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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

The curse of Boff. Again.

281 replies

BoffinMum · 13/01/2010 17:23

You are not going to believe this, guys. The lovely temp (and she really is lovely) who came today has had to leave because her mum was rushed into hospital. We don't know if/when she'll be coming back. So we are without childcare again! I am currently in Paris and DH was supposed to be going into work tomorrow because he hasn't been able to get in all week. He has no leave left either. Crikey! Anybody want three lovely children, two with diarrhoea?

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Blondeshavemorefun · 23/01/2010 17:28

gaggle, like geese - whata becasue we cackle

and south activites - love it - but BAD nanny, least it wasnt with the dad

thenewbornnanny · 23/01/2010 17:59

If it happened about a week before Xmas then it is the same one. Either that or The Establishment is churning out Nympho Nannies this last couple of years

And yes Blondes it is because we cackle lol

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 23/01/2010 18:01

Crashing the family car doesn't always mean the nanny isn't any good.

My ex bosses Sister had 3 nannies and all 3 crashed the car in the first week and went on to be fabulous with the kids.

frakkinaround · 23/01/2010 18:03

But said nannies are supposed to go on driving courses and it doesn't say a lot about their safety awareness!

No idea when it happened, DM didn't say.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 23/01/2010 18:09

To clarify these nannies weren't from Norland or any other nanny college.

BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 18:42

Fab! We do not speak its name! We do not speak its name! Those are the rules! It is like GF!

at the double whammy (excuse the pun) encountered by the family! What if the kids had seen this?????????? OMG OMG OMG! Plus IMO she's at best naive, and at worst a lazy troll if she thinks she's being paid a wage to effectively go off on holiday herself. I believe the normal practice is to work the same hours and be paid a bit more for the stress of being out of the normal situation, not accept the money and then disappear off to get piste or get pissed, so to speak.

I did catch my brother in the AP's bed one morning many years back, but to be fair they were both 21 and nothing was actually going on at the time I walked in. I made a point of going in there with a cup of tea for him and saying 'Oh, there you are!' to be an annoying big sister and to worry the AP a bit. He always did like French girls, my brother.

WRT that place, I think they've more or less given up screening the applicants to see whether they're employable, and instead it's all about whether the children like them, do they get on with the children, etc etc. Frankly my kids would get on with more or less anyone, including the village paedo, so this is hardly a sole qualification for childcare professionalism. Yes, you don't want the kids recoiling from said person, but at the same time they need to be able to hold down a job and not fart about being a princess. I was considering writing to the Principal but frankly I am not sure I can be arsed to put them straight.

First interview was not brilliant but not all that bad - second interview better and we're having a think. Nobody available for a little while so that's a consideration.

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BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 18:46

DH and I actually wondered if CrappyNanny was actually of the Sapphic Persuasion and hadn't realised yet, but we were never completely sure ...(I used that term talking about someone else to a friend recently, and she frowned and said "The Suffolk Persuasion? What on earth is that?" Oo-ar, LOL!)

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FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 23/01/2010 18:46

Don't see the problem as I wasn't saying anything negative about them.

BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 18:49

So the thread doesn't come up via Google, inviting further scrutiny.

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BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 18:50

Cos some of us were less polite than you about them!

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Missus84 · 23/01/2010 19:17

I have a feeling that maybe girls who can afford to go to very expensive colleges possibly aren't naturally inclined to work... Much more motivation to stay in a job if you haven't got the bank of dad to fall back on.

I wonder if some go into it because they think they'll have a lovely time baking cakes and making sock puppets and then are rather shocked to find they have an employer who demands things of them

BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 19:36

Missus, that certainly had the chilling ring of truth about it.

But I don't think that attitude is confined to privately trained nannies, tbh.

I hope no sock puppets were involved in Gstaad or wherever it was. Probably only trouser snakes,

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WingedVictory · 23/01/2010 20:06

thenewbornnanny, are you saying there were two ski instructors_atonce?

Missus84 · 23/01/2010 20:19

Known as a "spitroast" and much favoured by footballers...

WingedVictory · 23/01/2010 20:35

Kerrrr-ist.

Now, that would have been an eyeful for children .

Hope they sent her bum-skiing down the mountain with no clothes on. That sort of thing... while being paid... well, it's fraud, if it isn't stealing.

I'd like to clarify that I don't read the DM!

BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 20:41

DH also knew the technical term.
How come all the blokes knew about this and we didn't?

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thenewbornnanny · 23/01/2010 20:43

I have already said too much according to an email I received from a concerned party.

(It appears the walls have eyes.)

BoffinMum · 23/01/2010 20:47

Well, we shall keep it amongst ourselves.

Isn't it funny how when people behave badly like that people are concerned about hushing it up and being discreet ... one bit of me thinks that such behaviour does not deserve discretion, if it's true, of course.

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thenewbornnanny · 23/01/2010 20:53

Oh I know, the concerned party is actually the one who told me in a big gossipy round robin email so tbh I am a little peeved at her telling me off about saying anything here. Also now I know she is on here too I will have to watch what I say

I should add the concerned party is also a product of That Establishment, and so has a vested interest in keeping it under wraps despite her being the one to spread it round our circle of friends first.

Anyway, I know she will read this. And be p*ssed off. Apologies but, really, people in glass houses and all that.

WingedVictory · 23/01/2010 21:09

"Isn't it funny how when people behave badly like that people are concerned about hushing it up and being discreet ... one bit of me thinks that such behaviour does not deserve discretion, if it's true, of course."

Only one bit of you thinks that? I suppose if someone is young, s/he may reform if s/he is given the chance. However, it's gutting to think that they might not understand "chances", just getting away with things. At what point to people stop being pulled up on crap behaviour? I have often been astonished by the behaviour of some of my colleagues, thinking: "how did s/he get to this point without being challenged?"

Rant over. Another glass of wine, I think , and perhaps some popcorn. Anyone want any?

frakkinaround · 24/01/2010 07:58

Well if you friend is indeed on here tnn then she'll know I mentioned it first so it was already out.

Apparently employers were contacted by Said Establishment and were less than impressed with the response they received. Nanny will be appropriately sanctioned as far as the college can go but she'll still be qualified with her original qualification and they won't retract the written reference they did about her training . How many employers will actually check a ref on headed apper from The Place We Do Not Name? Because all their nannies are fabulous, no?

It's not yet midday here, may I have wine?

WingedVictory · 24/01/2010 10:25

Sorry, frakkinaround, that bottle is empty. I can open you another one!

Here.

U (big glass, sorry no stem)

BoffinMum · 24/01/2010 11:05

F Hell, my first reaction is that if they are letting her get away with that and not striking her off, then their endorsements are not worth the paper they are written on. I am wondering if this was why CrappyNanny turned up with a good reference and then turned out to be so rubbish.

A bit of me feels like a mug for believing their publicity and giving them money, and another bit of me is reminding myself this is only internet gossip (albeit lovely juicy gossip) so I should not beat myself up over it too much, as things are usually more complicated than they first appear.

It's difficult. DH pointed out there are two sides to every story, but I replied that as far as I was concerned, there were four sides to this story and three of them were guilty in my eyes. But I think this girl probably has never been pulled into line properly in her life, and I even wonder if there is a dodgy family background there as well (did she witness one of her parents up to extra marital derring-do on the sofa when she was a child, for example? We will never know).

The sad fact of the matter is that these days, expensive educational establishments appear to attract the rich, dysfunctional elements of society, as they have become more rarified than they ever were. So the children can be very spoiled and sometimes secretly very distressed. For example I once taught the children of a seriously up there peer of the realm who flushed their packed lunches down the loo, for example, and then when we probed about their apparent anorexia, described their father's anger management problems in frightening technicolour. I dealt with another situation where a child from a very normal family witnessed his classmate being smashed in the face and given a nosebleed by his father in the family Bentley on a day out (had to call social services that time). Abuse and appalling behaviour is by no means confined to the working classes (and the Government would be more successful in tackling it if it realised this).

There is probably also a very interesting general point to be made about certain members of this generation and their idea of a sense of entitlement as opposed to a sense of duty. When I started work I was always anxious to give a bit more value to my employers than they were paying for, and I was also mindful of the need to behave ethically. I got a lot of things wrong at times, things that make me feel a bit embarrassed now, but ultimately I gave it my best shot. I am not sure the amount of effort I put into this really equates to what I am seeing from some newly qualified young employees today. I honestly believe that they think they are trying really hard, but they are misjudging the requirements incredibly badly and probably only delivering about 50% of what is expected. That is a really heavy overhead for any employer, who ends up having to supervise and pick up the pieces, much to their frustration. I think that's at the root of it all.

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frakkinaround · 24/01/2010 11:37

"There is probably also a very interesting general point to be made about certain members of this generation and their idea of a sense of entitlement as opposed to a sense of duty."

Nail. Head. We weren't actually taught in school about work ethic, initiative, doing your best etc. Initiative is, in fact, discouraged because you won't get the top marks for being too creative. The overwhelming lesson is 'pass exams and that's all you need to do, tick the boxes and you're sorted'. Employers don't have time to hand-hold at this kind of level and new employees are left floundering because they don't know what's expected.

This is especially when said people don't 'need' to work, a la Not So Lovely Temp.

ponders whether she counts as a rich and dysfunctional element because she went to An Expensive Educational Establishment (not The Place We Do Not Name or anything remotely like it though)

This is, after all, juicy internet gossip but it does paint a worrying picture which people haven't been talking about. Had my DM not mentioned 2 other cases and I not read about CrappyNanny on here I would have chalked up Naughty Nanny as one bad egg. You're not a mug, Boffin, because people are still being taken in by it, and maybe you and all these other people really were just unlucky. It's one Training Institution, which just happens to be very well regarded, and they're not necessarily to blame. It's like Oxbridge producing a couple of sub-standard (or really thick) graduates. The vast majority are highly intelligent and deserving of their degrees. Equally unfortunately there's no national registration of nannies otherwise Naughty Nanny and Smacking Nanny would have been off it right away and the original awarding body of their qualification probably informed.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/01/2010 13:21

i know about spit roasting

tnn, yes the nanny shouldnt have a go at you, as it seems is common knowledge

ps - i crashed works car, and im a good nanny