Help with childcare for 5 year old not in school

[chelseaminx00]

I've had to make the unfortunate decision to remove my son from school, until I can get him into another school I'm a bit stuck for childcare,

I don't work, me and my son have ADHD and I also have bipolar, I need some respite at some point even just 2 hours to go to the gym/ go to appointments that I can't take my son to/uninterrupted study as I'm learning coding, a few days a week, I can't really afford childcare so sticky one

Would also benefit him to still have some social interaction with other children and adults, I do not receive DLA for him as of yet, my parents live far away so isn't an option

Any ideas? Thankyou

Have you approached local childminders?

Are you homeschooling him? Have you joined a network of other homeschooling parents to find out more about it and how they provide social interactions for their children? What steps are you taking to get him into a new school?

@WonderingWanda Childminder is looking to be expensive honestly was going to have a ring round today

Well... It only happened yesterday so trying to get my ducks in order today you know

I'm picking up work from the school as well as our own curriculum, I'm in a few homeschooling groups as I was homeschooled myself, currently none, there's legal procedures going on for the moment due to the nature of the incident I don't know for certain if he will be able to return or if I will have to change him schools

How much childcare are you looking for and what can you afford to pay? Bluntly, you will generally have to pay unless it is school. You could look at:

• babysitters for 1 offs, likely more expensive per hour
• childminder for a regular slot a couple of times a week - may get expensive as they may want a minimum of hours
• drop-off clubs where he can have fun and you don't need to stay. Downside is they might not be very long

Where we live, there are funded (free to you) places on some holiday clubs for people who are eligible. You could investigate this for half term.

Tbf if there are issues with the school, will he be okay in childcare that’s not specialist? (I may be barking up the wrong tree entirely, but if the problems stem from needs not being met this may be the same with ‘normal’ childcare)

Unfortunately it’s likely you’ll just have to lump it. Taking kids to appointments is never fun but most essential places will understand if you’re in a pinch. You can always try and make it a bit more fun by having games/books that only come out for appointments which makes it feel a bit more ‘special’.
You could see if you can swap your gym membership to one that has a crèche? Our local one runs to 5yos.
Coding etc you can do in the evenings when he’s asleep. I’d also suggest getting as much housework etc done during the day as you can, whilst he’s distracted (books/work/TV) so you can get some rest once he’s asleep!
Find out your local home Ed groups - we have quite a few SEN ones locally too. Normally the good ones require parents to be quite hands on, but at the very least it’s good to connect with people going through the same thing. You might also find parents happy to ‘trade’ childcare there.
Also highly recommend looking at local trampoline parks/soft plays and taking advantage of cheap midweek toddler deals (most are 0-5s) ~ our local trampoline park is £6 midweek and bar lots of tots in the little kids area (which we avoid) my ADHD nephew has the run of the rest of the place and burns off SO much energy. It’s my go to if I’m roped in for a day to help out, and I can even bring my laptop and move round the place with him to keep an eye on him whilst knocking out emails.

I really feel for you. I work so have an ‘escape’ in that sense but it got very suffocating with DS very fast being the only adult around in the years I couldn’t afford the odd babysitter here and there. Hope you get something sorted with schools soon 🤞

I can't go into detail but he's just not safe at that particular school, he will be fine in a different provider hes a chatterbox and will talk to everyone lol and although he may need some extra help in some areas he's fine in mainstream school/providers

I have appointments that are a harsh no for children, i have tried ☹️ alot are to do with my mental health which is impossible to navigate because they are a must such as therapy and my psychiatrist appointments

There's a virgin active with a kids club 20 miles away bit of a pinch and will cost me nearly 200 quid to go to the gym ughhh 🥹 he's 6 as well so a lot doesn't apply to him

I'm tempted to ring my current gym as it's family run and ask if hed be fine sitting in the corner on his tablet for an hour but highly doubt they'd allow it due to health and safety and insurance

Thankyou for the advice

I think you’ll probably struggle with finding anywhere who can take a school age child during school hours as they just aren’t set up for it.

You could try posting on a local Facebook group (anonymously if possible) seeing if there’s someone, possibly a bit older, with a childcare/education/nursing background who would like to do a bit of ad hoc childcare and maybe be a bit of local support to you both.

A childminder who minds only school
age children (ie after school and holidays) may be interested in taking a child in. temporary assignment for a couple of hours a day three days a week or whatever for extra cash. There wouldn’t be any interaction with other kids if it was during the school day, though.

Students will be home for the summer soon and there's lots looking for work. Plenty round here sell themselves as "nannies" even though they really mean baby sitters. Someone who's a student teacher or nurse might be interested in the "work experience" and a bit of cash in hand.

This is absolutely madness! He needs to be in school. I should imagine that if you’ve suddenly removed him from school there may well be a safeguarding referral already going through. You say the issue is with the school not with your DS, so contact the LA today - school admissions - and get him into another school pronto.

You can’t just have any old random looking after a child! Have you never heard of safeguarding?

@Soontobe60 people do come with references and police checks!!

If you want him in school then that sounds like your best bet.
Otherwise a childminder but you will have to pay.

Call your LA and ask for all the local schools with spaces.

@chelseaminx00

Why did you remove him from his school?

I used to work with SEND children. I suggest you speak to your local disabled children service. They maybe able to support you with appointment visits. They will also help you navigate getting him into an alternative school, which I know from experience is incredibly difficult for a mainstream child, let alone a child with additional needs.

Sounds to me like you’ve little other option than a childminder.
The things you mention should be manageable though without one. Surely you can do your coding while he’s in bed? Hobbies like the gym are going to have to wait till he’s back in school. You can’t make the decision to take your child out of school and expect to still have me time. I’m not saying it wasn’t the right decision, but right now you simply can’t do it all and your child has to come first.
It may be that you have to miss a few appointments until he’s sorted in a new school which I would think would be a high priority for the LA, so it shouldn’t be for too long.
People who homeschool have made the decision to do so because their set up allows them to do this. They either don’t work or only work part time/evenings and most likely either have to give up free time or have a good network of supports to allow them to have hobbies and attend appointments. It doesn’t sound like it suits your situation so he needs to be in school asap.

No friends you could trade childcare with? Homeschool friends? You do some English for them in return for 2 hours of maths from them?

OR hire a tutor for a couple of hours out of school hours. They have DBS already because most tutors are teachers and the childcare will be thrown in and they can also cover an area of his curriculum that you are less good at.

Can you include your child in your exercise so he comes with you on a scooter and you run/walk etc.

have you given the school time to sort out the incident if it happened recently and put steps in place.

there is no free childcare in the school day. Have you called admissions to see where there is space for your child to move to on an in year transfer?

have you deregistered him from school yet?

you can apply for an EHCP as a parent and don’t need a school to do it for you.

You can get a babysitter for weekends/evenings.

it won’t solve the appointments problem but it’ll give you time to study.

we used local teens (try posting on local facebook page) or sitters.com

It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate OP, do you have a social worker you could talk to about a few hours respite per week/month? Or you could contact local colleges or university and see if there are teaching/childcare students who might want a babysitting jobs for a few hours?

So you’ve removed him from school and are going to sit him in a corner with an iPad while you got to the gym … or you’re expecting what? Government funding for childcare while you do this?? If you’ve taken his out of school you need to school him …. not find childcare while you carry on with your daily life! This situation sounds crazy!

As you need ad hoc childcare for appointments, I would contact a babysitting agency and just book by the hour when you have appointments...this will probably be more expensive per hour than a childminder...but a childminder is more likely to want set days/hours...also once he returns to school or a new school, you'll probably need to give notice. I think then a childminder may end up as more expensive as I doubt many will be happy to do a couple of hours a week...I could be wrong.

It does sound a bit nuts that you want childcare but don’t want to pay for it and are asking if there’s any magic options?

I think your best bet is a local teenager (neighbour?) that could do after their school hours for a bit eg 4-6pm. My 4 yo often goes to our next door neighbour (13) to play after school for a bit and I pay her. But there is another adult in the house

He’s 5, don’t let him rule your life. Send him back to school and the teachers can deal with it

Drop off forest schools
Drop off private tutor group/lessons for your child's key stage.
Home-ed child minders.
You may need to look at applying for a reduced contract/swapping your hours for different times/working part time for 3 months to establish connections.

She says he isn't safe at the school and there are legal proceedings ongoing . This isn't about him ruling her life! It's about him protecting him.
OP your LA needs to provide suitable education for your child and if he had an EHCP that plan should name that provision that meets his need. Does he have an EHCP? If not ask your LA to do an assesment. It's not an immediate solution but it could help eventually.
Meanwhile ask your LA to provide him with an alternative place.