Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed that my nanny's phone was off all day so DS was not collected from school when he was sick

83 replies

naughtymummy · 11/12/2008 20:37

I was on night shift last night it was really busy so i was looking forward a nice bath and sleep when i got back. On the way home school called to say could he be picked up ? I then called nanny-no answear so assumed she was driving so sent a text.Thinking that she would pick it up and go and get him. She called me at 330 to say she had just got the message and had I got him ? Was and to think he had been ill at school all day.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

naughtymummy · 11/12/2008 22:26

I have spoken to her she seemed to think it wasn't a big deal. I said she neededto have her phone on and check it regulary when DS is at school

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/12/2008 22:30

my phone is ALWAYS near/by me when i am working - just incase school/nursery ring or if mb/db need me

how is your little chap now?

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 11/12/2008 23:01

NM, I do agree that it is a big deal, which is why I said about disciplinary action. Personally I would put it in writing if she is trying to brush it off. She is paid to look after both children and so should be available in the same way I expect my nursery to be available to look after my child at any time they are being paid to!

IMO it is ok to brush off a complaint about the kitchen side not being wiped but it is not ok to brush off a sick child being left at school.

nannynick · 11/12/2008 23:10

I don't think your nannies attitude is very good. Not being contactable for a long period of time (I'm guessing at least 2 hours) is an important issue, it is a big deal.
As a nanny, I'm un-contactable at various times during my working day - as I may take the children walking and be out of coverage area for a while (due to thick trees!).
If I had left my phone at my home... once I started work, I would have gone back for it while on route to wherever we were going that morning - not ideal, but I feel it's better to have the phone, than not to be contactable all day - and not to be able to contact anyone should the need arise.

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 11/12/2008 23:10

She didn't deliberately leave him at school whilst he was sick though did she? She didn't know - because she made a mistake. You did know and you also made a mistake - of assuming she would handle it. Tbh if that's all there is to it I would just want to move on from that but what I would want an answer to are the circumstances surrounding him going to school in the first place. You weren't at home so who ok'd him going to school - was he perfectly well then? Did your partner see him? I'm just wondering if he was off colour then and the nanny took him to school because she didn't want to be bothered and then left her phone behind on purpose for the same reason? Now that would make me furious!

Original poster

naughtymummy · 11/12/2008 23:11

But I also feel like it was my responsiblity as others have said on here.The school does have her number but I am first on the list and once they had got through to me I don't think they called any other numbers. I think tommorow I will explain that I think it is unacceptable that myself or the school cannot reach her during working hours. What do you reckon to a wriiten warning about it happening again ?

OP posts:

nannynick · 11/12/2008 23:14

Being uncontactable for a short period of time I feel is just one of those things (coverage can be patchy), but it should be for a short period, not several hours.

Agree with NCRBB - if nanny is trying to brush it off, the make it a written warning. If they were very apologetic, had an acceptable excuse, etc then you could choose to only give a verbal warning.

nannynick · 11/12/2008 23:19

Ultimately it is your responsibility naughtymummy, you are your child's mother - the buck stops with you. But you did make efforts to contact your nanny - you just didn't collect your son when you failed to make contact with your nanny.

So, I feel you are to blame for not collecting your son from school.
Your nanny is to blame for not being contactable for x period of time - which could well be a disciplinary offence under the terms of the contract. Do you have a section in your contract about being contactable? If not, good time to add it in as an addition.

Original poster

naughtymummy · 11/12/2008 23:22

Don't think thats it at all northern I spoke to her around 8am she said they were all fine DH says DS was full of the joys before he left for work, was realy surprised DS had been sent home. Just one of those things him being sick, I don't think it could have been predicted.

OP posts:

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 11/12/2008 23:25

that's a relief then at least!

bonnycat · 12/12/2008 10:33

YANBU to be cross that she wasnt contactable but ultimately your child is YOUR responsibility so you should have checked she got the message.
I would definately have a stern word with her.

bonnycat · 12/12/2008 10:43

OOPS somehow i managed to miss the second half of the thread before i posted sorry,i see you have had a word.
I think it would be reasonable to put it in writing if she didnt seem to understand the importance of it.
Its not always possible to have contact though as others have said ,what about if she took your DD swimming or something?Maybe set a period of time and anything over that is not on?

AtheneNoctua · 12/12/2008 11:32

Do you provide this phone for the nanny? And has it been made clear to her that you expect her to be avaialble on it whenever she is on duty? If this is her own person mobile phone and she pays the bill, then I don't think she is obligated to be on it for you -- unless you have agrteed otherwise. If you provide this phone for her to use as she sees fit in the course of her job, then she is absolutley in the wrong. And, if this is the case, then I would be even more upset about her relaxed attitude.

Personally, I think a verbal warning / clarification of expectations is in order here. If it happens again, then I'd give a written warning.

But, if you give her a written warning I think you should first explore whether or not you have thoroughly communicated the expectation as I do not think it is fair to give an employee a written warning for something they genuinely did not realise was part of their scope of work.

AtheneNoctua · 12/12/2008 11:36

Incedentally, I do not agree with the comments which say it is ultimatel your job and not hers to sort the situation. Whilst the nanny is within her contracted hours, it is surely her job to act on your befhalf in all matters regarding the children -- unless you specify otherwise. Surely, this is what you pay her to do.

Although, if I sent a text and didn't get a response, I probably would not assume she had gotten the message.

needmorecoffee · 12/12/2008 11:41

if you went home to sleep didn't you notice the nanny and your ds didn't arrive?

ScottishMummy · 12/12/2008 11:48

i appreciate had been working but upon receiving the call didn't you check they were planning to come back?what time did school call you at?really you should have ensured verbal contact and affirmation of pick up from nanny before going to bed

nanny is in wrong.her responsibility is your son.why was she unable to receive this important call.what was she doing that she missed it?

wheresthehamster · 12/12/2008 17:47

I thought the nanny had accidently left the phone at home? Anyone can make a mistake. Apart from pointing out that it is important to try and remember I can't see that the nanny warrants any warnings, etc

thebody · 12/12/2008 18:06

i DONT THINK ITS YOUR FAULT NAUGHTYMUMMY AND YOU SHOULDNT FEEL BAD. YOU ARE PAYING HER TO BE IN LOCO PARENTIS FOR YOUR CHILD AND SO SHE SHOULD BE AWARE OF WHERE HER PHONE IS AT ALL TIMES.
AS A CHILDMINDER I TAKE MY MINDEES TO PLAYGROUP BUT AM STILL PAID TO BE THERE FOR THEM IN THE EVENT OF SICKNESS OR ACCIDENT, I THINK SHE IS UNPROFESSIONAL.
AS A EX NURSE MYSELF AND SHIFT WORKER IT MAKES ME MAD WHEN PEOPLE ASSUME THAT YOUR SLEEP DAY IS A BIT OF A DOSS...BET THEY COULDNT WORK 48 HOURS STRAIGHT... HAVE A WORD WITH THE NANNY MATE AND LAY DOWN THE LAW...

noonki · 12/12/2008 18:08

When you got home and they weren't there didn't you ring her/the school again?

noonki · 12/12/2008 18:08

When you got home and they weren't there didn't you ring her/the school again?

frogwatcher · 12/12/2008 18:14

The nanny should of course had her phone on if that was agreed. And as a parent you would be cross if you had to collect your child, or ask a friend to collect for you, because you couldnt contact her. However, even after a long night shift I dont think I could settle until I had spoken to her and checked ds was picked up and o.k. If I couldnt contact her I would automatically pick up ds myself or arrange for somebody else to do it and then have a talk with her after. Im not convinced that people are automatically assuming that the sleep day is a bit of a doss. Surely there is no difference to a day worker working all day and then having to look after a sick child at night? It seems to me that a few people (and certainly not all) think that the ultimate responsibility lies with the parent to ensure the child is o.k particularly if nanny is uncontactable. Reading the ops message again - yes I do think you are unreasonable. Texts often dont arrive - i sometimes get some a day after!!! Its a sick child, not a pint of milk from the shop.

nbee84 · 12/12/2008 20:42

As a nanny - I would always make sure I had my phone with me - I should be contactable at all times while working.

As a Mum - I couldn't have gone to sleep without knowing how my child was. Even if nanny had collected I would be concerned for my child who was ill enough to warrant leaving school early.

nannyL · 12/12/2008 20:44

does the nanny regularly have her phone switched off or was it an accident?

yesturday i switched my phone to silent at singing at 9.30 them forgot and turned it back to ringing at 1ish... i checked for calls / texts (and hadnt recieved any) but if i had i would not expect a written warning for missing a call....

on the other side (almost) there was a time when i REALLY REALLY needed MB or DB... their dog became extreamly sick (and the vet said it nearly died, with just hours to spare)... anyway i took control and called and texted both bosses AND called their work numbers, and called their work headoficces to try and locate them...

i couldnt reach either of them and was responsible for the poor dog and vets etc all afternoon. The point was it COULD have been one of the children seriously poorly, and i could NOT get hold of either of them at all...

anyway, rather than wating for them to come and sort the dog out i sorted the poor dog myself (which from your analogy would probably equate to you collecting your child who needed collecting)

ofcourse while i am working i make every effort to have my phone on and with me... BUT some places it has no signal, some places its on silent, and occasionaky the battery runs low (I keep a charger at work too and this is rare but it happens cause its LIFE).... and yes twice i have forgotten it and done the 90min school run without my phone... because i am HUMAN

I also have the names / addresses / numbers for all my nanny friends, and 'our groups' etc in the nanny diary so IF my phone didnt work and it was that important, my bosses could use the nanny diary to see where we are and find another number etc.

i think a friendly conversation is the way forward, along the lines of can you try to have your phone n while working... and maybe suggest writing the names and numbers of her nanny friends who she sees, so that you have alternative numbers too would be a way forward

also have you ever accidently not had your phone switched on, or on silent etc?

thenewme · 12/12/2008 20:45

What time did the school call you?

The nanny is wrong to have had her phone off.

I don't think you were wrong to send the text but I would also have phoned to actually speak to her or phoned the school to see that he had been picked up.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/12/2008 20:50

how many of you forget your phone/dont look at it during the day?

many a time i would call ex mb and leave a message about something , and she wouldnt look/hear her phone till 4/6hrs later

agree nanny should have her phone with her at all times, but she forgot it

the op as a mum should have rung nanny at work house once she didnt pick up her mobile to leave a message on work ansa machine

tbh i think you are both in the wrong - have a chat and make sure you both know what both of you should do if child is ill - and forget about it

Flip

1 2 3 4