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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed that my nanny's phone was off all day so DS was not collected from school when he was sick

83 replies

naughtymummy · 11/12/2008 20:37

I was on night shift last night it was really busy so i was looking forward a nice bath and sleep when i got back. On the way home school called to say could he be picked up ? I then called nanny-no answear so assumed she was driving so sent a text.Thinking that she would pick it up and go and get him. She called me at 330 to say she had just got the message and had I got him ? Was and to think he had been ill at school all day.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

magicofchristmas · 13/12/2008 00:46

On the (rare) occasions I have left my phone at home I have always informed MB of where I will be at any given time, even handing her the other nanny's tel no. for example. That way if she needed to contact me in an emergency she would at least have some way of getting hold of me. I have also had tel no's written elsewhere if I need to get hold of them.

Agree with the others tho that you too have a responsibility to your child and should have made sure your nanny got the message.

ToysAreLikeDogs · 13/12/2008 00:51

Not one person has questioned the fact that the child has TWO parents.

skrimbo · 13/12/2008 00:53

I always have my phone on but if it is in my bag I don't always here it, so if I got a text I might not realise as I don't walk about with my phone in my hand all day.

So if phone rang and she didn't answer it wasn't that she didn't have it switched on, perhaps she was driving and phone was in bag, music on for kids.

I would have rang her a good few times in the hope she would hear it, not just text.

Sorry but peoples attitudes to phones vary a lot and I get pissed off when people expect me to have my phone glued to my arse all day.

breaghsmum · 13/12/2008 01:07

i dont think the nanny deserves a written warning. i think where possible she should have her phone on but that there are time when it is not possible or when she isnt able to answer as mentioned, swimming, out of signal. so i do think OP should have made verbal contact with nanny before making assumption that message had been received. if it was me and i hadnt been able to make verbal contact i would have made my own way to the school, and also still tried to contact her or arrange a friend or childs father to collect. i agree that your child is your responsibility and i wouldnt have been able to go home or go to sleep without knowing he had been collected and was ok. i dont think the fact that you employ someone to care for your children negates your ultimate responsibility as their parent. with regards to nanny, if she doesnt think it is a big deal then you need to stress how important it is that she keeps her phone on when possible. also, if it isnt in your contract, i would recommend putting it in but again, this doesnt negate your responsibility for your children.

thenewme · 13/12/2008 09:40

TALD - I did wonder about the father but didn't want to make assumptions as there are a lot of single mums on here.

wickedwitchofthesoutheast · 13/12/2008 09:52

my (soon to be former) MB is a bit like this regarding MY mobile phone, she once had a massive go at me for not answering my phone when she had forgotten her door keys and needed to be let in - the reason was I was putting her child to bed at the time so (shock horror) my phone was not on my person but outside on the bookshelf so I couldn't really answer it+not forgetting maybe having the keys to her own house would have been a start eh?

she texts me all day, every day asking how my charge is, which is fair enough, but sometimes, if I don't answer within minutes, she'll re-send the text - like I'm not busy throughout the day+can't always answer a text straight away?

I wouldn't mind if it was a work phone, but its not, its my personal phone that I had to switch the contracts on, as I end up texting her so much, I was going out of my allowance for the month!

sorry, needed a rant there!

thenewme · 13/12/2008 10:01

She should be pleased you are not glued to your phone but looking after her child.

magicofchristmas · 13/12/2008 10:09

WW I once had a boss the same as yours and yes it was my own personal phone I ended up handing her the bill every month and telling her she needed to stump up some money towards it. She settled ever so slightly when she realised just how much I was texting her. One month it showed I had text her 43 times in one day.

wickedwitchofthesoutheast · 13/12/2008 10:18

thenewme - well yes, you'd think that wouldn't you

mind you, this is the same woman who told me to leave her child playing on the stairs or 'in the bath' so I could clean the bathroom+do a bit of housework

conflicting emotions there or what!

magicofchristmas · 13/12/2008 10:21

How many kids did you have WW?

Sounds all too familliar.

wickedwitchofthesoutheast · 13/12/2008 10:27

just the one - its my last working day next week, I shall be upset to be leaving the LO but there are certain aspects of the job I won't miss
LIKE HAVING TO DO ALL THE BLOODY HOUSEWORK REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER ELSE IS GOING ON!!

sorry

magicofchristmas · 13/12/2008 10:32

Not the same job as me then.

My god....I didnt realise there could be 2 of them.

Good luck in your new post, I'm well out of mine too.

wickedwitchofthesoutheast · 13/12/2008 10:39

its my own fault for blindly taking a nanny/hk role, I didn't actually expect the hk element to be so hardcore LOL

she made me wash every window in the house!! and suggested that I (wait for it) scrub the kitchen floor!
I actually questioned this as I thought that she meant something else, but no, she meant get a scourer and scrub it, on my hands and knees and everything.

I didn't do it, in case you're wondering

sorry for the thread hi-jack

tankie · 13/12/2008 11:26

Nanny shouldn't have forgotten her phone, but sometimes these things happen. I don't think she deserves a written warning - sounds like you might be angrier with her than she deserves because you feel guilty?

breaghsmum · 13/12/2008 13:18

tankie i agree about the guilt.

nannynick · 13/12/2008 13:22

Nanny left the phone at home.
Child slept most of the afternoon.
When spoken with, nanny seemed to think it wasn't a big deal.

Why didn't the nanny get the phone when they realised they didn't have it?
What timescale are we talking from the inital call from school, to the nanny realising there was something that needed dealing with? - I am guessing several hours.
Nanny's attitude towards it wasn't apologetic for not having phone.

It's the nannies attitude towards the situation that I feel is why a written warning could be considered. To me it just came across as though the nanny didn't care... didn't feel it was a big issue. Was that actually the case? Or am I reading this wrong?

Yes phones don't work in areas, are on silent for periods, don't always ring (mine needs rebooting quite often due to it suddenly stopping sound), may not be checked for messages for an hour or two.

But to me it's not the failure to respond to the phone calls/texts that is the major issue here - yes it's a problem but one that can happen to anyone. It's the way the nanny reacted to it - the not thinking it was a big deal, not thinking of going home to get the phone when they realised it was missing.

I may be on my own with my view, but that's just how I interpret things from the information given.

breaghsmum · 13/12/2008 13:54

i agree nannynick, if she doesnt feel it is a big deal then this must be addressed.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/12/2008 16:58

www - i had a temp job like that - was there for a week as nanny ill

child had a cold, and mum a bit said to stay in the house - not a prob

child was sick from coughing/flem etc, and as i was clearing up the mess/the child - home phone rang and mum rang to see how things were

i ignored as clearing up piles of puke - she left a message, where are you, rang my mobile, i ignored it (was in other room), she left an angry where are you message, she then rang again 5 times on house phone, in 5mins leaving vile,swearing message of where the fuck are you, i pay you to look after my fucking child, i told you stay in the fuckinghouse etc on my mobile

when i listened to them about 10mins later - i was appallled at the mums behaviour!!

if she couldnt get hold of me for several hours,maybe a slightly rude mess be left, of i asked you not to go out

but 6 rude mess on ansam and alos 3 on my mobile in less then 10mins is MAJORALLY OUT OF ORDER!!!

yes a nanny should have her phone with her at all times/with in reach but there are sometimes when you dont

my current work house has dreadful signal.but luckily my mb is not not weird

i didnt mention dad as op didnt mention them, did school ring dad as well?

wickedwitchofthesoutheast · 13/12/2008 17:25

blondes - that is appalling!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/12/2008 17:39

often wonder how the perm nanny stuck it out tbh!!

tankie · 13/12/2008 17:40

You can understand the mum feeling anxious that you didn't pick up immediately as you were a temp - but leaving abusive messages like that is so not on!

breaghsmum · 13/12/2008 17:50

really how do these people get anywhere in life when that is how they treat the people thay are depending on!! but then again, they probably just blame every1 but themselves. that is a disgusting way to treat anyone, never mind an employee. if it had of been me i would have rang her back and said either come and take your child or arrange for someone else to sit with them because i would not stay.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/12/2008 17:59

agree tankie, if i hadnt answered phone/returned call after an hour or so but ten mins

i could have been having a poo in her loo (though mobile would have been in my pocket )

sorry naughtymummy - we have totally hijacked your thread

Coldtits · 13/12/2008 18:02

I do night shifts, and you should have fetched him yourself, then dozed on the sofa/in bed with him.

duchesse · 13/12/2008 18:02

You should have checked she had the message.

The other point is, if she was meant to still be working for you, then of course she should have her phone on, in case just such a thing happens.

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