A tiny bit suspicious of nanny references

[SlicedMelon]

So we have offered a lovely nanny the role and she has provided two references, first name with phone number. I’ve spoken to one who sounded honestly a bit nervous and referenced their child’s ages as exactly the “starting age” of the children in the role as described in her CV (eg said, my two daughters, 5 months and 2 years old rather than 5 and 7 which would be how old they are now - I just feel like a genuine parent would have described children as 5 and 7 and then said something like she started when youngest was a few months old or something like that rather than the exact starting ages?).

I’ve followed up and asked for his full name and wife’s full name and his work email, which he provided, but he doesn’t come up on LinkedIn / neither does company, although there is a website. Is there any other step I could reasonably do to verify this role existed?

I really like her but also don’t want to be relaxed about this considering my spidey senses are going off a bit… could I ask for payslips or something?

Mine is the same, I’m in the NHS, I’ve never heard anyone asking for a work email before and I’ve been a nanny in the past.

Is that your best comeback?🤣To think
yoi reported me for what I said. 🙄

Given that offering a reference is a favour and not an obligation, and the number of people on the thread that have expressed that they wouldn’t be able or willing to give their work details to a stranger, an explanation as to the request might help when speaking to other referees 🙄

OP are you going to report this to childcare.co.uk? It’s a really serious safeguarding issue - by not employing this lady you’re protecting your own children but what about others who might not be able to uncover that the references are fake? I realise when you met her you did like her, but many child abusers go unnoticed in society and are pleasant people. It might have just been a silly mistake on her part thinking that she’d be more employable than explaining she hasn’t worked as a nanny before, but it might be that she’s actually a risk to children.

The op is being a bit cagey about that, which is kind of an answer in itself really. Disappointing

If I agreed to provide a reference for someone I would be pretty annoyed to have my full name, address, email and phone number on someone’s cv- isn’t that a bit of an info security risk? CVs are often fired off to and uploaded to recruitment sites for most roles (including nannying).

I wouldn’t be providing my work email either unless it was necessary- this all just feels so intrusive.
I’ve provided plenty of references so fairly experienced with what’s standardly requested but I wouldn’t be up for all these extras to verify my identify to a random person (would feel better if it were a HR dept who should know what they’re doing with respect to GDPR/personal data).

I agree.

There's a lot of not-so-subtle implication on this thread that those of us following professional work policies or being careful with our information are being unhelpful or obstructive.

Most people these days have more awareness of the issues that can arise when data is misplaced or misused.

For heaven’s sake if you don’t want to use your professional email address on a reference, you just explain who you are and when you employed the nanny if a prospective employer calls. I’ve done this countless times. It’s the most straightforward, common sense, practical interaction.

It’s very sensible if you are thinking of employing a nanny to have a confidential chat with former employers. Everyone involved knows this. And indeed the OP shows why.

If as a former employer you don’t want your contact details given so that you can provide a reference, say no. ‘Data misuse’ would be a pretty daft reason not to provide a reference for a good former nanny, though.

Unless possibly you’re high up in the security services, in which case someone else probably does the vetting anyway. For the rest of us, we just say ‘I am a doctor/teacher/accountant and don’t use my professional email for personal stuff’. It was the lack of this normal interaction, plus the obvious obfuscation, that rightly made the OP suspicious.

My CV says references on request at the bottom.

Then according to GDPR the contact details are not allowed to be on the actual written of reference now.

So there’s definitely no name address et cetera on my CV of the people that I have worked for

And yes OP needs to report this to CHILDCARE but it seems sadly she’s not going to

For heaven’s sake if you don’t want to use your professional email address on a reference, you just explain who you are and when you employed the nanny if a prospective employer calls. I’ve done this countless times. It’s the most straightforward, common sense, practical interaction.
It’s very sensible if you are thinking of employing a nanny to have a confidential chat with former employers. Everyone involved knows this. And indeed the OP shows why.

All this is entirely sensible and logical.

We are speaking of those upthread who cannot conceive why anyone would not allow a work email address to be used, and of reasons why full contact details on a CV might be unwise.

Hi Adelle, the nanny has since got back to us with a full apology and provided a lot of evidence to explain why she did this and has put me in touch with her real references (with evidence to show they are who they say they are). It was a massive error of judgement on her part but we are satisfied that she is not a risk to children and so won’t report.

And this shit just got weirder

she provided you with “real references” 🙄

All this means is that you’re not going to report her to childcare.co.uk doesn’t it?

I don't get that nanny. If she didn't like her previous employers she could just omit them and say is starting now or whatever. Why would you force someone to lie in your behalf for a badly paid job bit one which concerns other people's children. Just switch industries and start again

My daughters had nanny jobs with saying they helped me looked after grandma, my mother when she was old and helped on the vineyard ..
Then two jobs later and an Esol tutor reference, a choir one and baking for the National Trust, they ended up with 5 ref

That isn’t the reason @Bathingforest but due to some of the rather acidic personalities that have taken an interest in this thread I won’t be sharing her story as it’s actually quite sad. But yes I totally agree that she had a lot of other avenues to pursue! I understand why she might not have felt that way however.

Oh dear OP

I reckon you and this liar nanny are going to end up being BFFs.

Honestly, and now the utter nonsense about the “real references”. Farcical.

'Acidic personalities' meaning people who think dishonesty is a safeguarding issue?

Not at all @bluegreygreen , I don’t find you acidic and I responded to @Adelle79360 who was concerned about safeguarding. Very open to hearing differing opinions and views and if I hadn’t received the information I had I would have reported her to the website.

Exactly

the op has got defensive because a few of us are a bit WTF that she’s not reporting

and now the BS about “real references”

I mean… really?

The new information you have received has come from a proven LIAR!!

you couldn’t make it up!!

She has real references ?

Tho why the hell didn’t she use /give them to you ?

this sounds more and more suss

So she was lying before but now you believe her new tale? How strange.

Yup. comically strange

She's twisting your melon, man!

Not throughly checking one person's references can can make a Outstanding school inadequate. So anyone who works in safeguarding knows this.

But this is your personal risk. We have zero choice thank God as it's not our kids we are risking. You don't have to like or accept that others have different lines in the sand and your free to do you. But for schools and nurseries you don't choose the line. It's rightly dictated thank God.

It was a massive error of judgement on her part but we are satisfied that she is not a risk to children

I'm not sure I follow your thinking, OP.

You clearly now have some further information that you find convincing. I'm not asking to know what that is.

I would just ask you to think about the fact that there is a person here who, for whatever reason, decides that the appropriate way to deal with a difficult situation is by deception. That person is applying for jobs looking after children.

How is she likely to react when a difficult situation involving her care of children arises? If, for example, a child has been upset or injured due to some fault of hers? We already know that dishonesty is an option she will consider. This is why it is a safeguarding issue.