Intimate hygiene in girls

[cleanandfresh]

Yeah I know crap title and I apologise in advance for "twee" terms BUT I am genuinely a bit confused about cleaning my little girl's "bits" (and I am calling them bits for brevity's sake rather than getting into labia major and minoria etc...)

So my girl is nearly 3 and she has a bath before bedtime most nights (except Fridays). I know that soap is not a good thing for the intimate regions so I don't get her to soap there but do remind her to "swish her twinkle" (yeah shoot me!) along with swishing her tummy and legs etc.

I have noticed these past few days that she has white, creamy deposits in the folds and around the top of her clitoral hood and wondered whether I should be trying to wash these away. She's been ferreting around this area occasionally and has said "look it's creamy" but it doesn't seem to bother her. The other day she was pretending to be a baby and have her nappy changed so I took the opportunity to get some cotton wool and try to really clean in this area but she really didn't like me doing it and I must admit it didn't feel right.

I guess I worry about thrush but I don't think it is and then I worry about messing about where I should just leave well alone. But then I worry about being too coy and maybe I should be actively encouraging her to "clean" there a bit more. I know on Mumsnet there is a small sector that think any female scent or secretions should be disinfected away and I don't want to fall into that trap - but I do want to keep my daughter healthy and instill a healthy, positive attitude towards her genitalia. I always use the words beautiful and fresh in relation to her body as in my own childhood I was very much given a negative impression of that area of my body.

Mothers of girls please help me out here

ProcessYellowC - thank you, you said more accurately what I was trying to say! I also felt that if the OP was a pervert I couldn't understand what they would be getting from this post. I'd like to say as well that a friends husband was changing their 3 month old daughters particularly explosive nappy the other day and asked his wife if he should try to clean more inside the little girl as he thought he saw some poo. The mum just said her rule was "if you can see anything you have to clean it" but talking to her about it she said she was always wary of how to clean her daughter properly but not invasively. I think it's quite smug to say that it should be instinctive because for not all people it is

hehehe.

you know OP, i do also know what you mean about cleaning a young girl down there/applying sudocreme or whatever feeling peculiar. not because, OBVIOUSLY,it is anything to do with sex, but because i want her to have very clear boundaries and don't want anyone touching her there without her permission etc. but then to whom would she give permission, she's only very wee, doesn't have any adult understanding of what might happen. so then i feel like i'm over-reacting and then get myself embroiled in a torturous convo with her about who exactly is allowed to touch her down there... oh lord, and then you don't know if you just should never have said anything in the first place... it's just a bit of a minefield i think.

anyway to answer the question, i don't use soap myself there, nor do the dds, and we use a sponge or flannel in the bath. i do check that she's clean down there every so often (since i read a thread on here to say that if you don't and if the labia ulcerate at all little girls can basically close up and have to use steroid cream to separate) and i do not worry overly about a bit of that creamy stuff. if there was redness and increased urination i might get her checked out for thrush.

Ha ProcessYellowC, that's my problem too, I think very carefully before I write so thousands of posts have passed before I actually submit mine!

christ, how bizarre, you mention your daughter's vagina and hey presto, you're a pervert.

truly bizarre.

I'd be interested to know if the people who originally thought this wasn't a genuine post still feel the same? One of the reasons mentioned for it looking like a "pervert" posting was the time and day it was posted. I only ever post late at night, normally between baby feeding times as also have a toddler and just don't manage to get on line during the day, and my husband happens to be out tonight but I'll know for the future to never ask a "delicate" question late on a Friday night. Pretty sure that's not what MN was meant to be like but it is how I feel about it after this thread.

i doubt they'll come back... probably too busy on pervert patrol.

@ blinks

mathanxiety - can I ask why you think the OP is a perv?

Bizarre - this seems like a perfectly reasonable question to me?

Agree it's sad that you can't even mention your child's genitals without being a paedo

What a horrifying thread - the every idea that some man might try to get off on something like that (naive, I'm sure) coupled with the fact that genuine OPs can get branded a perve for this - I've talked about cleaning girls' bits with loads of my mum friends - so what? It's tricky!

How depressing...

And I have no idea if the OP is genuine or not...

Well, I am one of the 'wankers' from last night.

I did say to use soap.

OP kept on coming back and asking for more advice.

I (and others) found the poster's style suspicious- it just didn't ring true at all.

Nothing wrong with asking how to care for your DD's vulva, obviously and that wasn't the issue here at all.

Have a DD of 3 and a half so will just let you know what I do.

Bath most days in water with baby bubble bath, she just swims about in the water and then a couple of times a week she washes her own hair. She doesnt wash any its specifically, and doesnt soap herself at all.

Ever since she was toilet trained she has liked to sit watching TV with her hand in her pants. This seems quite normal to me, my boys also do it.

I wouldnt know if she had discharge unless it was on her pants because she washes and drys herself. I would only look if she said it hurt, and then I would ask her first.

OP, if your DD is not itchy and not in pain I wouldnt. HTH.

Wouldnt worry, was what I was trying to say.

I am a wanker from last night too...and I stand by what I said and I will bet you that te OP won't come back...and if he/she does then they will continue to mention vagina's etc...in the hope that they can engage women in discussing them.

To the person who could not see what the OP would get out of it...well you are naive, there are some extremely odd people out there who get off on anything vaguely related to sex...especially live disusson.

And another thing...a Mother with concerns goes to the doctor.

Ballstoit...why are you repeating what about ten other parents have advised? If there was a SHADOW of a doubt that an OP was a perve...I for one would not offer little anecdotes abut my child up to them!

I'm a mother of 4 and I still wonder what the best way to clean the DDs. I don't use soap as it gives me thrush, so just water and maybe cotton wool. As you would have when she was a baby?

I am appalled that people have screamed pervert. What on earth are they thinking? Sexualising hygiene FFS. Is this what MN has become?

Shanahans - if you think it's a perve why don't you report the post?

Asking a question about cleaning a part of the body isn't perverted. The OP could've been asking about earwax as far as i'm concerned.

this is a terribly sad thread and just shows everything that is wrong in the world today,i dont know if op is genuine or not, nobody can possibly know that for sure but it has really highlighted how horrible the world is and how worrying it is that there are so many perverts out there that people are so quick to wonder if somebody posting is potentially a perv.

i think the only thing to learn from this is that anybody with this sort of problemz should have gone to her gp as in best case scenario that yes,she is genuine (and i think she prob is)it still leaves open the horrible possibility of nasty people reading the thread and getting something out of it

OFFS- I've been on MN for some time and I've never seen OP being suspected of getting kicks out of discussions like that.

There are plenty of threads with OP asking advice on the most intimate issues, whether relating to them or their DCs.

People are always very supportive and try to help.

Some of us didn't believe the OP last night- and again, not because of the subject matter, but because of the posting style that didn't seem genuine at all.

I don't think anyone needs to worry about being called a pervert just for asking questions about personal hygiene, fgs.

it did seem rather alarming to me how quickly op was called a perv but then again im quite new to mn so maybe dont pick up on posting style and hadnt seen other posts before about personal hygeine .still, if it were me i would have just gone to gp i think

I wouldn't go to the GP until I've taken some measures myself - cut fingernails, discourage hands in pants, clean with water, taken advice from other mothers maybe.

If I was really concerned, then of course. But I'd rather spare her the doctors examination if I could sort it out myself. Same goes for earwax, warts, skin complaints etc.

OP you could always put a call into your health visitor.