A tiny bit suspicious of nanny references

[SlicedMelon]

So we have offered a lovely nanny the role and she has provided two references, first name with phone number. I’ve spoken to one who sounded honestly a bit nervous and referenced their child’s ages as exactly the “starting age” of the children in the role as described in her CV (eg said, my two daughters, 5 months and 2 years old rather than 5 and 7 which would be how old they are now - I just feel like a genuine parent would have described children as 5 and 7 and then said something like she started when youngest was a few months old or something like that rather than the exact starting ages?).

I’ve followed up and asked for his full name and wife’s full name and his work email, which he provided, but he doesn’t come up on LinkedIn / neither does company, although there is a website. Is there any other step I could reasonably do to verify this role existed?

I really like her but also don’t want to be relaxed about this considering my spidey senses are going off a bit… could I ask for payslips or something?

Yes. It’s a thumbnail photo in the top left beside your name.

Would you “genuinely like” someone who lied about something relating to your children and their care?

Would you “give her a second chance”?

I don’t doubt it’s possible

but certainly not something I have ever encountered and certainly not evidence that “swish”!

This is good to know. I also think that if people have these secret jobs that they can’t share their email from, surely their partner or someone from the household has a normal job? If I was providing a reference to help a much loved nanny get a job and another parent wanted to verify us using work email and I was a spy or whatever some of the posters here are, I would just get DH to email them. Anyone can make an email account saying [email protected] but it’s impossible to get a fake work account of [email protected]. Based on my recent experience I would not accept a reference if they couldn’t provide a work email and would really advise others to do the same.

ARE YOU GOING TO REPORT HER TO CHILDCARE l.CO.UK?????

For future reference - very swish email signatures are more common with people trying to look swish or professional than those who actually are.

Thinking through my work contacts, the big organisations and senior roles within them tend to be plain text. Or plain text with small company logo. And large amount of small print disclaimer text.

The ones with fancy designs and graphics are the self employed trying to get a foot in working from their sheds.

Personally no, but not my kids and she seems to believe her gut about people and still think somewhere this person is right so she has the choice as her child not mine. Hence me giving the balanced view of she will always know how far the person went to lie which she won't forget.

I didn’t say it was swish. I said it was commonplace.

I’ve attached an image from a google search as you apparently think this is some kind of voodoo!

Link as screenshot didn’t woek

blog.gimm.io/how-to-delete-remove-an-email-signature-from-gmail/

I think when you have any sort of doubts when it comes to your kids then follow your gut. I am a Nanny and my CV provides full names, addresses and telephone number for my previous families.

But I was commenting on the OP saying it was swish
The Op

Omg

I know it’s possible 😆

If husband is an employee (rather than it being his own business) I would imagine most employers would see using work email to commit fraud would be gross misconduct. Add in the extra risk of it being a safeguarding issue if any incident occured in nanny’s care and he’s used work resources to verify. It’s not just “secret” jobs that dont allow personal use of work emails. Its for people linking company name /reputation / validation to situations like this.

This is exactly my point.

@SlicedMelonalthough I'm a wee bit suspicious that any posters on here could possibly be spies based on their statements about online security...

Morning OP 👋..
From what I can gather from your post Is you have a gut feeling she is a good person ? really wants the job & has no references so had made them up 🤷🏻‍♀️..
Why don’t you meet her again & tell her exactly how you feel & what you think & ask her to be honest , or am I being stupid ?

I would actually say to her that the reason she hasn't got the job is because she started off intending to deceive you and clearly thinks nothing about being systematically dishonest.

There is no family that would employ a nanny who is dishonest from the off.

Be factual, don't get into specifics about her Instagram or anything else - do not get drawn into a discussion - just repeat that you discovered she had been dishonest about her references and you are unable to proceed.

I absolutely don't get the way you terrorise the poor referee and the extent to which they are calling back and forth. My daughters were living in nannies and always got the jobs with either 1 reference or none.

One always worked for single dads who just said on the phone how great she was with each family member, cooked and cleaned for additional pay and never gave their businesses or progressional emails.

Stop terrorising the people, go to an agency instead

You’re a better woman than me op to be so magnanimous- she has seriously fucked you over here and sounds like an absolute master manipulator and extremely professional lier to pull off a flawless interview about 10 years of nanny experience she doesn’t have (or does have and has performed so badly she can’t get a reference). What a bullet dodged- well done for not letting the suss references get the better of you.

Good call, as to the cute face, always remember Ted Bundy was a good looking, kindly seeming, intelligent and charismatic man - estimated to have murdered about 100 women, confessed to 30.

She quite possibly is fine. but lacking in genuine references, made them up - that's silly for any job, but for something as sensitive as this role even the slightest hint of deception is a no-no.

I'm guessing her second reference was bogus too.

Has she got dbs, is she through an agency, she might be just starting out.

One of my daughters ex employers wife had the ex pick up the phone once < the ex of the dad > and as she was jealous of my daughter for no apparent reason, said she remembers the nanny but is not giving reference as she worked there more than 2 years ago. So what. Give the reference dear woman.

My beautiful, clean, kind, well presented daughter was given a chance with a secret 2 week probation period, she passed it with flying colours and she's still in touch with the dad on FB

🤣🤣🤣 agree

The issue is that this potential nanny the OP found lied and fabricated a reference - that's a big deception, a big lie, which also request planning and conspiracy with another, and the plan is to leave your baby in the care of someone who has started out in such a way - nope.

Gmail often have profile photos.

What do you think an agency will do differently? They will (should) try to establish that the reference is genuine too.