child is ill but school are complaining.

[leilarose98]

my 13 y/o daughter has been off school since monday due to constant throwing up, full body aches, coughing, cold sweat and a headache. today is her third day off and she has a doctors appointment in the morning for something different, however i was going to bring this up in order for medical advice and treatment. however, her high school have just called and told me she must attend tomorrow regardless of her physical state or i will be fined immediately. her school has a history of not sending children home when they are ill, especially if their attendance is not great, meaning if she throws up in school (which i have no doubt will occur) she will not be sent home. i worry because she is constantly crying due to being in immense pain yet i am having to send her to school, among other students who could get ill too, and forcing her to do work while in this state will not help her- she cannot concentrate on almost anything and is always tired. a friend told me i should ring them back and ‘kick off’ but i highly doubt they will change their mind! advice?

Sorry OP but you need to grow a backbone

I'd be finding a different school because this one seems insane.

i just simply would not want to hinder my child’s school life. i know she gets easily embarrassed by her family speaking to school about matters that may cause anger and i do not want her to be embarrassed

You don't need to be horrible or rude about it. Just assertive. Someone put it well upthread.

DD will not be attending school until she has stopped vomiting. This is my decision as her parent. If you think this warrants a visit from the school welfare officer that is your right.

Just stay polite, clear and assertive.

Until 48 hours after she has stopped vomiting according to infection guidelines!

What the fuck? Is this a Nazi state? Tell them to get to fuck and rebook the GP appointment if you can.

Email the school, politely of course, and copy in the head and the Governors and state the threats of financial penalties have distressed you and your deeply unwell child who is vomiting and in pain. Tell them what you have told us, and that they are welcome to send staff to hold her hair back for her whilst she vomits profusely, but that you will not endanger her health by sending her to school in this condition.

In the same email, advise that you are aware of the school policy not to send unwell children home and that you are concerned that this would mean her needs could not be met if she were to be returned to school too soon, further endangering her health therefore she will be kept off until she is 100% well.

Arseholes.

Well, yes, 48 hours after as ItWasn'tMe says.

this may be a ridiculous question, but are they even allowed to fine a parent for simply not sending a sick child to school??

LA’s fine not school. Your dd cannotvattend school until Monday at the earliest . Don’t let them bully you.

No of course not only if they have proof a parent is lying and the child had a significant number of days off.

Ignore them. If your child is sick keep her off.

That's ridiculous! Firstly, I wouldn't have cancelled the GP appointment (although you shouldn't really take a vomiting child out in public) and secondly, I'd have been straight onto the school telling them that your DD won't be back until she is well enough!
You need to stand up for your DD.

I suspect, unfortunately, this is the flip side of parents ringing in and claiming their child is sick when they are actually taking them out of school for a fun day off/holiday etc. .... the school can't just take a parent's word for it any more.

Cancelling the appointment and sending her in just makes it look like the school were right and she’s not really sick.

Take her to the dr’s.

I’d call their bluff.

What sort of shit show are they running? If a child is ill they are ill and you as their parent get to make that decision.

Tell the jumped up little jobsworths to sod off and she’ll be at school when she’s ready to be at school.

And don’t cancel her doctors appointment, why on earth would you do that?

You're utterly ridiculous to send an ill child to school and deny her medical treatment. Get a spine! You let these people bully you and show her that her health isn't important. That's a dire lesson to show your child.

I'm shocked you've cancelled a medical appointment because the school have been a bit pissy man up OP!

The school cannot demand she attends school if she is ill. That is your decision as a parent. Definitely take her for her doctors appointment - it sounds like she needs some medical help. If necessary ask the doctor for a letter to send to the school.

Are you absolutely sure there isn’t a misunderstanding here? Schools don’t fine for absence, LEAs do. And no LEA would fine for 3 days off sick.

And I have never heard of a school not having a 24/48 hour after last throwing up rule. Can you ring and talk to someone at the school about it?

I agree that cancelling the doctors appointment makes it look like you're worried about getting found out. Rebook another appointment as soon as possible, or if there aren't any then call 111 and ask to be seen by out of hours. If she is so sick that she can't really get up then it won't hurt to be seen by a GP, and should also probably be off school for a fairly substantial period of time as she will be infectious and so you may need to get a doctor's note to confirm her absence anyway.

I'm staggered by your decision making. I never would have cancelled the GP appointment.
I would have just called HoY and said. No. No, I'm not bringing her in. End of.

I also wonder if there is a misunderstanding as the sickness policy is usually 24/48 hours after the last episode of vomiting- and she's not even stopped yet!

I would just look up their sickness policy and reiterate it back to them. I'd also assert that she has flu like symptoms and their duty of care to other children mean that she cannot return to school.

I wouldn't begin to entertain sending her in, one of mine who has hardly ever had time off had flu last year and was bedridden for a week, end of story.

On another note, your doctor will not thank you for going to an appointment with a child with a vomiting bug/flu so unless it is very very urgent, that appointment needs cancelling and then perhaps rebooking for late in the school day so she could be signed in for afternoon and then leave say at 2.30pm.

She should definitely not be at school - and I would be wondering if she has influenza.

I am confused
have already had to cancel her doctors appointment because school demanded we go back later ):

Why would you even be considering taking her to a doctors appointment if she is constantly throwing up, full body aches, coughing, cold sweat and a headache?

Surely you would have cancelled the Doctors appointment anyway?

But no, she also shouldn't be going back to school. Has she many days off of school for the previous half term?

What utter crap.

What does your LA say in their sickness policy?