Maternity Leave Equivalent (Wild Speculation)

[NeonSoda]

So I was wildly speculating with a friend last night, and I said that I thought it would be wonderful if child-free people could have the same 52 week x £172 benefit given as maternity leave, but without having to have a child.

If that was something you could opt to receive, as a childfree person, what would you do with your 52 weeks of subsidised break from full-time employment?

(NB - the condition here is that you cannot do your job for those 52 weeks and also receive the money, just like a person on maternity leave can't.)

@KimberleyClark I really feel for women who wanted children but that didn't happen for them... however the fantasy of maternity leave is not the reality. You can say things like 'there are many who would have loved the opportunity' but you honestly don't know. I tore front to back.. couldn't even sit, just had to lie down all the time for months, got pnd and fantasised about killing myself every day for 24hrs for 6 months.. yes its wonderful I have my son from it... but we need to be kind to each other not belittle each others struggles. Maternity leave is there to prevent women from being exploited due to their biology. Its there to protect babies and make sure they have a good start in life. To compare it to a holiday or get misty eyed about what a lovely time it could have been is missing the entire point and is unfair.. and is obviously going to upset many people. And women fought hard for these protections in the law. Look at the plight of working class women in America.. some who have to go back to work days after a birth still bleeding from it.. where funnily enough in many places they are also rolling back abortion rights and sex education and access to contraception... you know what its about. Controlling women via their biology. Taking them out of the workforce to be mothers and completely financially controlled by men. Its dangerous to compare maternity leave to a holiday because its the type of comparison that allows our rights to be eroded.

The very first paragraph of the OP says:

So I was wildly speculating with a friend last night, and I said that I thought it would be wonderful if child-free people could have the same 52 week x £172 benefit given as maternity leave, but without having to have a child.

Of course it was started to be goady about mat leave. That's why I (and others) posted. There was no need to make it about mat leave at all.

I am not belittling how hard maternity leave can be at all. Nor do I wish to reduce mothers’ rights in the workplace. But, you know, childless women have lives too.

Maybe it was posted to be goady. Or maybe it was posted as a comparator to mat leave because its a quick shorthand for a situation most people understand so it's a useful senario setting without masses of explanations about how it would work

You appear to have choosen to believe that the OP had negative intentions, unless you are in her head you cannot possible know that it was started to be goady.

Show me the part where she suggests reducing mat leave provision.

It’s a comparator. Had she said “I thought it’d be wonderful if childfree people got a year of paid leave and a guaranteed job to go back to, to pursue something they’d love to do” - you still would’ve had parents coming in and saying we were co-opting mat leave entitlement when we haven’t suffered and don’t need time off, that allowing this would give us an unfair advantage etc etc.

Trust me - nobody wants parents on here getting annoyed and derailing our threads. This board isn’t for you and we’re all heartily sick of having to word things delicately to try and protect the feelings of people this board isn’t even for. We’ve asked twice to get the board out of active - that’s how little we want to goad people. And I honestly believe it doesn’t matter how we phrase things - every thread has at least one parent having a go at us, the board, why we’re even discussing something - it’s exhausting.

I couldn’t produce the next generation despite my best efforts. Sorry about that.

Are you being ironic, or just nasty on a thread where people have already mentioned their infertility?

I'm genuinely shocked how utterly nasty and thoughtless some of the posters are on this thread. And despite all the accusations being thrown at them, it's not the childfree posters who are the ones being judgemental, goady or nasty.

It really is. It’s open to parents to hide the board if they don’t want to see it.

Seriously there is no need for that shit. No one has children to provide others with care in their old age,

@KimberleyClark yes of course they do! But what has that got to do with maternity leave? Why has maternity leave been dragged into this? As though its directly equivalent to a holiday.
Women didn't win any rights by standing against each other. Its not coincidence that the countries in the world with the best maternity laws also enjoy the highest rates of equality between the sexes. Its not just about women with children. You can face discrimination simply for being a woman and people assuming you could possibly one day fall pregnant. If there are clear laws preventing business from putting any women at a disadvantage due to thier biology that helps ALL women.

My seven dead foetuses apologise for not being around to wipe your bum when you’re old.

I’ll be paying for my own care, and would always have done that. I would never have expected my putative children to do it for me. If that’s been your motivation for having children, I feel rather sorry for them.

There was a thread on AIBU on this topic this week where it was generally acknowledged that this is something that is only said to childless women, and that parents do not have children to provide the state with care workers (for themselves or for the benefit of others).

Nobody is denying that we need the next generations but you’re not superior to other women because you’re providing them.

@ColleenDonaghy that isnt WHY most women have children but yeah its an outcome tho.. its like some people don't understand these babies are in fact human beings who will grow up to be the next generation... so it benefits all of society to work together to make sure all children have the best start in life.. by not being ripped away from their mothers at days old and placed in care settings instead. Maternity leave is important for the babies and as a result all of us.
Theres also plenty of value brought to society by women who do not have children too. Its just different.. its not some sort of privilege that we shoukd factor in the needs of babies and new mothers. It benefits us all and certainly benefits the status of all women.

by not being ripped away from their mothers at days old and placed in care settings instead.

What a good job there is literally no one on the thread suggesting this happens then 🙄

its like some people don't understand these babies are in fact human beings who will grow up to be the next generation... so it benefits all of society to work together to make sure all children have the best start in life.. by not being ripped away from their mothers at days old and placed in care settings instead

I really don’t know how many more times I can tell you that nobody here is suggesting this, and you’re having an argument with yourself.

Hey @MNHQ, can we add this thread to the existing pile of evidence that this board needs to be removed from active, please?

The banner is quite clearly having absolutely no effect.

@Neitheronethingnortheother I am clearly not saying that anyone on this thread was actively saying that.. but in my pp I have explained why I think suggesting maternity leave is some type of holiday is an idea that feeds into a rollback of womens rights and can lead to this.. like it does in the US. I genuinely do not think anyone on this thread is suggesting we get rid of maternity leave but I do think there are those who haven't thought it through.. the implications of comparing maternity leave to a sabbatical as though it isnt a necessity

I hope you weren’t one of the mothers telling us that only they had empathy on one of our threads the other day.

the implications of comparing maternity leave to a sabbatical as though it isnt a necessity

What a good job no one has suggested maternity leave isn't a necessity then

You are making up arguments in your head with comments no one has actually made

No one, literally no one, is suggesting rolling back womens rights. Just you.

Suggesting an addition to people's rights by using an existing right as a comparator isn't taking anything away from anyone else. It's just suggesting an addition.

What do you want me to do about it? I did try really hard, I promise. I’m happy for whoever wants children to have them. But I am no less of a woman, or less important, than any mother, because none of my foetuses lived. Nor would I have been had I chosen never to have children.

I will also have racked up 40 years of public sector work by the time I retire. Not a bad contribution to society, I hope. And actually a lot longer a commitment than raising a child to 18.

You have actually come on this thread to berate a women who has had multiple miscarriages for not provincial an addition to the workforce 😮

Fucking hell, that's low