Intimate hygiene in girls

[cleanandfresh]

Yeah I know crap title and I apologise in advance for "twee" terms BUT I am genuinely a bit confused about cleaning my little girl's "bits" (and I am calling them bits for brevity's sake rather than getting into labia major and minoria etc...)

So my girl is nearly 3 and she has a bath before bedtime most nights (except Fridays). I know that soap is not a good thing for the intimate regions so I don't get her to soap there but do remind her to "swish her twinkle" (yeah shoot me!) along with swishing her tummy and legs etc.

I have noticed these past few days that she has white, creamy deposits in the folds and around the top of her clitoral hood and wondered whether I should be trying to wash these away. She's been ferreting around this area occasionally and has said "look it's creamy" but it doesn't seem to bother her. The other day she was pretending to be a baby and have her nappy changed so I took the opportunity to get some cotton wool and try to really clean in this area but she really didn't like me doing it and I must admit it didn't feel right.

I guess I worry about thrush but I don't think it is and then I worry about messing about where I should just leave well alone. But then I worry about being too coy and maybe I should be actively encouraging her to "clean" there a bit more. I know on Mumsnet there is a small sector that think any female scent or secretions should be disinfected away and I don't want to fall into that trap - but I do want to keep my daughter healthy and instill a healthy, positive attitude towards her genitalia. I always use the words beautiful and fresh in relation to her body as in my own childhood I was very much given a negative impression of that area of my body.

Mothers of girls please help me out here

oh and we use flannels with fleece on one side, very gentle.

thelibster-wtf? She is a 3 yo. Squeemish?
What is wrong with you people?

smegma??? Right.. you're officially fucking nuts.. little girls don't have smegma

FFS

Jareth I think you're wrong, I'm pretty sure both males and females have smegma. Just that it's more common in males I think.

I think its a horrible word for the body's natural lubricants and more associated with males.

Winnybella by the time my DC were 3 I was already introducing the idea to them that there were parts of their bodies which were private and that it was "not right" that anyone else should touch them there. How else do we protect our children? Maybe "squeamish" wasn't the right word maybe I should just have said "uncomfortable". There are some very "quick to condemn" people on here not to say suspicious.

OP, really, not a good time for this post- leave and bump the morning?

Aaaarrghh! I am NOT A PERVERT!!! Already I can see two camps - one camp that says "FGS woman do you not use soap on your own undercarriage" and the other camp that says "don't use soap it's too harsh" . Good, so there is a difference of opinion of how we even clean our OWN bits never mind how we approach our own daughters.

I am sorry about my wording. I don't think there is a way that I could have worded this post that WOULDN'T have set off the perve alerts in some people. And perhaps I shouldn't be so flippant about it because maybe some of you are genuinely unsettled by this post and I am sorry if that is the case.

Can I ask you Walkingonair what is strange about this post? Is it the time of night? (I admit I have had a glass of wine and it has helped me finally pluck up the courage to ask this question) - is it the fact that you know exactly what to do in this situation and cannot understand anyone NOT being able to know what to do? What is it exactly that makes you call "pervert!". I'd really like to know.

Jareth smegma IS produced by both males and females. Perhaps you could be a little more certain of your facts before you pile in with your kneejerk accusations?

Well, I'm not going to tell you. For the exact reason that I am not convinced that you're real. Sorry.

If you are real, just buy some gentle soap and supervise the washing if you're too uncomfortable to do it yourself.

IOP, its mumsnet. If you said the sky was blue somebody would say something else, like it only looks blue. Trying to be nice BTW. See, you even have to say that.

thelibster-sorry, what exactly did you mean by 'There are some very "quick to condemn" people on here not to say suspicious.'?

OK a little bit of googling of Smegma has confirmed that it is produced by both male and female mammals. But you know what, I am talking about how to keep my daughter healthy and clean without freaking her out. Plain and simple - I don't want her thinking that she has a place that needs to be astringently stripped and soaped so that it doesn't "smell" or want to be too complacent so that she is susceptible to infection. I want to keep it light and bubbly and pleasant. This thread indicates that this is a VERY tall order.

To use the phrase "light, bubbly and pleasant" about your daughter's genitalia is unusual.

Scurry's right. People on here are massively naieve at times.

If you think I am a pervert - stop engaging me.

If you think I am genuine - please give me advice.

Thanks.

Just don't give me a fecking pombear please.

The fact is that a woman and especially a MOTHER knows all these things. People...leave it.

winnybella exactly that. The OP, it seems to me, is in a genuine quandry. What are "natural secretions" and is what is "natural" for one female necessarily "natural" for another? Sweating is a natural secretion yet some people sweat more than others. I can understand how a mother may be dithering over something like this, on the one hand it looks more sinister than what the OP is used to, on the other, the child doesn't seem particularly concerned and it doesn't seem to be irritated or sore. Does one take her to the doctor/health visitor to be perhaps unnecessarily inspected or does one ask for advice from other, perhaps more experienced mothers of daughters. It all seems to be a perfectly reasonable inquiry to me and yet some folk on here are jumping on her and, it seems to me, actively looking for wordings and turns of phrase to somehow try to "trip her up" because they are certain in their own minds that she is not genuine.

plain water is sufficient. any discomfort and she needs to see a gp.

OP could you do us all a favour and namechange back to your regular name so that anyone who is in doubt can be sure you are genuine? if your post is genuine there is nothing shameful about it so sharing your regular name will not be a problem.

THANK YOU thelibster! I am not angry that people are thinking I am pervert - I am just sad because I think it suggests that this forum is not a place for genuine open discussion. It should be. And I am not neccessarily condemning all the posters that are so suspicious either. I wanted to post this in Children's Health because I thought this would be the most appropriate place but I am actually thinking I would have got more practical advice and less suspicion if I had gone to the Feminist topic. But then it would be sad to think that women couldn't have this conversation in an open forum.

And I am not exactly going to have this conversation over a latte and a cupcake am I?