Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

My favourite so far is "oh well you'll want them once you meet the right man". I have never wanted them and at that point was in my thirties so plenty of time to consider the options! It just smacks of 'aww look at the silly little woman thinking she knows her own mind, we'll soon get a man in to put her right.'

And not so much anymore, but in my younger years the assumption that I must be a lesbian seemed to go hand in hand with finding out that I didn't want children?! Baffling.

Middle aged women are universally despised, it’s not just on mumsnet. Too ugly, old and dried up to be desirable and decorative, and not vulnerable and infirm enough to be controlled. Start with the witch hunts in the 17th century and work forwards from there to the age of the TERF.

Yeah, but you’d hope that Mumsnet would be better than that considering the demographic.

Internalised misogyny is the best kind though, innit.

BRB off to volunteer to work Christmas so I can be miserable while people with kids can have the day off 👍

So you should @SoRainbowRhythms. After all, their kids will be looking after you when you’re old. It’s only fair you prioritise them now.

Saw a health campaign today I think it was for prostate cancer
Tagline was Save a Dad.

The Christmas Leave thread has actually horrified me. I’m sure some of them must be trolling for laughs, because surely nobody can be that entitled?!

Sadly, I work with people exactly like this in real life.

Stand your ground @fitzwilliamdarcy You can always rant on here And i hope you have a fabulous Christmas doing what YOU want to do.

These comments are just absolutely shocking! Disclaimer I do have kids- so prob shouldn’t be on this board! Ithink the general chit chat of married? Children? Etc is ok, but if you say no the conversation should move on, not why? Or any of the shocking comments here! Either you have chosen not to have kids - in which case butt out, or you are currently having fertility treatment (as in my case) which is personal and distressing, or you have tried to and for whatever reason it never worried out and you are incredibly sad about that ( li have friends in this category) an some of these remarks would really hurt, but your heartache over many miscarriages isn’t something you share with any Tom dick or harry is it

The caring I'mSoMuchMoreEmpatheticAndCaringBecauseI'mAParent posters are out in full force on that thread, aren't they? along with the obligatory ageism and 'childhaters.'

It's surprisingly early in the year for them to be out too, some years I think we manage to make it past halloween

There will be a few more before Christmas I have no doubt!

Incidentally, this thing about Christmas being 'for parents to be with their children'....DF was in the Merchant Navy. He died when I was 13 and I can recall ONE Christmas when he was at home and not at sea. (There were probably others, TBF). DBs and I suffered no major trauma. I think he made up for it with lots of presents when he came home. That was in the 60s though, years before Christmas started after August BH was out of the way.

I don’t know when Christmas became quite so child-centric as it is now. I had lovely Christmases growing up, but it was about the whole family - particularly the oldest generation - rather than being all about the kids.

Same with me. We'd travel to London to see the DGPs, there'd be aunts and uncles, cousins and a couple of great aunts around, usually staying. Luckily GPs had a house that could take all those people.

I avoided the Christmas Leave thread because I knew it would bring out MN’s worst.

Some of the people on MN genuinely seem to believe the world revolves around them and their kids. And can’t comprehend when people say that it doesn’t.

I’ve never understood parents entitlement to have Christmas off with their kids. You chose to work a job that requires Christmas working. Work it. There are many jobs that don’t. Get one of them if it’s vital that you’re off on Christmas.

why does it blow some peoples minds that people without kids also want to enjoy Christmas?

As someone who referenced Christmas early on in this thread, I completely hear you @CleverLilViper and others . I was on it for a bit, but the plaintive wailing of, "but Christmas is about the children" was exhausting. I'd love to know how all those women are going to feel when their children suddenly don't see them because they're working at Christmas or have their own families.

Ugh.

I've just read all that thread. I've found the "But Kiddies! Magic! Empathy!" posts sort of point-and-laugh material, they're so ridiculous. Just writing that took me straight back to the Grotto scene in Hogfather:

The Grotto took up nearly all of the first floor. One of the pixies had been Disciplined for smoking behind the Magic Tinkling Waterfall, and the clockwork Dolls of All Nations showing how We Could All Get Along were a bit jerky and giving trouble but all in all, he told himself, it was a display to Delight the Hearts of Kiddies everywhere.

The Kiddies were queuing up with their parents and watching the display owlishly.

And the money was coming in. Oh, how the money was coming in.

So that the staff would not be Tempted, Mr. Crumley had set up an arrangement of overhead wires across the ceilings of the store. In the middle of each floor was a cashier in a little cage. Staff took money from customers, put it in a little clockwork cable car, sent it whizzing overhead to the cashier, who’d make change and start it rattling back again. Thus there was no possibility of Temptation, and the little trolleys were shooting back and forth like fireworks.

Mr. Crumley loved Hogswatch. It was for the Kiddies, after all.

By my best friend...

"I'm not too happy with Tommy's Reception teacher...I don't think she'll
really get it, if he doesn't settle...if you see what I mean..."

I didn't know what she meant.

"Well you see, maybe it's my own issue. She's not a mummy and I just feel there are certain things you don't get unless you're a mother. I don't really trust teachers who aren't mummies, to be honest, I think they're a bit weird..." tinkly laugh.

She knew that I was a childless teacher, and at that point in a deep depression, having suicidal thoughts due to the prospect of never having much wanted children.

I must have looked like I was going to cry, because she very quickly said,

"Oh God I'm not talking about YOU!!! You teach secondary anyway not little ones and you WANT to be a mummy. You're just not mummy right now. But when you are you'll get it, trust me! Isn't that right Baby Tina?! Yes it is, you tell Auntie All2Well!!! There.Are.Some.Things.You.Can't.Know.Until.You're.A....MUMMY!!! What a clever girl!!! Do you want a hold hun?"

So hurtful. And for the most part thankfully a one off.

@All2Well Jesus. I hope she is no longer a friend?

What a fucking bitch.

I'm a childfree primary teacher and dread thus type of parent.

Just out of interest, how does she know that the teacher doesn't have children? Surely that's none of her business?

The Christmas thread is awful. More than the notion that Christmas is only for children, I hate the implication that child-free people should only have Christmas off if they have elderly relatives for whom it might be the last one.

Fuck that.

Christmas is just me, DP and the dog. The house is like a grotto. We spend hundreds and hundreds on presents for each other. We spend hundreds and hundreds on food and drink. We do treasure hunts. We play games. We watch films. We read books. We have Christmas clothes. Christmas in our house is magical - no children or elderly parents in sight (that's maybe why its magical, LOL)

We're still friends as it was a sort of one off and as her kids are now much older her identity is less centred around being a "mummy" than she used to be, so we've actually got closer again.

She knew the teacher didn't have children because she was a fellow staff member at the school and asked her. She was an NQT in her early twenties so not all that unusual for a woman at that age and stage in life to not have children regardless of whether she wanted them or not!