The curse of Boff. Again.

[BoffinMum]

You are not going to believe this, guys. The lovely temp (and she really is lovely) who came today has had to leave because her mum was rushed into hospital. We don't know if/when she'll be coming back. So we are without childcare again! I am currently in Paris and DH was supposed to be going into work tomorrow because he hasn't been able to get in all week. He has no leave left either. Crikey! Anybody want three lovely children, two with diarrhoea?

I know Boffin...

Mind you when i was young and a nanny i would die to work with someone like you and i would bombard (sp?) you with questions about research, methods etc.

But others might see it a bit like ...going to cook in a chef's house.

I 'm sure you will find a good nanny soon, the time of the year is good i think, just hold on there

I'd be thrilled to work for somebody in your job. I'm completing my degree in education and english.
With regards the the 'auctioning' concept that's exactly what happened. I was auctioned off to the highest bigger; bullied into accepting the job by the agent who think the family can do no wrong because they are 'high profile' The snob and bullying factor was tremendous and I am consequently trapped.
Okay so I hate the job but I can do it and I do it well because I was hired to do it; paid a wage and I take pride in my work. My personal feelings about the position are not the childrens fault and they deserve the best I can give them. If nannies want to be respected as professionals then they need to behave like professionals. Boff's experiences just bring shame to the whole industry.
Mind you if you actually read the Mary Poppins books she never stayed very long either. I think in one she just announces she is going and leaves there and then.

Perhaps it's the agency set-up. I was once going for journalism jobs with one agency, and was appalled at some of the jobs they wanted to put me up for. I put my foot down when they suggested "Aquaria and Pond Keeping" (and I'm not even certain they got the title right!), pointing out that, not only would my cv look a bit off-target, I didn't even have a driver's license (I was pretty sure I'd have to travel to see some of these ponds), so they would think it was taking the piss to put me forward. Luckily, the agent had some shame and backed down, and probably had to find someone else with a bit-less-inappropriate cv to put forward to make up the numbers and not lose face.

Some of the same dynamics must be at work in nanny agencies, surely?

WingedVictory, I think you are probably spot on. I reckon a lot of the time agencies hardly have anyone on their books, and they just send random CVs out more or less indiscriminately to try to get a fee. That would explain why I am always required to fill in a long list of apparent requirements, and then when candidates' CVs appear they don't have any of them, and the agency tries to persuade me to take them on by telling me how 'lovely' the candidates are, (to which I invariably respond "I do not want 'lovely'. I want experienced and qualified"). I am not saying all agencies do this, but I reckon it must happen pretty frequently in the smaller ones.

I wonder if The Place We Do Not Name does this a lot, actually. I imagine this may be a Truth That Dares Not Speak Its Name.

One of the girls I was at school with, who did not have much going for her at all IMO, trained at Princess Christian (a private Nursery Nurse Training College in Manchester that has since closed, same type as Norland and Chiltern) in the 1980s, and the next time I bumped into her, she was working for some 'sleb friends of ours. She wasn't great at the old nannying, tbh, and it was all a bit embarrassing.

Tavvy, I am now worried you are one of my students ...

If I am can I have an A* please

Most agencies work with 'targets'. The staff have to do a certain amount of matching in order to keep the job or to be paid. So basically they are like estate agents or salesmen.

Laquitar, quite! We keep getting estate agent "letters" (or should it be "litters"? We recycle them) through our door, begging us to consider selling or renting out, just because one person expressed vague interest in our street. Now, our street is 5 mins from the station, and that station is 11-15 mins from London, so it is a good place to be. However, this is just one enquiry, so could that possibly "mop up" all the houses on a whole street, or is the agency being disingenuous?! Hmmm. We get what seems like the same letter from the same agents frequently. If they use pseudonyms anyway, what's to stop them from multiplying the pseudonyms to set up an "echo chamber" effect? Nothing but a sense of honour, no doubt!

But if an agency manages to have a good enough choice to offer a buyer, something might stick.... of course they will want to do it!

We had the opposite experience last winter, looking for somewhere to rent when there was a glut of rental property from both the existing landlords and the "accidental landlords" (those who couldn't sell). One agency which had too much property on its books took us to some real dumps before we saw anything nice. And when we saw the nicer things, it was so clear that they had been hoping to shift the old crap, that we were Really Quite Annoyed.

WingedVictory,
your last paragraph is exactly what i meant

so in other words the agencys are giving boffy the old crappy nannies

Blondes, unless I marry Peter Andre I fear this is my lot.

Right ladies, we have to think how I can leap up the agencies' apparent status ranking as a client, because it is clear there is an absolute cartload of crap being sent to me.

How can I look like the hottest client on the planet without actually lying about who I am??

Sorry, Laquitar! I am considering the possibility that I am trying to impress BoffinMum.

It must be the hard-arsed:
"I have now been looking after 3 kids (and their big sister who also requires adult type mothering) for a goddamm month pretty much on my own, and between wipings and feedings I have been running a flipping university course, writing half an academic paper and also presenting at an overseas conference."

and

"I do not want 'lovely'. I want experienced and qualified".

I do love a bit of fight-adrenaline.... although not the Daily Mail levels you seem to be suffering at the moment, BoffinMum!

Oh! Things have moved on a bit.

Well, BoffinMum, what you have been saying on this thread might help. Being arsey can't hurt, anyway. I presume you've already tried nice.

Would mentioning your work sound threatening enough? Or would you need to lie in order to get the thickoes to understand the danger for their reputation? If so, do respect your own scruples, a pity though that might be.

I am actually so fucking ANGRY about various things half the time, I even have to laugh at myself while I am doing it.

Here is my current top ten:

1. Agencies
2. Flaky nannies
3. Thin lipped, wide hipped, miserable university administrators and all their nonsense
4. Students who can't spell or do Harvard referencing
5. Peter Mandelson
6. Naked scanners
7. The disabled parking 'system' at Addenbrookes.

...er...

actually I think that's all at the moment, as I feel better now.

But if you don't mind me asking why try to impress the agency and not go DIY? And use the money you will save from agency fees to top up the nanny's pay and/or good bonuses?

I understand some families prefer the agency route for the whole package but in your case with your experience i'm sure you don't need that.

Can you imagine a TV drama with all of my top 7 in? Now that would make riveting viewing, would it not??

Tavvy, you can have a lollipop as well LOL

Laquitar, the DIY route has been an absolute disaster. A litany of people who can't read ads, no-shows and total timewaters.

Would the title be 'the Faboulous 7?'

God if I had the energy I would have to write it up as a drama right now!

Peter shuddered as he imagined what might be going on in the viewing room ....

... the tablets had indeed worked their magic as promised, but he had not bargained on this priapic state of affairs, oh no.

Oh, no, not DIY.

BoffinMum, I know you probably don't think that any of this is funny at all - I certainly wouldn't in your shoes - and we shouldn't laugh but I do find your posts very entertaining!

splutters mint tea at Boffin's 'drama'

Register with a new agency. Tell them you are an extremely high-profile academic who wants a qualified and experienced nanny wishing to expand her mind whilst looking after your 3 wonderful children. You area of expertise happens to be education so you know what you're talking about and won't hesitate to name and shame any agencies who give you crap. Live in or live out negotiable

I want to know what they say to that.

boffy tried diy and got crap results

i really cant believe what rubbish nannys (if i can call them that) have appplied

really dont know what to suggest tbh