A tiny bit suspicious of nanny references

[SlicedMelon]

So we have offered a lovely nanny the role and she has provided two references, first name with phone number. I’ve spoken to one who sounded honestly a bit nervous and referenced their child’s ages as exactly the “starting age” of the children in the role as described in her CV (eg said, my two daughters, 5 months and 2 years old rather than 5 and 7 which would be how old they are now - I just feel like a genuine parent would have described children as 5 and 7 and then said something like she started when youngest was a few months old or something like that rather than the exact starting ages?).

I’ve followed up and asked for his full name and wife’s full name and his work email, which he provided, but he doesn’t come up on LinkedIn / neither does company, although there is a website. Is there any other step I could reasonably do to verify this role existed?

I really like her but also don’t want to be relaxed about this considering my spidey senses are going off a bit… could I ask for payslips or something?

No of course you can’t. If you have any doubts, find someone else.

Is the reference from a nannying job, or a different type of role? If the former I wouldn't be that worried about whether the person was on Linkedin or not.

Though if you're already feeling like something is a bit off then your instincts are probably correct.

It’s a red flag to me and I’d probably pick someone else.

What is the other reference like?

Phone the other referee, in the knowledge that you suspect the first one to be untrue... frame.your questions accordingly..

The second reference hasn’t got back to me yet. Yes I think I’ll go in with maybe more stringent questions given my impression of the first reference. English wasn’t the reference’s first language so perhaps that could explain a bit.

He did say some details which were more on the spectrum of something a genuine referee would say so it’s not clear cut, I just wondered if there was some step in verification that everyone does that I am missing - eg oh yes I always get 3 months worth of pay slips or ask to see previous contract or something like that?

I really really really like the nanny so would be devastated to have to start the search again. Hopefully I’m just being paranoid as return to work is swiftly approaching and suddenly prospect of leaving baby with someone is a hard reality and no longer a remote thing of the future.

Do they not come up on facebook either?
Have you googled the phone number?

On the next one - chat around things a bit more.

What were their children into, favourite activities, how did meals work, that kind of stuff. Family life style. Outings, school run, tidying, laundry.

People’s recollection of exact dates won’t be spot on on general chat.

But loved / hated the park, made good spag Bol / didn’t cook will shed light.

Okay I spoke to second reference - chat gpt gave me the tip of asking what the ages of kids were when she started and “what age are they now?” When I asked this she asked me to repeat the question and then the line went dead - she called me back to apologise for the bad reception and then answered with children’s current ages. The rest of the reference was extremely glowing with particular nanny details etc and she gave details about the businesses she owns etc - all sounded fine and I was willing to overlook the call dropping off right at that question as just a hilarious coincidence given my paranoia. On the call I said I would follow up with an email to her professional email just to confirm dates in writing for my records - she said absolutely fine. Over text she has now given a generic personal email and said that her “company email has been blocked for a few weeks”. This is a red flag right! I have never heard of an email being blocked? And if so, how is she conducting business?

Yeah both of those sound fake. This nanny might seem lovely, but if both of her references are just her mates lying about her experience then that’s not ok.

Yes that’s really dodgy l. Even if you like her her references aren’t verified so just say you can’t verify the references.

Yeah this sounds really suspicious to me. Has she shared her DBS with you?

Deffo made up references.

@Fullofthejoysofspring she bought a hard copy to the interview and said she has applied for an updated one with little ones nanny agency.

It might be bad luck to have one slightly dodgy sounding reference, but for both of them to be sketchy is obviously not coincidence!

Did you find her through an agency? If so I'd let them know.

Little ones 🫣

I don’t have a great experience with them (as a nanny!) but they clearly haven’t done their own due diligence with references at all. And no agency should even be at the point of setting up interviews for you if you are without a current DBS! Christ alive. Plus you absolutely don’t have to go through the agency to obtain this. Anyone can apply to be on the update service and secure an enhanced DBS. What about a Paediatric First Aid certification, she is supposed to have done a course and have a certificate every three years.

Just putting different spin on it if I was providing a reference, I would not come up on Facebook or linkedin for you to find me as both are locked down and not search able due to the nature of my job I also would not be providing my work email address to you as the reference has nothing to do with work .

That’s interesting @Whereisthesun99, how is the potential employer to verify that you are who you say you are? I would have thought most references should provide work email, position etc like you would in a professional setting. Happy to be wrong though!

Likewise I wouldn’t give you my work email address (I have been asked for it many times as I am a referee for a lot of young people) but I just front foot it and say sorry I can’t use my work address! Scratching my head to think of futher ways you can check out this Nanny's credentials.

Sorry just to say that this isn’t the agency we have used, it’s who the nanny is applying for
updated DBS with as you need to apply through an agency I thought? Can’t do it directly. But Little Ones isn’t involved in any other capacity!

Yes although I dont understand why this would be an issue, I would still respect a referee who was clear about this (although I would ask for a third reference who was happy to provide) - it’s the “my work email is blocked” which is the part I’m a bit eek about.

I agree with these other couple of posters. You're trying to verify the nanny's references, and her previous employers were these parents. Who these parents are then employed by is none of your business, I wouldn't provide you with my work email address either.

In your analogy of a professional setting you're wanting a work email to verify that individual's previous employer is who they say they are, that's not the same here.

It all sounds very odd. I think your spidey senses are spot on here.

I don’t think that you can reasonably demand any personal details to verify the identity of the referees. They might offer it, or you can simply use publicly available information. But I don’t think you have any basis upon which to insist.

When living in London I once had a nanny apply to me who had previously worked for a separated celebrity couple - one half of which was a very famous and much admired male actor - should I have been able to demand his details? 😁😂😁

NB. It all came to nothing as she was snapped up by another family, no doubt by a mum who was keen to have that nanny reference conversation one-on-one!

No that’s absolutely not true- she may be registered with that agency too as obviously you can use more than one while searching for a nanny job, but you can apply directly. If you apply through an agency they do take care of a lot of the annoying paperwork but obviously they charge, so I don’t do that. I just wouldn’t dream of getting to the stage of my employer asking for references without having an up to date DBS certification or being searchable on the update service. That’s what makes me suspicious, not the references.