child is ill but school are complaining.

[leilarose98]

my 13 y/o daughter has been off school since monday due to constant throwing up, full body aches, coughing, cold sweat and a headache. today is her third day off and she has a doctors appointment in the morning for something different, however i was going to bring this up in order for medical advice and treatment. however, her high school have just called and told me she must attend tomorrow regardless of her physical state or i will be fined immediately. her school has a history of not sending children home when they are ill, especially if their attendance is not great, meaning if she throws up in school (which i have no doubt will occur) she will not be sent home. i worry because she is constantly crying due to being in immense pain yet i am having to send her to school, among other students who could get ill too, and forcing her to do work while in this state will not help her- she cannot concentrate on almost anything and is always tired. a friend told me i should ring them back and ‘kick off’ but i highly doubt they will change their mind! advice?

Ask them to put it in writing and include the policy from which they are working.

i believe you, OP. Some schools employ people whose only or main job is to chase up non-attendance and get children back into school to protect the attendance figures. It isn't always about doing the right thing for the children and some of these people will threaten things that are rubbish just to get what they need to hit their targets.

Tell the school to get to fuck (well, not in so many words). They can't arrest you on the spot, and your DD is genuinely ill.
Also, write a letter to the Chair of Governors, complaining about the sickness/attendance policies and asking them to show some common sense. The governors will have to investigate the matter and might be able to slap the HT down a bit.

I say again OP, are you sure this is the right school for your DD?

Firstly you cannot be fined unless your child has 10 sessions out of 100 sessions of unauthorised absence in the any academic year. Secondly you cannot be immediately fined. Thirdly there must be more to this. What was your daughter's overall attendance at the end of the last academic year?

On the pill at 13? Underlying health issues? Are you absolutely certain she isn’t truanting?

when she first threw up i thought it may be because of her mini pill, however it continued to progressively get worse.

Why would you think this? Has she just started taking it? Check the side effects, it may not agree with her.

My goodness they can go fish, your child's health is of paramount importance, and no doctors appointment would ever be cancelled because school demanded she be brought in. They sound awful, and do not have the child's health and well being at heart. I would complain to OFSTEAD.

OFSTED don’t deal with individual issues like this.

she’s on the pill for menstrual problems not pregnancy

have you spoken to the borough/local authority attendance officer?

I don't know if your school has one but it's worth finding out. My dd had dreadful attendance (72%) but it was because of ill health (she had v bad tonsilitis which they wouldn't operate on, then did and she was having weeks off at a time. She's also a bad asthmatic and had a number of issues with that).

Once I engaged with the attendance officer everything was much easier. He immediately realised he wasn't dealing with someone bunking off and then any time I had an issue, I just called him directly. Totally changed the whole process for me.

The school were just doing what yours was but I think the attendance officer then dealt with the school.

this is London so it might be that your local authority works differently but worth asking if they have one

But the whole attendance thing at school is unacceptable, keeping ill children there when they should be at home is quite concerning.

How can she be truanting, if she is at home with op in pain, throwing up .

The school sounds batshit. What a ridiculous way to be. Sending her in to spread the bug is going to bring the rest of the school down with it which will have a massive impact on their attendance. More so that just one child.

Stand firm. Do not send her.

Most schools I know would send you away with a flea in your ear if you turned up with a vomiting child.

This sounds utterly ridiculous.

I'm gobsmacked that you have cancelled an appointment though.

That said-why was it in school time?

Anyone else remember the days when you just took a note in from your parents when you went back?

i’ve looked through the sickness policy but cannot find where it says the thing i need

What does it say?

Poor DD. Aside from the school, if she's been quite poorly since Monday morning I might consider taking her to the doctors - they could also do a note for the school if necessary.

How utterly bonkers. She is 13. Not in the middle of GCSEs or A Levels and in the middle of a long wintery term.

My DD's health is more important than the threat of a visit from school/fine.
If I were you, I'd be

1. calling the docs surgery to ask for a call back to discuss 3 days of vomiting
2. Telling the school that dd will be back when she's recovered
3. Change schools

What type of fucking school is this? Borstal?

My god op this is shocking. You are dd's parent. She is precious to you. Not them.
You get to make decisions like this as you can see exactly how ill dd is, they can't.

There must be a massive school wide problem with attendance and they're coming down on people like a ton of bricks but unfortunately your dd is being tarred with the same brush as those dc who are constantly off and it's not on.

I've always followed school procedures with my two and if I'm unsure of whether or not they should be in i have in the past rang dd'a school and made them aware ( she has a chronic illness ) and completely trust their judgement that if they deem she is too unwell they will phone me.
She's now in year 3 and they've never once had to call me.
Ds is in year 11 and is never unwell. He's only had antibiotics once in his life. He's always told me that the school pastoral unit is brilliant if anyone is unwell they go there to be checked out and are given time to rest if necessary and then parents are called if child is not well enough for lessons.

Your dd's school sounds like it doesn't care about the pupils, only the figures.

For gods sake tell the school to take a long walk off a short pier.

YOU are the parent. Not them. If your child is sick, they are sick. Keep her at home until she is well and get her to the doctors

they cant fine u for being off ill-no court in the land would rule for that

if u send her in its like saying youre right she not that ill

My kids are my priority and I would be telling any school that wants my sick child to be in school to get fucked. I would then be seriously considering if that's the right environment for my child going forward.

No way would i send them in like this. call them and tell them she isn't coming in as she is ill.

partner wants to send her to school!

If you do send her in to school, you cannot trust that they would do the right thing and call you if she is ill. Noway, partner goes fish too. She does not go into school if she is in pain and throwing up. If it is a bug, she will infect other students and teachers, and there might be those with compromised immune systems.