Why would you even consider that school can order you to send her in to school? They aren't the law and their wishes don't usurp yours or your child's needs.
Get your daughter medical attention, phone in first thing to record her as absent due to illness and refuse to engage if they call you back. Repeat as necessary "dd is ill and absent and will return when she is well enough to attend" After that put down the phone and ignore.As for dp tell him the same and refuse to get into any discussion.

FilledSoda · 21/11/2018 15:04

They are completely unreasonable, and wrong.
Is your dp her father ?

Darkbaptism · 21/11/2018 15:17

I had a meeting with my sons prospective new secondary school last week and ask if they had to stay off for 48 hours after a sickness bug - apparently not! I was really shocked and very unhappy as my son is immunosuppressed. Attendance figures are obviously more important to them.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/11/2018 15:52

Darkbaptism I gather it is not going to be that school.

PhilomenaButterfly · 21/11/2018 15:57

This is going round. DD 11 was off for 2 weeks with it, she's in yr6 but her school have a history of pressurising DC to come in when ill. Even her HT asked how she was, said there was a lot of it going round, and left it at that.

I'd keep her off.

PhilomenaButterfly · 21/11/2018 16:00

She shouldn't get late marks for doctor's appointments. That's an authorised absence.

Darkbaptism · 21/11/2018 16:04

Aeroflotgirl I am trying to find out if all the local schools also don’t follow the 48 hour rule.

Gfsrykcfu · 21/11/2018 16:13

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rosablue · 21/11/2018 16:14

I would call the school out and refuse on the grounds of safeguarding - they are failing in their duty of care to your dd and all the other pupils she will come into contact with (and any staff that are caring - the staff that want her back quite frankly deserve to have her puke all over them and get a really nasty bout of the same bug).

I would tell them that is the reason she is not going back in - and report them to the governors, and the appropriate local council officers (the LADO? any others?) and even the councillor in charge of schools - it's a completely irresponsible and cruel thing to do to a sick child (including effectively not wanting her to go to the doctor's). Needs to be stopped... and your dd needs to stay at home and recover or she will end up needing even longer off.

Hope she recovers and feels much better very soon...

MrsChristianTrevelyanGrey · 21/11/2018 16:19

I really don't think she should be in school, for her best interests and the other pupils

Are you in the Uk? Not sure if you have said I've missed it

Your partner and the school are ridiculous

Powerless · 21/11/2018 16:21

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cindersrella · 21/11/2018 16:25

How can a school demand you take your child in when they are so poorly and how can you not tell them to piss off in the nicest possible way?

There is no way I'd be taking either of mine in if they were as ill as you child sounds. Do your school have policies on sickness? I'm sure demanding an ill child go in after day 3/4 wouldn't be in it 😼

RB68 · 21/11/2018 16:32

I think this is a new evil that alot of academies are bringing in to show improvement in attendance numbers. Its very draconian but the kids are usually sent to a sick bay type place with the nurse and its meant to be v boring and if you are sick then you don't mind and if not you soon get better - so effectively they are saying kids lie and parents get taken in etc

A friend has a daughter at a school where only a hospital note is acceptable!!!!

seven201 · 21/11/2018 17:54

This is utter madness. If your daughter did go in I hope she threw up on the head teacher's shoes!

witchy89 · 21/11/2018 18:23

Omg, if a teacher turned up on my doorstep to check on my sick child I would tell them where to stick it and close the door in their face. I can't believe that's even allowed! Have you called the school every morning to let them know she won't be coming in due to illness? Could that be where the misunderstanding is coming from? This is all sounds insane!

Catsize · 21/11/2018 18:39

No wonder their attendance stats are in trouble if they insist on vomiting children being in school. 🙄

RitaSueandFatFuckingMavis · 22/11/2018 21:28

Things like this make me fucking fuming.

What utter disgusting bullshit.

Don't pander to it. Speak to your gp. Explain the situation to them and get a sick note.

Absolutely outrageous. Please do not under any circumstances send your DD into school.

She is your priority not their fucking attendance stats.

Once she is better and you are able to , I would be complaining to the head and the governors.

Hope your DD feels better

💐

RitaSueandFatFuckingMavis · 22/11/2018 21:32

Got to be honest now but I'd be looking for a new school.

They sound like absolute uncaring and insane cunts.

Seriously.

Please don't send her in. I would be furious with you if
My child picked up what your child has got.

Worriedmummybekind · 22/11/2018 21:34

They can’t fine you and it wouldn’t matter how much time off she had had, as long as she was actually ill it still wouldn’t matter. If her attendance was really poor the LEA could get a medical need tutor but that’s all. The school is being borderline abusive and I would make a formal complaint to the governors.