Anyone else sometimes get a wave of relief that they don’t have children?

[knowifIcando]

I’m in my late 30s and have known I think for a long time that I didn’t want kids. I’ve never really actively thought about it although now and then wonder if I’ll regret it.

And then I have moments like today. I’ve been at my sister’s house and my nieces are lovely, gorgeous kids but then she started talking to them about how they had to get their uniforms sorted for school, get the homework done and have baths and I felt such a feeling of relief that I had decided not to have them and could return to my peaceful home.

And this is now reminding me of other occasions in the past when I was particularly happy to be childfree. When you (try and) socialise with anyone who has toddler(s) and it's hopeless because you never get to finish a conversation or even a sentence, Everyone end up 80% focused on the small beings who can barely form coherent words but are endlessly distracting and disruptive.

I'm going with ignore from now on as others have sensibly suggested.

Yes you cant argue with stupid.

I don't want to derail the thread, I just think :
a) It is frequently more nuanced than wanted/didn't want, planned/ unplanned

and
b) Most people end up satisfied

Thats all.

This is exactly what it’s like 😆

Yes probably in a lot of cases and yes hopefully the majority are happy with their life choices. One thing that is good is that women have so much more choice and freedom nowadays. In this country anyway.

It’s not just children with me, it’s the idea of anyone living with me all the time. Except obviously for my cat. I’d feel stressed and suffocated.

We still get judged for the choices , but it still beats not having them 🙈

I've never actually felt judged by anyone but even if someone was judging me it wouldnt bother me in the slightest to be judged on that.

Me too. Not to invalidate anyone else's experience, but I'm in my 40s and have never felt judged. Not by anyone with a brain anyway, and who cares what the brainless think?

@KimberleyClark- but have you though? If you started out childless not by choice and wanted children how can you do a compete 360 degree turn on it and say now that you feel relief? To be that focused on wanting a child you don’t ever feel relief that you can’t have them. As one PP said on here earlier they tried to take their own life because they couldn’t have a child and now they are relieved they didn’t have a child because they are too much hard work (??) Not being malicious just trying to understand as I just don’t get this

You don’t have to get this. If you want to, start your own thread to ask. You can literally contribute nothing to this one. You’re just desperate to hear that childfree women aren’t happy.

The rock is smooth and grey

seriously just don’t engage

no one owes anyone least of all a troll an explanation of your feelings on being childfree

Exactly. Ignore, report if you want, and re-rail by talking about the actual topic. They will get bored and find somewhere else to display faux wide-eyed wonder.

I grieved for the children I couldn’t have and moved on and embraced childfree life. As I’ve got older and more circumspect (it was 35 years ago I started ttc) I can see that ringing up children isn’t all sunshine and roses ( I had a really rose tinted view of it at first) and have got to really love my freedom and peace and quiet. I’m sure this must be a great disappointment to you, and that you’d rather imagine people like me being sad all our lives, but honestly, we’re not.

@KimberleyClark you don't have to explain yourself to anyone x

I’ve reported.

Thank you.

Me too. It’s clear trolling

What for giving an opinion that doesn’t match yours? Ok 🙄

This is possibly more for those who are childfree after infertility. But there is a lovely instagram account called Blooming with Care and she shares about how it is possible to build a meaningful life after loss and infertility. She does talk about feeling relief. It is inspiring and I can resonate with some of what she posts. Just thought I'd share 😊

Thank you! Will check it out.

@theeyeballsinthesky come on admit it, you came on this thread just to look through all the comments and see if you could find a troll 🤣🤣

The rock is smooth and grey

Fun fact. So are koalas' brains! On top of under average brain-body ratio. I read about them and still don't understand how they survive as species😂