The curse of Boff. Again.

[BoffinMum]

You are not going to believe this, guys. The lovely temp (and she really is lovely) who came today has had to leave because her mum was rushed into hospital. We don't know if/when she'll be coming back. So we are without childcare again! I am currently in Paris and DH was supposed to be going into work tomorrow because he hasn't been able to get in all week. He has no leave left either. Crikey! Anybody want three lovely children, two with diarrhoea?

Just to be difficult, I am the least posh nanny ever lol, I am covered in tattoos and I once temped for someone that owns a castle - a job that I found myself I might add

Hello Boff

Dear Lord what a stress festival: just reading about it leaves me tired, I can't imagine what is going through your head right now.

I'm also in Cambridge and have tried the DIY route (trying to recruit a full time nanny on a very limited budget). Gumtree, Nannyjob, a couple of online 'aupair' matching services. I can't really recommend it: it generated many waste of time responses and was a lot of work, even though I recruited my first (excellent) nanny that way eventually.

In my experience, the only agency in the region who seems to make any effort at all for parents was Apricot Nannies, based in Bishops Stortford. They sympathised with my plaintive - frankly ill mannered - mutterings about people who were looking for a fat London salary based on very skinny CVs and found me my current nanny who actually fitted the requirements I had set them.

If they can't help you and you find yourself still having problems in May I'm looking for someone who might be interested in a nanny share: could 3 days a week work for you?

i aint posh

though i hate tar with a passion!!!

Another recommendation (from a family member): Hyde Park Nannies, though they are more southerly. But they might well know someone nice. Hope you find something soon Boff!

I'm posh. It does help I hate to say...

I can ride, swim, ski and shoot. My parents are titled and I talk nicely. I call homework prep, always have a (clean, monogrammed) handkerchief and insist on proper manners. These virtues got me interviews and offers from very interesting people but I didn't like them so I told them where to stick their job politely declined.

Anyway, I came on her to pass on some interesting gossip regarding the truth about The Place We Do Not Name - no fewer than 3 of my mother's acquaintances have got shot of their just qualified nanny, most recently the one who behaved very badly on a family ski trip. Stats not looking good for them. I don't usually care what Lady Crumpet is up to but I love my rather gossipy mother at times like these! You're not alone in having these problems, boff, one just can't get the staff nowadays.

Ooooo, Frakkin, tell what happened on the ski trip!!! Sex, drugs or rock n' roll?

BTW if we meet I will make sure I too have a nicely ironed hanky and not a packet of battered Tempo/Handy Andies. Standards must be maintained, methinks. DH always has a ncie hanky, by the way, and as he has an almost all female team of workmates, a lot get given away when they cry ....

Gizmo you are PSYCHIC! I just did exactly that today at the behest of a nanny at DS2's school, and I have to say they were very efficient. However a popular agency I trust more than some of the others has just rung me with details of a great nanny they have just interviewed, who meets all requirements. You never know. BTW if you are near me and our kids are compatible I might be up for a nanny share. Email me at boffinmum dot co dot uk. If nothing else, we would no longer Be Alone In All This.

Sorry, I meant boffinmum at hotmail dot co dot uk. Hsd chocolate for lunch as no time to get sandwich, and now a bit hyperactive.

blondes is very nosey interrested to know what went on, on the skiing trip

was it bed dh swapping

I might share. What's in it for me?

Oooh I heard a similar story this week from a friend who hobnobs with a couple of nannies from The Place We Do Not Name! It would be fairly amusing if it were the same girl LOL.

I think it's a pretty poor state of affairs when the Poshest Nanny School In The Realm churns out such appalling nannies. It just reinforces my opinion that A Piece Of Paper Does Not A Good Nanny Make.

Good luck Boffinmum, Murphy's law suggests you might meet your perfect nanny in the checkout line in Sainsbury's... or some other such random situation. Stop looking for her, let her find you (or Him - you never know )

Wendy Holden satirised this sort of perversity in the nannying world, in Beautiful People, so if you want a fluffy read while waiting for The One, Boff, it's quite fun.

Yes, it's amazing someone hasn't written 'The Rules: How to Tell if Your Nanny is Just Not That Into Childcare' or some other self help bible concerning the acquisition and maintenance of a successful nannying relationship.

Boff, I will email you re nanny share (or even just for coffee - always nice to meet mumsnetters) but I should warn you that it won't start until mid May, when I go on Maternity Leave, and my current nanny share partner has first dibs if she can alter her arrangements to suit a 3 day/2 day split.

Now, this skiing trip sounds interesting...Frakkin' you still there? I can wave a glass of virtual Sauvignon under your nose if that's any incentive?

HoHoHo, I love this thread!

Frakkin, if it is all from this year's cohort then truly awful things are afoot. One of that group has allegedly already been struck off for smacking the children they look after, and three of them have crashed employers' cars.

Now ladies, what is the collective term for a group of nannies, do you think? A flurry of nannies? A clucking of nannies? I ask because there has been great action late afternoon. I have had a sudden influx of possibilities!!! We're interviewing not one but TWO nannies with good CVs this weekend.

Gizmo, I am not sure the nanny share will be for us but coffee sounds good, so let's go for it. Are you near me in Sarf Cambridge?

BoffinMum, you may have to settle for a flock or herd of nannies (actually the correct term for goats but I'm sure it could be stretched to include nannies of the non-goat variety).

Good luck with interviewing your flock...

Seems like a total waste of money to spend at The Unmentionable Place where the fees per term are £!!!. But then I suppose if daddy's paying then it's irrelevent.

Good luck with your interviews.

In your particular case, Boffy, a fickleness, perhaps? An evaporation?
In my case, it would have to be a variance, I think because I have been extremely lucky with some of the nannies we have had but they have been a mixed bunch, it must be said. More good than not good though.

Good luck with the interviews - do report back!

a herd of nannys maybe

beautiful people indeed a good read

and 2 good nannies and cv's eh boffy?

hope interviews go well - did you want me to interegate chat to her?

I found the same things when I registered with the 'posh' agencies. I can swim, ski and ride. Went to boarding school and while Australian I have an odd RP accent thanks to elocution lessons forced on me as a child and actually doing a finishing course. They did not like it though when I said my mother was a nurse and not something more thrilling.
Any posh job offerred I turn down. I like my nice upper middle class family.
Best of luck Boff. I do know someone looking for work but she is not available just yet. Worse case scenario I know someone who can start in June

Well one interview down and one to go. I will report in full later.

ROFL at 'evaporation of nannies'!

Ta for offer Lou. I've actually got a brill former temp who can come back at the beginning for May for a bit if we're still stuck. In fact I fear the kids may take the initiative and hitchhike their way across to her if necessary as they liked her a lot. DS2 reckons 'she was strict Mummy but we got used to that and she was fun and cooked lovely dinners'.

one down and one to go

thats sounds promising - as IF no 1 was awful, you would have said ?

Glad things are going better!

Naughty nanny was caught in flagrante, and 'very involved' (direct quote), with a couple of ski instructors in the living area of the family's chalet when supposed to be babysitting the children. Didn't ask permission to have friends over, which probably would have been denied anyway as employers are extremely straight-laced, didn't have baby monitor with her, possibly didn't do a whole lot of other things. Apparently same nanny had major attitude problems about going away with the family and seemed to expect to spend the family's skiing holiday skiing herself. Same story you heard thenewbornnnany?

I know of one car crash from this years group, wonder if it's the same one or whether that makes 4? Suspect they are trading on the name now and not the quality of their nannies, which is not to say that theor nannies are all bad but that the training isn't producing top-quality nannies any more and they're not weeding out the non-starters very effectively. Possibly because selection seems to be mostly a matter of 'can you afford the fees, rent and other sundries?'

Frakkin, if 'very involved" can be interpreted as her being caught with a ski instructors appendage in her mouth, and the other instructor also enjoying other more southern activities then yes LOLOLOLOL...

I get a lot of gossip from my London nanny friends. Which is great as nothing , and I mean NOTHING happens here in the Netherlands.

Seriously though. Some of the stories I have heard about Nannies From That Establishment make my skin crawl. I know there are nice nannies from there but the overriding evidence based impression I get is that they are all slightly unhinged both psychologically and morally.

And my great aunt was a Proper Nanny back in the day, and says that the collective term is a gaggle

OMG I didn't know it was that involved! Assuming it's the same nanny.