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Please hold my hand - cancer.

986 replies

Trazzletoes · 02/10/2012 10:31

Currently in hospital since last night with DS who is 3. Scans show masses on his brain. Drs believe them to be tumours, likely to have come from his abdomen.

Waiting for more scans/tests etc. staff are being overly nice to us which is worrying me more (though they did refer us to social services last night as they thought DH or I had fractured DS' skull.

Feel incredibly sick. He is 3 years old. Please hold my hand.

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Trazzletoes · 13/10/2012 07:12

Yup, I've just woken up with a cold which means I can't see DS until I'm better. God knows how long that will be. DH desperately needs rest which he won't get in hospital... We are all exhausted and I don't know how much longer we can go on like this. I'm sorry, I know I'm being really moany and having a giAnt pity party for us right now... I will snap out of it, I promise...

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Trazzletoes · 13/10/2012 07:14

Toffee thank you - that is EXACTLY how my brain works too. It currently feels too full of mashed potato to think of anything. I have an exercise book that is staying with DS at hospital and everything to do with his care is in there. Everything else, I have my organised mum planner Grin

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SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 13/10/2012 07:53

Oh no, do you have someone who can visit ds while you're full of germs?

BarmeeMarmee · 13/10/2012 07:58

Trazzle so sorry that you're having to deal with the extra of colds and sickness on top of everything else. Sending you good well wishes and hoping that you are over your cold soon. Also hoping DS's temperature comes down soon. As you say, thank God for mothers-and your DC's are lucky that theirs is you. Thinking of you all.

KinkyandGhoulishDorito · 13/10/2012 08:07

Trazzle Ask the charge nurse about your cold. The rules for parents used to be if you are running a temperature or if you have a sickness bug - I had to go in with a mild cold as there was nobody else to cover for me, but they were find about it and DD already had it. I realise that you might not want to go, just in case. If either of us ever felt unwell, we'd ring the ward and check what they wanted us to do. It gets very complicated at this time of year because bugs are everywhere. I really feel for you, it is horrible to be stuck away from them. Plus, as parents we get very run down with the worry and stress and pick things up quite easily.

As always, I am thinking of all of you.

KinkyandGhoulishDorito · 13/10/2012 08:08

fine

MrsDeVere · 13/10/2012 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeadQODy · 13/10/2012 08:44

Hope you're feeling a bit better today and love to mini trazzle x

RinderThrillerNight · 13/10/2012 08:59

Trazzle, I hope you all have a better day today.

You are not moany, or self pitying. Just using this as an outlet for your frustrations and anger. Which can only be a good thing - they have to go somewhere.

Thinking of you and your beautiful boy lots xx

elliepac · 13/10/2012 09:10

Morning trazzle. Sorry you had such a rubbish day yesterday. Hope you, ds and dd are all feeling a little better this morning and have a better day today.Smile

BuffyFairy · 13/10/2012 09:12

Oh no Trazzle. Everything at once eh. Fwiw you are not being self-pitying at all, but if you want to throw a massive pity party here you'll get nothing but sympathy and encouragement from us.

Poor dd, hope she is much better today.

Poor ds, hope his temp comes down and that he doesn't have the sickness too.

Poor you. Get some Potters liquid echinacea and megadoses of vit c & zinc. A few days of that should blast it, won't harm you but will turn your pee scarily fluorescent Grin. Yes to the First Defence stuff mentioned by another poster.

Holding your hand very tightly. You will ride through this. You'll find reserved of strength you never knew you had.

JustSpiro · 13/10/2012 09:17

Sorry to hear things are no better.

Is there any facility for you to Skype DS while he is in hospital?

Not only would it mean you could still see/talk to each other in situations like this (I know it's not the same as being there, but better then nothing), but it might be nice for him to have the occasional call from other family members and friends too as he's going to be there a lot.

Hope you and DD are on the mend soon so that at least that is one less thing to worry about.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 13/10/2012 09:56

Good lord Trazzle, you are anything but moany. I hope DD gets well soon and your cold clears quickly so you can get back to your DS.

Trazzletoes · 13/10/2012 12:22

DH has reported that DS has stopped eating again - likely to need a tube put in in the next few days. Already. We were desperately hoping that this wouldn't happen so early on.

And he's going to need a blood transfusion soon as well.

AND BLOODY CURRYS! ARGH! I've a good mind to drive over to their store and get really REALLY angry with them.

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Cadmum · 13/10/2012 12:36

Oh Trazzle... My heart goes out to you. What a rough start to the weekend. I was never so terrified as when ds2 had an ng tube but it really is essential that he maintain his strength.

I hope the nursing staff are quick and gentle. They must have plenty of experience.

Remember to take care of yourself as well.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 13/10/2012 12:41

Ah trazzle I know it's a horrible thing to see but it's essential he gets all the nutrients in him as quickly and painlessly and easy as possible so he has the strength to fight.
It's a thing you hope you will never see and it looks and sounds scary but he needs it.
Take care of yourself, wishing you and DS strength and love.

ToffeeWhirl · 13/10/2012 12:51

Oh, Trazzle, I'm so sorry you are facing this. I worried you might catch your children's cold when you said they were ill Sad. Are work being supportive to your DH? He really needs time off if possible.

I'm glad my 'Flying' tips weren't out of place Smile. When I was going through a difficult time, I found that I could just about remember to check my notebook every morning (placed by the kettle so I would see it when I went to make my morning cup of tea), but that was about it. It was the only way I kept on top of everything.

I'm so sorry your darling boy has to have a tube and blood transfusion already ((hugs)).

lisad123 · 13/10/2012 12:56

Are you sure it's a cold? Sometimes when I'm run down it feels like a cold until I have slept Sad

onedev · 13/10/2012 13:01

So sorry you're now ill. The whole thing is exhausting & you've every right to moan & vent. Get it all out here. Hope you feel better soon & can get back to your beautiful family.

MrsDeVere · 13/10/2012 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strictlycaballine · 13/10/2012 13:24

Oh no Trazzle so sorry you are feeling rough and are having to deal with dd's sickness on top of everything else. You are being far from moany! Totally understandable that all of your immune systems have taken a bashing what with recent shock/strain of situation etc. Can you recruit some more family members on to the support team? And ditto what Toffee said about your dh's work?

Sorry to hear about blood transfusion and feeding tube but try and think of them as things that will help [easier said than done I know]

Hope you can get as much rest as humanly poss in the circs while you are at home x

youarewinning · 13/10/2012 13:39

On no trazzle sorry to hear your poorly. I'm really glad your getting some support in RL too.

I once drove to Curry's and gave them a peace of my mind. It worked so I'm happy to help out there if needs be - although it would my local curry's as I'm miles from you. Grin

Trazzletoes · 13/10/2012 14:30

lisa I did think it may be because I'm run down - I've felt a bit off colour all week and put it down to that, but this morning I woke up with itchy ears (my guaranteed first sign of a cold), a bunged up nose and sneezing. It seems to have cleared away now though, thank goodness.

Staying away from hospital just in case, but they have said I can go on the ward if I want to, they just wouldn't advise it.

DH reports that DS is having his first blood transfusion this afternoon. If you donate, my heartfelt thanks to you.

I know the nose tube will be a good thing in the long run, it's just that we were hoping that we would be much further down the chemo route before it became necessary. Up until now he hasn't really looked that sick so we are really only just coming to terms with how poorly he really is.

I so desperately wish I could make him better.

On the plus side, the antibiotics seem to be helping and his temperature has stayed down today of it's own accord.

DD is still hotter than the sun and refusing to eat, but I can cope with normal childhood poorliness. It's having them both sick, not being able to be with them both that I am really struggling with. And being so helpless with DS. I'm his mum. He thinks that I can fix any problem in the world for him. I should be able to.

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Trazzletoes · 13/10/2012 14:31

Spiro, technically yes to Skype, but there is barely any 3G reception so it's not really practical.

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ToffeeWhirl · 13/10/2012 15:29

Trazzle - Lemsip capsules are brilliant when you have a cold. They always get me through it.

I donate blood regularly (prompted to start again after a MN thread pricked my conscience) and, curiously, have never thought that it might go to a child. I suppose it's just such an awful thought that we don't like to think of it. It's sobering to realise how vital it is that people donate. (For anyone who wants to start giving blood, go here. It's easy to do and you get free biscuits and crisps Smile).

It must be awful for you to have to stay away from your DS because of your cold. Have they said when it will be safe for you to go back? I think colds are most contagious at the start or just before the symptoms appear.

You have had so much to deal with in such a short space of time. You are doing brilliantly. You may not be able to "fix any problem" in the magical way DS imagines, but you are fixing it in the real world, just by being strong, following the doctors' advice and supporting your little boy.