Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

I attended all-girl grammars in the 60s and early 70s and while a few of the teachers were Mrs So and So the vast majority went by Miss - Miss Cook, Miss Babb, Miss Wakeford etc etc. I have no idea if the misses were really married and/or had children but it didn't matter - with a couple of exceptions they were all devoted educationalists. Isn't that what a parent should want for their children?

She had that attitude and works in a school?

It gets worse.

Oh bloody hell I forgot the worst bit she said!!!

When I asked what she meant by not being able to trust them...

She said that when you have a baby you get a mother's instinct to protect the children at all costs and that you don't have it unless you've carried and given birth to a new life and brought it into the world. She said it was some sort of mother's superpower and once you had it you'd always do anything you had to to protect little children, even if it meant dying for them.

I did actually nearly walk out right there and then. I pointed out that I'd saved my DN's life by throwing myself in front of a car for her a few weeks before and that I'd be really hurt if a parent thought I wouldn't care for the kids I taught and protect them from danger just because I never had the opportunity to have a child myself.

We must have changed the topic at some point!

Bloody hell, so she wouldn’t have been comfortable with adoptive parents either? It really is all about a functioning uterus with some people, isn’t it?

I think I would have walked out, you're obviously more patient and forgiving than me!

@All2Well if she's your BF I'd hate to neet your enemies, what a thoughtless cow

She said that when you have a baby you get a mother's instinct to protect the children at all costs and that you don't have it unless you've carried and given birth to a new life and brought it into the world. She said it was some sort of mother's superpower

One of those caring empathetic mothers again. Or an absolute loon. 'Mother's superpower'? How does she account for mothers who abuse and kill their children, then? and why does she think a teacher would have to do anything to protect a child at all costs?

I dunno about this 'childbirth rewires your brain to make you more caring' stuff. It seems to rewire some people to go batshit and come out with stuff like that.

She was my best friend at the time but I wouldn't say we've been as close since that day and now her kids are older she probably looks back and sees that as a brain fart moment that she regrets. She wasn't supportive of me wanting to adopt or foster and kept pushing me to seek medical solutions (invasive and unethical ones!) so yes I guess she only sees biological motherhood as the real deal...but I'm only realising that after getting it down on paper here and remembering she was the only person who didn't have a happy reaction when I mentioned adoption...and seemed relieved when I stopped pursuing it.

She sounds like a frenemy.

@All2Well It’s also sanctimonious nonsense - the instinct to die to protect your own kids is part of evolutionary biology, and dying to protect someone else’s kids, leaving yours without a parent, goes against that principle.

She sounds utterly dreadful.

@All2Well My word, I'm so sorry you had to face that. She sounds truly awful. That is definitely a relationship that I'd probably have ditched. Hell, I think pre-kids I'd have ditched someone who just said, "You can't possibly be as tired as a parent." Come to think of it, I'd probably still ditch someone who said that to/about someone else! And that's MINOR in comparison.

That Christmas thread has made me think what a lovely Christmas thread we can have, about all the brilliant things we can do at Christmas without kids ruining them.

I wanted to start a Christmas thread about everyone's plans but I was worried we would get invaded by people telling us we are doing it wrong

Well, if we do, we’ll tell them to fuck off.

You must have amazing reserves of self control. I'd have ripped her head off.

Between now and Christmas Eve my place is full of tears and tantrums among the nursing staff and some of the junior doctors who have the same entitled, selfish attitude.

It gets tedious.

I like your style.

Between now and Christmas Eve my place is full of tears and tantrums among the nursing staff and some of the junior doctors who have the same entitled, selfish attitude

I read that entire thread about parents having Christmas off and thanked my lucky stars I've always worked in places that either close for Christmas or have a skeleton staff between Christmas and NY. I've always said those few days are the ones when you can get some real work done (and bunk off early because no managers are in).

We see this with mothers of sons not respecting female-only spaces and expecting little girls to change in front of boys e.g. at the swimming pool. Parents are wired to care for their children, not all children, which sets up a conflict of interest when it comes to child safeguarding. It's my view that school DSLs should be childless or childfree women to prevent any conflict of interest.

DH had one today...

He's recently promoted and on a leadership course. One of the quips from the trainer (I know her, she tells you all about her children within a milisecond of meeting her) was that the parents in the room would naturally be better at leading and inspiring others. So obviously he'll be shit at his job cos he doesn't have kids.

DH is going to make sure his feedback form is reflective of this!

Amazing how the trainer would seem to be a shit trainer, coming out with comments like that, despite having the leadership superpower of having children.

Wonder if it ever crosses her alleged mind that most of the absolutely craptastic politicians and bosses in the world are also parents ...

Over on the "childfree places you'd pay for" thread somebody has arrived to tell the Op that allowing not having children to define you is just as pathetic as allowing having children to define you.

Completely ignoring all the parents posting on the topic who would also pay for child free spaces.

That poster specifically posted on that thread as a parent to tell all us CFers how sad we are wanting tohave things without children, so if anyone was defining herself by parenthood or lack of it, it was her.

Her post has been deleted now.

I'm happy to define myself as childfree so I really couldn't care less what she thinks about that.

I'm happy enjoying my peaceful life with plenty of time and money to do the things I enjoy. 😌

I congratulate your husband on his restraint - I don't think I could have waited for the feedback form.

parents in the room would naturally be better at leading and inspiring others

Two names

Boris Johnson
Liz Truss

Nuff said

The trainer must have been taking lessons from Andrea Leadsom.