Intimate hygiene in girls

[cleanandfresh]

Yeah I know crap title and I apologise in advance for "twee" terms BUT I am genuinely a bit confused about cleaning my little girl's "bits" (and I am calling them bits for brevity's sake rather than getting into labia major and minoria etc...)

So my girl is nearly 3 and she has a bath before bedtime most nights (except Fridays). I know that soap is not a good thing for the intimate regions so I don't get her to soap there but do remind her to "swish her twinkle" (yeah shoot me!) along with swishing her tummy and legs etc.

I have noticed these past few days that she has white, creamy deposits in the folds and around the top of her clitoral hood and wondered whether I should be trying to wash these away. She's been ferreting around this area occasionally and has said "look it's creamy" but it doesn't seem to bother her. The other day she was pretending to be a baby and have her nappy changed so I took the opportunity to get some cotton wool and try to really clean in this area but she really didn't like me doing it and I must admit it didn't feel right.

I guess I worry about thrush but I don't think it is and then I worry about messing about where I should just leave well alone. But then I worry about being too coy and maybe I should be actively encouraging her to "clean" there a bit more. I know on Mumsnet there is a small sector that think any female scent or secretions should be disinfected away and I don't want to fall into that trap - but I do want to keep my daughter healthy and instill a healthy, positive attitude towards her genitalia. I always use the words beautiful and fresh in relation to her body as in my own childhood I was very much given a negative impression of that area of my body.

Mothers of girls please help me out here

I can't believe that you need to post this.

OK Llareggub - what makes you say that?

Are you male or female? If you are female then you'd know what to do, wouldn't you?

Strange first post.

Encourage her to wash her own bits with clean water using a flannel or sponge? Same time as you encourage her to clean her pits and face. Not in that order obviously.

Your DD has a discharge and an itch. Take her to the doctors.

OK Llareggub, I'm female AND I have two DDs but I too am puzzled by your post. Please enlighten both of us. Sorry caf I have no experience of this unless it is thrush? Though she seems a little young, not sure whether they can get vaginal thrush that young? Does it look red and sore as well? As though it is irritating her? I don't really know but I think I might pop her into the doc's if she were my DD.

Oh bloody hell! You see, I had a conversation with my DH tonight - he asked me whether I'd noticed that she seemed to have a bit of "white" stuff there and I said I had noticed but wasn't sure whether it was best to wipe it away. I told him that I had been deliberating about asking about it on Mumsnet but had held off because I didn't know how to "word" it or even title the thread without being viewed as a potential perve.

But tonight I thought, you know what, I am going to be as honest as I can and try and just post this question. It is GENUINELY concerning me - it concerns me that I DON"T KNOW as a "female" what to do for the best but I'll put that aside in the interest of getting some (hopefully) helpful answers.

And, to my shame, I have namechanged because I anticipated a response like this and didn't want to be shown up for being a useless mother.

natural discharge

clean as normal

any other worries take to the doctor of discuss with health visitor practice nurse gp

Why would you debate this on a forum and not take her to the doctor?

I'm sorry if you are genuine but this smacks of pervy old bloke getting off at nearly midnight on a Friday night talking about children's genitalia.

So you don't use soap on yourself then?

Scurryfunge possibly because no mother would want to take her DD to have her "bits" inspected if she could help it? Doesn't look like a "pervy old bloke" post to me

Mmmmmm.....

Wow - it's sad when Mumsnet becomes a place where you really can't talk about this stuff for fear of being branded a pervy old bloke. But I know there are sensitivities about this and understand that people might be suspicious - but please give me the benefit of the doubt here or just leave the thread if it worries you.

Ok - my daughter is not scratching at this area as if it is bothering her - if she was I would take her to the doctor.

Rannaldini - thank you - you seem at least to be giving me the benefit of the doubt - all I would say is what you mean by "clean as normal"? It seems indelicate to take a flannel and rub her there - I ask her to do it herself but you know she isn't exactly thorough - would you recommend using soap?

Scurryfunge - I'm sorry if you are unsettled by this thread - I hope I can convince you that I am just a crap Mum rather than being sinister.

I wouldn't think to take DD to the GP over a little white discharge, and 'ferreting around' in that area is pretty normal in a toddler imo - not a sign that she's got an infection.
My DD is 3.5 and we wash no more there than it sounds as though you do.

DD has bubble bath in her bath, we don't use any other soap, apart from shampoo for her hair of course.

Wash with warm flannel then sudocrem if sore. If it gets worse go to GP or as we did pharmasist and get canesten for kids (can't remember the name of it but over the counter only).

He said it may be because she is still in nappies at night and has sensitive skin already - so sore skin leads to itching and infecting the area.

HTH

Soap. Fgs.

I'm with scurry, though It's not the question itself-just the way you posted it.

caf definitely wouldn't use soap as the area is too delicate. Perhaps a sponge would be gentler than a flannel? Difficult as not quite 3 year-olds are not very thorough though I think I would be quite squeamish about doing it for her in your position. She's not exactly a baby any more either is she?

Why wouldn't you use soap? Presumably you use soap on your own undercarriage? ?

I am slightly concerned with these two sentences though:

"so I took the opportunity to get some cotton wool and try to really clean in this area but she really didn't like me doing it and I must admit it didn't feel right."

"But then I worry about being too coy and maybe I should be actively encouraging her to "clean" there a bit more"

Why doesn't it feel 'right' to clean your daughter? i don't understand.

Why would you feel 'coy' about cleaning your 3yo's genitals? Why would you think that you need to talk to her about doing it? At this stage DS wipes his face and hands and we make sure the rest of him is clean.

Genuinely confused... i'm not being picky, but those sentences did concern me.. odd way of phrasing things is all.

My DD is 3 and washes it herself in the bath every night now. She's been doing it herself for about 6 months now.

Tbh I buy Femfresh for me to use but you could always use that for her, but water is fine as well of course.

You sound American in your OP

I'd say, wash with plain water, no soap, natural secretions will keep the area healthy otherwise. If she seems to be itchy and red, (you said ferreting?) take her to the doctor.
Timing of post may have alerted/confused people?
HTH.

A good wash should sort her out, and at not quite three, you should still be making sure she's clean in that area.

to reiterate - I'm not being critical, I'm just confused by the way you phrased your OP

Thanks thelibster and RobynLou. My thinking is that if she is immersed in water 6 nights out of 7 without harsh soaps or bubble baths then she will be neither "unclean" or "overclean". I was diagnosed myself at the age of 19 with thrush when I went for my first smear test and I remember thinking that I would have had NO idea that I had it without the doctor telling me so. This made me a little unsure of my self-awareness when it came to these things! I also know that with thrush you can have things called plaques that if you lift them away expose raw skin and I am really fearful that if I am too vigorous in my attempts to clean that I might make my daughter sore.

Is it just plain old smegma I'm seeing?