“Having kids keeps you young”

[MrsShawnHatosy]

Just read this on a thread in AIBU. And have often heard it said IRL. I think it’s rubbish tbh. We all age differently. I know people whose interest in the wider world doesn’t extend beyond their children and grandchildren.

Hope you don't mind me posting as a mum of 2 but I also think that phrase is a load of rubbish. It's what I'd call a "doth protest too much" thing to say.

I think having children ages you - my child-free friends are looking a lot better than me!

Although it’s possible I’d do better in a brain scan - I’m doing a lot of algebra explaining and French / German testing at the moment

Plus I am fluent in Gen Z slang - no cap

If anything having kids has aged me greatly! Not that I'd be without them mind!

As a mum of two I can confirm that nothing ages you faster than having children. Life is about choices, and we remained child free for the first decade of our marriage, but relatives would bombard us with silly reasons and pressure to have babies. We often heard about babies keeping you young, but the best was "who is going to visit you in the nursing home" 🤯

Oh it definitely ages you. The check 25 stopped dead after my first baby. I hope it's only in the short term but who knows.

It's aging!

What a load of bollocks. I know many people who aged visibly overnight after becoming parents.

I am going to go against the grain, defo keeps you young!

Jesus it's basically wrecked me, personally.

I'd tell them that having sex keeps you young. They probably haven't done THAT for years.

Do they mean like active rather than looks?
Youngs make older ones more active. We used to get younger dogs/cats to keep older dogs/cats running🙈
Nlt saying parents are animals! 😂 Just example of energy levels if thatmakes sense

Yes when I hear this phrase I hear it to be active wise.

As a mum of two pre school aged children I can confirm that having children does NOT keep you young, it does however AGE you. I looked in the mirror the other day and for the first time in my 31 years of life, I felt as though I looked older! Lack of sleep, constantly on the go, constant worry and remembering everything. Nothing about it keeps you young 😅

What is the phrase actually supposed to mean in practice? Like what would some examples be?

Yes, and no. Some people of my age (53) seem to be looking very much towards retirement and thinking ahead to the post-work stage of their lives, but for those of us who had a child comparatively late, we're still in the thick of parenting and may have friends who are two decades younger because they're parents of the child's friends. I suppose what I'm saying is that it's a sense of the 'phase of life' you identify with.

Physically, I think it's largely nonsense.

Absolutely not, I look a million years older since I had my daughter and she's only 18 months.

I hear it to be young at heart.

My late Mum had me at 43 and people used to throw this strange quip at her all the time.

She’d scowl and say ‘they bloody don’t’. Bless her.

Had the first two by 23, felt great even though I’d done two pregnancies in pretty quick succession. I would probably have said some BS like this. 26 now and had the third (and final) one at 25… rough as fuck. I still look pretty good but I feel like she leeched the calcium out of my bones or something and I’m stiff. I have actually had my bone density checked and I’m still good so it’s definitely not actually that, it’s probably muscular or something. I cannot imagine doing it at 40, I understand there’s pros and cons to each but no way would I do this again. DH has had the snip and said if I want another child later in life we can get a puppy or something we are definitely done.

If anything I think it ages you, especially if there’s a lack of support, sleep deprivation, etc.

Saying that, I always took that phrase to mean that having kids keeps you in touch with childhood, which you maybe wouldn’t otherwise - ie games, movies, kids activities, the general newness and wonder kids feel, stuff like that.

Can you explain how?

Physically absolutely not! Mentally however I think it can keep your outlook and way of thinking young.

Now I have 2 teens I know so much more music, gen z slang and different ways of looking at the world that I wouldn’t have come across otherwise and I love it.

I can relate to quite a lot of what the ‘youngsters’ at work talk about because of my teens.

But no absolutely not physically.

But what does that actually mean? Being down with what all the kids are into? Being more physically fit cos you’re running round with kids all the time?

I think in a way it keeps you mentally young but physically it ages you horribly.

You can do that without having kids though, by being curious about the world and being open to new experiences. There’s a saying, you don’t stop having fun when you get old, you get old when you stop having fun. I agree with that one.

If I didn't have kids would I have been at the biggest wave machine on boxing day of this year at Disney, would I have been white water rafting in the Easter Holidays in Charlotte, would I be doing Go Ape with my eldest this weekend?

The answer is probably not.