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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

914 replies

derekdied · 09/07/2023 18:54

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

OP posts:
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16
Idrankyourbananamilk · 13/10/2023 16:43

Liverpool52 · 13/10/2023 12:43

See also "childless people don't know the difference between a baby and a child".

This did grind my gears somewhat but I’m trying not to engage.

musixa · 13/10/2023 16:45

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/10/2023 13:24

Both Cambridge and Merriam-Webster define child as 'from birth to puberty' and United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child as 'everyone under 18 unless "under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier".'

So ain't us not knowing the difference because there isn't one.

"Children" can even refer to adults, where it's being used to denote someone's grown-up offspring.

SoRainbowRhythms · 13/10/2023 16:47

musixa · 13/10/2023 16:45

"Children" can even refer to adults, where it's being used to denote someone's grown-up offspring.

Show quote history

My brother and I are well into our 30s and are still referred to as "the weans"!

musixa · 13/10/2023 18:10

Guessing you are Scottish!

IKnowHowToSayMyName · 15/10/2023 17:47

We're getting a right old beating up on the 'as a mother' thread!

We have parents telling us what to think and what the phrase really means, and everything.

daliesque · 15/10/2023 18:03

Don't forget that giving birth re-wires a brain but our major life events have no impact.....

As for the only parents know what it's like to be childfree because they were for 5 mins of adulthood before becoming a parent 🤷‍♀️🙈🙄

LoobyDop · 16/10/2023 12:54

As for the only parents know what it's like to be childfree because they were for 5 mins of adulthood before becoming a parent

I think you can reasonably claim that if you were over 40 when you had your first- it means you probably had a good ten years of watching everyone around you drop like flies. If you were under 35, definitely not. And under 30, it just underlines how little clue there is.

JenniferBooth · 16/10/2023 17:16

And on the latest council house thread im yet again seeing the assumption that you dont need more than one room unless you have kids

LoobyDop · 16/10/2023 19:05

Well that’s bollocks. We’ve got four and they’re all being used- a bedroom each because we don’t sleep well together, an office and a dressing room. We could actually use a 5th, as my office is in an alcove on the landing rather than an enclosed room.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 16/10/2023 19:09

I'm always intrigued by this use of the word 'need' that gets thrown about so lavishly when deciding what the lifestyle of total strangers should be - is there some sort of list of rules somewhere that they consult? I hope the ones who decide what we 'need' aren't living in houses with more bedrooms than family members - that would be hypocritical

LoobyDop · 16/10/2023 19:13

Well, exactly. Nobody needs more than one bedroom. Large families throughout history, and in many parts of the world now, manage with a single bedroom or a single room.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 16/10/2023 19:23

DB has done our family tree and we have one set of ancestors in the NE living in two rooms complete with children and pauper FIL (presumably that was preferable to the workhouse). A bedroom each? luxury. 😁(not to mention a bathroom rather than a pump in the street).

Principessina · 18/10/2023 21:39

Here’s a comment. Rephrased slightly for anonymity.

There is no reason for you to have that heirloom, you don’t have children to inherit it from you.

Honestly one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me.

Catsmere · 18/10/2023 21:56

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain

A bedroom each? luxury. 😁

Oh great, a Python earworm for the day! 😆

Catsmere · 18/10/2023 21:56

Principessina · 18/10/2023 21:39

Here’s a comment. Rephrased slightly for anonymity.

There is no reason for you to have that heirloom, you don’t have children to inherit it from you.

Honestly one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me.

Bloody hell!

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 17:37

You will burden your family when you're old - said to me a few times

Oh and a friend said losing a parent is much more upsetting once you have children, as you realise what your parents did for you. So according to them, not having my own children means losing my parents won't be so upsetting.

Flanksteak · 21/10/2023 18:11

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 17:37

You will burden your family when you're old - said to me a few times

Oh and a friend said losing a parent is much more upsetting once you have children, as you realise what your parents did for you. So according to them, not having my own children means losing my parents won't be so upsetting.

How can you be a burden on your family and all alone and sad and regretful and lonely? Makes no sense.

I have no words for the second part but I'm sorry someone said that to you.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/10/2023 18:34

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 17:37

You will burden your family when you're old - said to me a few times

Oh and a friend said losing a parent is much more upsetting once you have children, as you realise what your parents did for you. So according to them, not having my own children means losing my parents won't be so upsetting.

You will burden your family when you're old

How, given that they will all be dead? Parents might burden their kids though.

KimberleyClark · 23/10/2023 16:19

There are some crackers on the working Christmas thread right now. “If you don’t have kids Christmas is just another day”.

LoobyDop · 23/10/2023 16:23

I’ve just chipped in my valuable thoughts on that.

LorraineInSpain · 23/10/2023 16:41

That Christmas thread is appalling.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 23/10/2023 16:43

Can’t say I’m shocked by it. I work with people who are like this in real life - I’ve heard it all.

LoobyDop · 23/10/2023 16:48

I particularly liked the one that felt the need to add “middle aged woman” to her example, to really emphasise the difference between the magic-experiencing six year old and the hideous, worthless old cow, who couldn’t even produce a dying parent to justify her statutory leave entitlement.

Isthisexpected · 23/10/2023 16:48

Puzzles me how so many people are utterly incapable of grasping that procreation and parent hood are not some sort of compulsory default state.

^ I do think it's arrogant to assume that parenting involves a feeling of drudgery for everyone.

LorraineInSpain · 23/10/2023 16:51

LoobyDop · 23/10/2023 16:48

I particularly liked the one that felt the need to add “middle aged woman” to her example, to really emphasise the difference between the magic-experiencing six year old and the hideous, worthless old cow, who couldn’t even produce a dying parent to justify her statutory leave entitlement.

It does puzzle me how much middle-aged women are despised on here, even ignoring the parent / non parent debate.

After all, I think MN is still a mainly female site, so most posters are middle aged women, have been middle aged women or will be middle aged women in the future!