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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

The official Childfree on MN bingo card

643 replies

ItsNotRocketSalad · 29/06/2023 23:44

We have 24 squares to fill. What lines get trotted out on every thread that discusses the child free?

My suggestions:

  1. You'll need my children to be your carers when you're old
  2. Only parents understand real love
  3. Childfree people shouldn't take annual leave in school holidays
OP posts:
Thread gallery
42
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/07/2023 09:07

I don't care who started it or what it was originally about, Incey and people rebutting Incey, please stop derailing the thread.

I have forgotten people's original bingo squares because of all the intervening "you said blah", "no, I said blergh" noise, so some of mine will be duplicates.

  • "Pets aren't the same, y'know" (Erm, I know that, that's why I have Dcat but no kids.)
  • "Oh, I bet your house is so tidy!" (I survey the bomb site that is my living room and weep.)
  • "You'll change your mind some day." (I'm over 40.)
  • "Don't you want to give your parents grandchildren?" (I recall the worse bomb site that is my dad's house and shudder.)
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/07/2023 09:11

We've had 'my kids are going to be wiping your bum when you're old!' haven't we? I bite my tongue on the riposte that it's a shame you have no higher ambition for your children than low paid care work after that education my taxes paid for (FTR I think carers do a bloody good job and are massively underappreciated and definitely underpaid, but if I had children I wouldn't urge them into care work).

musixa · 01/07/2023 09:14

SideWonder · 30/06/2023 19:21

I would have thought at a population level women without children are bigger net contributors from a tax perspective than women with children anyway (appreciate individual experiences will vary).

I know I am.

So, if the children being born now stay healthy, are productive, and earn enough to pay tax - because not all of them will - I am paying for their health & education their parents' maternity/paternity eaves, and free hours of childcare etc etc etc etc.

Good that they'll pay me back by being the tax payers of the future.

On threads about private vs state education, there are often comments that people who educate their children privately should get a tax reduction. They tend to go quiet if you point out that the childfree would then be entitled to the same concession.

(For avoidance of doubt I am perfectly happy for my taxes to fund education).

TitoMojito · 01/07/2023 09:59

I think the tiredness argument is stupid. I don’t know what having children is like. I'm sure it's brutal (part of why I'm not having any lol). The point is that if someone is having a rough time, is knackered, is clearly struggling for whatever reason, you DON'T turn around and say "well you don’t know what tiredness is because you don’t have children." That's just really inconsiderate and unnecessary. You're just making them feel worse for no reason. Don’t be that person.

coeurnoir · 01/07/2023 10:26

Yes, I think that defining women by whether or not they have children undermines feminism very effectively.
I quite agree.

So I presume you are going onto other threads and telling the women who define themselves by their ability and decision to reproduce the same thing then?

InceyWinceySpidy · 01/07/2023 10:29

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/07/2023 09:07

I don't care who started it or what it was originally about, Incey and people rebutting Incey, please stop derailing the thread.

I have forgotten people's original bingo squares because of all the intervening "you said blah", "no, I said blergh" noise, so some of mine will be duplicates.

  • "Pets aren't the same, y'know" (Erm, I know that, that's why I have Dcat but no kids.)
  • "Oh, I bet your house is so tidy!" (I survey the bomb site that is my living room and weep.)
  • "You'll change your mind some day." (I'm over 40.)
  • "Don't you want to give your parents grandchildren?" (I recall the worse bomb site that is my dad's house and shudder.)

It's ok that you don't care. I do care that people literally make things up to pretend they were attacked when they categorically weren't, irrespective of the subject.

However, genuine question to you, because this is one thing I have never understood. It does not apply to the majority of child free posters. I certainly see the discrimination they face, on a pretty bizarre basis that they have simply made a different lifestyle choice.

I don't get the fury and outrage when it is suggested a child free person, does not know what it is to have a child, when it's true...I will eleborate...

I've never been bungee jumping. I hate heights. I have nightmares that usually involve falling from a height. I know I would be petrified. I certainly know I don't want to do it. People that have done it rave about it. I don't need to do it to know I'll hate it, I already know it's not for me.

But, if someone said, you don't know the feeling you get when you bungee jump, that is true.

I can make similarities and say, I've felt the speed of a roller coaster, and hated it. I've been on vertical drop rides and hated it. I've been on high bridges and hated it. All things that have elements you could identify within bungee jumping. But I will still never know the feeling. And good, I don't want too...but it still never changes the fact I don't and won't ever know it.

So, when someone says, "you don't know the joy of having a child", there are a minority of posters who immediately jump on this weird bandwagon of "oh, so I can't feel joy then?" When it's very clear that's not what's been said at all. A child free person doesn't know the joy/stress/wonderment/horror insert whatever of having a child. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. But it doesn't change they haven't experienced it, so why the uproar when this very simple concept is pointed out? Genuine question, I would like to understand.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 01/07/2023 10:32

@InceyWinceySpidy, can you start a thread in Chat or AIBU to ask that question please? It’s not for this board and you’re derailing our bingo card thread.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 10:38

Please start your own thread elsewhere @InceyWinceySpidy.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 01/07/2023 10:39

The best way to get derailers to stop is to ignore them. They crave attention so enjoy being told off.

Oblahbla · 01/07/2023 10:41

Here's a picture of a goat. Isn't he great?

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 01/07/2023 10:45

I see your goat, and I raise you

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
InceyWinceySpidy · 01/07/2023 10:46

Not a problem, I can certainly do so, I felt that asking a question regarding how child free people view something would be appropriately sited on the child free threads...but evidently not.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 10:47

Love the goats!

I found out the other day that Pallax cats rest their paws on their tails when it’s super duper cold.

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/07/2023 10:50

I prefer cats to goats

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/07/2023 10:55

InceyWinceySpidy · 01/07/2023 10:29

It's ok that you don't care. I do care that people literally make things up to pretend they were attacked when they categorically weren't, irrespective of the subject.

However, genuine question to you, because this is one thing I have never understood. It does not apply to the majority of child free posters. I certainly see the discrimination they face, on a pretty bizarre basis that they have simply made a different lifestyle choice.

I don't get the fury and outrage when it is suggested a child free person, does not know what it is to have a child, when it's true...I will eleborate...

I've never been bungee jumping. I hate heights. I have nightmares that usually involve falling from a height. I know I would be petrified. I certainly know I don't want to do it. People that have done it rave about it. I don't need to do it to know I'll hate it, I already know it's not for me.

But, if someone said, you don't know the feeling you get when you bungee jump, that is true.

I can make similarities and say, I've felt the speed of a roller coaster, and hated it. I've been on vertical drop rides and hated it. I've been on high bridges and hated it. All things that have elements you could identify within bungee jumping. But I will still never know the feeling. And good, I don't want too...but it still never changes the fact I don't and won't ever know it.

So, when someone says, "you don't know the joy of having a child", there are a minority of posters who immediately jump on this weird bandwagon of "oh, so I can't feel joy then?" When it's very clear that's not what's been said at all. A child free person doesn't know the joy/stress/wonderment/horror insert whatever of having a child. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. But it doesn't change they haven't experienced it, so why the uproar when this very simple concept is pointed out? Genuine question, I would like to understand.

When people say to us "you don't know the feeling that comes from having kids", there's a subtext that we are missing out and another subtext that we aren't permitted to have an opinion on child welfare, education, or any of the other things that affected us when we were children.

I'm autistic and even I can detect those subtexts. It's the subtexts that are the problem.

FufferPish · 01/07/2023 10:55

This is my sentiment today

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
FufferPish · 01/07/2023 10:57

fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 10:47

Love the goats!

I found out the other day that Pallax cats rest their paws on their tails when it’s super duper cold.

That is a majestic pussycat!

fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 11:04

@FufferPish Round cats are the best, I don’t make the rules.

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
Oblahbla · 01/07/2023 11:10

Isn't nature wonderful.

KimberleyClark · 01/07/2023 11:17

Another of my doggy nephews

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
FufferPish · 01/07/2023 11:19

fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 11:04

@FufferPish Round cats are the best, I don’t make the rules.

I think the world would probably be very nice of you made the rules. And cats would be overlords.

FufferPish · 01/07/2023 11:21

KimberleyClark · 01/07/2023 11:17

Another of my doggy nephews

you doggy nephew looks like he knows about something ominous. 😀

InceyWinceySpidy · 01/07/2023 11:21

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/07/2023 10:55

When people say to us "you don't know the feeling that comes from having kids", there's a subtext that we are missing out and another subtext that we aren't permitted to have an opinion on child welfare, education, or any of the other things that affected us when we were children.

I'm autistic and even I can detect those subtexts. It's the subtexts that are the problem.

Thank you for your response...I'm going to move this to a different thread, and use this as the start, if that's ok, so please don't think I'm ignoring you.

I'll put it somewhere that's anywhere but here, as some other posters think they get to police other people, and bully or patronise until they push out anyone who doesn't fit their narrative, and the useful information from people like that will be limited anyway. The irony that the very people complaining they aren't permitted an opinion because they aren't part of a certain group, but actively behave exactly the same way...

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 01/07/2023 11:24

FufferPish · 01/07/2023 11:21

you doggy nephew looks like he knows about something ominous. 😀

He's probably heard about your plans to make cats world overlords.

The official Childfree on MN bingo card
fitzwilliamdarcy · 01/07/2023 11:25

Not sure about cat overlords. Their powers are significant and need to be confined.

I reckon golden retrievers would make wonderful leaders.