Where can an alternative 40 something make friends?

[Tokek]

Hello!

I moved to my current city nearly two years ago with my partner, and having lived all over the country I have never struggled to make friends as much as I have here. I have already tried a number of groups, most of which haven't had the social element I've been looking for, and as such I'm making one last attempt at casting the net to see if there might be any obscure interest groups I could be missing.

What I've been looking for is the kind of hobby that attracts alternative, maybe neurodiverse people, and that both meets regularly (at least every two weeks), at the same time each week or fortnight and involves a social element. By this I mean either the hobby involves sitting around a table and chatting over the activity, or else people stay for a drink/go to a pub or cafe afterwards.

It is really astonishing how few groups seem to meet all three criteria, let alone attracting my fellow oddballs too! I'll go into things I have tried or considered below, which will probably come across as moany but will hopefully give some perspective:

Anything too sporty or vigorous is out as I'm marathon training so need to rest physically on my off days. Meetup has some nice groups, but very few are based around meeting at the same time each week/fortnight meaning that you go to one event and meet some nice people but it's pot luck as to whether you'll see them again. I have been in a choir previously, but found most people a bit conventional for me (absolutely no judgement, there just wasn't a lot of commonality). Would love to find a drawing group, but there's nothing regular in my area. Have also tried the WI but the two groups near me don't have particularly regular events between the monthly meets. I'm also not keen on Bumble BFF as I find a lot of friendships that start off without unplanned interactions peter out quickly. Volunteering, I can't find any you can do in the evening in my area that looks like you'd be able to chat to other volunteers whilst on shift. Some people have suggested board game groups, but I don't like board games enough.

Is there anything at all I could be missing? Aside from the above, I will consider any hobbies that might have a chance of yielding a social circle!

Apologies for the moan, this is me trying my hardest to turn things around.

What kind of area do you live in? City, town or rural?

In a city!

Well, I have just bought a bass recorder to learn. Hope this might lead joining a recorder group or too.
So maybe pick up an instrument? Get some lessons and join a group? Obviously this may be a slightly longer term project if you don’t already play an instrument…..or five.

Hopefully you live somewhere with more recorder groups than I do (i.e. zero)

Bass recorder is a great instrument!

@BassoContinuo Im really looking forward to giving a try, fingers are crossed that a couple of groups that are reasonably near will accept me. They say beginners are welcome!!!
Failing that - maybe attempt to just see if there are any other recorder players locally that fancy a bit of fun setting up a group?!

Acting classes or drumming groups might be fun

Have you heard of rock choir? Partners aunt does it. Looks like fun. Mix of people from all ages and backgrounds and they rehearse and go round local events singing rock/pop songs.

Some running shops have their own running groups and the ones I used to go to went for drinks afterwards. Park runs in a city can be friendly and a good place to meet people.

Creative writing groups always attract interesting people. They meetings can be weekly and sometimes in pubs.

As an aside, good luck with your marathon training! I've done 3 myself and the training days can be a bit flexible? Provided you do the runs especially the long mileage building one.

Paint balling or laser tag or something similar.

Ah yes, I have heard of rock choir! I'll have a look at that thanks.

I did actually try a creative writing group a couple of weeks ago. Despite the fact it met in a pub though, the second the session itself finished everyone left! I couldn't believe it!

And thanks, I'm trying to allow for a bit of flexibility with the training if the right group comes up.

Some people have suggested board game groups, but I don't like board games enough.

OP has stated she doesn't like them enough?!