Anyone else sometimes get a wave of relief that they don’t have children?

[knowifIcando]

I’m in my late 30s and have known I think for a long time that I didn’t want kids. I’ve never really actively thought about it although now and then wonder if I’ll regret it.

And then I have moments like today. I’ve been at my sister’s house and my nieces are lovely, gorgeous kids but then she started talking to them about how they had to get their uniforms sorted for school, get the homework done and have baths and I felt such a feeling of relief that I had decided not to have them and could return to my peaceful home.

Niche?? 😅 It’s a sensible and great position.

You live alone as well ?

There was always crime with young people and there were always kids that are ND they just weren't diagnosed.

The world hasn't changed, we just spend all day consuming news now.

A 360? That doesn't mean what you think it means....

She didn't bother responding to my reply to her post, @Scalottia, so I doubt she'll bother replying to yours!

I do.

I can totally see how different and overwhelming the chaos of the school run must seem in that case. I have never lived alone and get super bored if on my own for more than 24 hrs ( although one night alone is bliss).

If I’m on my own for more than 24 hours, and it doesn’t happen that often, it’s only ever through choice. I caught up with a friend at the gym this morning & tomorrow I’m off to spend Father’s Day with family - but I’ll definitely want several hours solo time when I get back. I’m an introvert so while I love seeing family & friends I can only really recharge & relax when I’m on my own.

I love my DH to bits and like his company more than anyone else on earth, but I also enjoy alone time and so does he.

The reacharging. I can imagine.
When I get home from busy f2f days I just walk in with "Hey, love you, leave me alone for an hour" 😂
We make sure we have alone times at home too.

Agreed. I don’t have 24 hours on my own often but if I do it’s because I want it.

Today I’ve been to work, come home and read in the sun for a couple of hours, am then taking my nephew to the soft play and then having a takeaway with family, then will come home and enjoy the peace.

Anyone following this thread?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5354012-to-think-a-lot-of-people-regret-having-kids-but-are-too-ashamed-to-say-it?page=7

Granted it’s a goady title but there are some corkers on there such as

“I do know a lot of older people who chose not to have children and whilst they all say they have fantastic lives, personally it looks very boring.
They all drink much more than is healthy and I assume it is because they have little else to do and are incredibly bored”

Yes, I'm mind-numbingly bored having both the money and free time to do pretty much as I please. I'd far rather be up to my elbows in shitty nappies and driven mad by the constant whining/screeching/demands of children.

I also drink like a fish, and again, that's because I have the money and the time, I like alcohol, I like socialising with friends, and I don't have to be up at some ungodly hour to feed brats and do the school run.

This is exactly how DH's mate ( early 50's , single and childless, he is also a dot com millionaire so no need to work) feels. Bored and purposeless, he drinks too much as well to try to numb his eneui.

DH's brother also early 50's was similar also after years of not wanting to deal with nappies and calling children some pretty offensive names- he changed his mind and now has a 2 year old.

Yes BTW I am aware your post was sarcastic but my response is not.

Well, I’m 52 and had half a pint of cider last weekend, as part of a pub lunch halfway through a beautiful 6-mile walk along the local river. And I’ll probably have a brandy tonight when my sister & I visit our dad for Father’s Day weekend.

So there you go.

That sounds lovely- I love country walks. Not sure it's a child free thing though particularly, often go for a stroll and pub lunch with DS and his GF. TBF elderly parents are rate limiting step just now.

I didn’t say it was. More that it’s perfectly possible for someone without kids to have a busy, happy life in early 50s & not be a depressed alcoholic.

Your DH’s mate sounds as if he needs to find a hobby, or maybe get involved in volunteering.

How old is DHs brother's partner? Were they already in a relationship when he decided he wanted a kid?

Yes, I'm mind-numbingly bored having both the money and free time to do pretty much as I please. I'd far rather be up to my elbows in shitty nappies and driven mad by the constant whining/screeching/demands of children.
I also drink like a fish, and again, that's because I have the money and the time, I like alcohol, I like socialising with friends, and I don't have to be up at some ungodly hour to feed brats and do the school run.

I could have written that 😁

Both men are early 50's.
DH brother is now nearly 52, his birthday is 2 days after his daughter's. DH's mate was 50 last year. He has been with his DW since 2013 married in 2015. She is 45 if it makes any difference.

Well he actually has loads of hobbies, paints, plays in a band, does calenetics, skis ( they all do), goes to festivals- oh and renovates dilapidated properties for fun.

Yes I think I am just making the point it's not either/or. Being a parent doesn't preclude country walks, sports or anything else really, with the probable exeption of extensive last minute travelling once DC are school age. If however having others living in your personal space both physical and mental is extremely difficult for you then I think parenthood might be very nearly unbearable epecially for women.

So had she ever expressed a desire for children in the time they were together?

Yes, I'm mind-numbingly bored having both the money and free time to do pretty much as I please. I'd far rather be up to my elbows in shitty nappies and driven mad by the constant whining/screeching/demands of children.

😂Yep, yep.

So what makes you think he is bored, purposeless and drinks too much? That's a lot more going on his life than the average person.