Help with childcare for 5 year old not in school

[chelseaminx00]

I've had to make the unfortunate decision to remove my son from school, until I can get him into another school I'm a bit stuck for childcare,

I don't work, me and my son have ADHD and I also have bipolar, I need some respite at some point even just 2 hours to go to the gym/ go to appointments that I can't take my son to/uninterrupted study as I'm learning coding, a few days a week, I can't really afford childcare so sticky one

Would also benefit him to still have some social interaction with other children and adults, I do not receive DLA for him as of yet, my parents live far away so isn't an option

Any ideas? Thankyou

It's called baby sitting and very common to ask the older children of your friends, or ask around locally. So, not really a random off the street, but yes, not a thorough background check.

Yes, do you have a keyworker for your MH? If you are becoming overwhelmed with trying to balance your son's and your needs I think you need support and advice from professionals rather than Mumsnet (which can be mean, so not a good idea if you're feeling vulnerable).

Where is his dad? Can’t he help?

I can't really afford childcare so sticky one

To be frank, you've said it in your op already. I'm not sure what magic answer you're expecting.

If you can't afford childcare (even a teen babysitter will need paying) - then you don't have childcare 🤷‍♀️ Unless of course you do have a friend or neighbour who would do you a favour, for free.

At 6, you can't simply abandon him alone in the foyer of xyz for an hour and just hope he's there when you come back 🥴

Do you think it’s in your child’s interest to sit in the corner of the gym for an hour whilst you work out?

He's 5 if he's not in school you're legally obligated to give him an education. That means you'll need to stop doing your own things and concentrate on his needs!

The problem is that the OP has significant MH issues and without any more info, nobody can say for sure if the threat to her son's safety is perceived danger or actual danger. Or whether the safety issue is actual physical harm/potential death or something much softer like disagreement about teaching methods or certain staff members.

The actual chances of a 5 year old child being seriously injured in school is vanishingly small. Age definitely plays a role here because serious bullying or physical danger is extremely unlikely amongst 5 year olds compared to teenagers.

As a PP has mentioned, making a school age child sit in the corner of a gym with an iPad and spending every day alone sounds more detrimental to his education and development than attending a few more weeks of his current school until a new school is found. If an effort is underway to find a new school why not just wrap up attending the current one instead of taking him out and expecting options for cheap or free, full-day childcare (?)

It is hard to advise OP without knowing the circumstances of what has happened. It depends on whether it is something you deem unsafe or something the LA deems unsafe. I would speak to your LA and possibly the SEN team, he is entitled to an education and if he genuinely isn't safe there then they should urgently be looking for an alternative and push for them to provide a tutor whilst they find him an alternative.

Do you recieve support from adult social care?

If you’re home educating, which it sounds like you are, you need to make sure the childcare is Ofsted registered I’m sure. And a lot of childminders don’t want the responsibility of a CSA child.

I think you’ll struggle tbh. I home ed and don’t have childcare. My daughter just has to come with me. It’s hard but there’s no way around it.

You can do both! Education doesn’t have to be formal. Obviously you can’t spend your days playing tennis and getting your nails done, but you can still live a normal life whilst home educating.

Yes I know; I know several families who homeschool but none of them prioritise going to the gym while making their child sit in the corner of the gym on their iPad!

What a horrible way to deal with your child’s problems. And what has being five got to do with it?

My daughter was six when her anxiety surrounding school became so bad that she was having a full blown panic attack nightly. We took her out and have never looked back. She’s 8, thriving and happy.

I do wonder when people say crap like this, do they even like their child? You’d be happy to just force them into an environment that they can’t cope with? It’s not your problem, it’s the school’s?

Unbelievably cold and cruel. I’m so glad that I’m not like you. Children end their lives over stuff like this. I couldn’t stand to see my child suffer so we acted on it. I know it’s not as easy for everyone but your attitude of ‘let him get on with it’ is disgraceful.

Yeah there’s no magic solution here. You need to get him back to school or adjust your life to homeschool appropriately.

Have you been diagnosed as bipolar? I imagine if you have taken your child out of school with no back up provision then you will likely have had a safe guarding referral already. If not- it sounds like you do urgently need SW input. There is a lot going on here and I think you do need a lot of support.

I agree with every word and this is what I was trying to say too in my smaller message. Send the poor boy to school, it’s not going to him any good isolating!

He’s 5. It sounds to me more of a mum problem than an actual incident at school

If you’re prepared to stick him on a tablet in the corner at the gym while you pay to use it, use that money to pay for a childminder instead?

Many people have a gym contract that lasts 12 months or whatever, so the money may not be available to re-direct.

That’s true, fair enough. It’s moot anyway since it doesn’t sound like the OP wants to pay for any sort of structured regular childcare which is what a childminder would provide.

I think, TBF, it will be quite hard to find a CM who would cover a few hours a day, a few days a week, for a few weeks (assuming that the DS will be back at the current or a new school as soon as the issue is resolved/another place becomes available).

Op call the lea and ask which schools have placed and get him into school asap. School is where he needs to be, not at a gym on an iPad. Homeschooling is hard work and needs to be approached carefully, not to be taken lightly

I had similar with my 8 year old, couldn’t attend school due to unmet Sen needs. We were seen by the educational welfare team as I didn’t deregister him ( I was pushing the local authority for a school place). I had to provide an education for him, my life was put on hold for 6 months and he was with me constantly. I also have severe mental health issues (schizophrenia) and I got on with it as there isn’t much choice to do otherwise!!! It is hard son has adhd and autism so has his own issues. We managed and he had an education whilst he wasn’t actually in school. I certainly didn’t get an hour to myself to go to the gym!!! I think you need to assess your priorities, my mental health took a massive hit but it had to to keep him going.

You either pay for childcare so you can continue with the gym or you quit until he's back in school there is no magical free option. As parents we make sacrifices and don't get alot if any free time

It would be better if people didn’t just fixate on the gym. OP also needs time for her medical appointments and coding work and DS needs some external stimulation, ideally with peers. This isn’t some whine about exercise.

It’s actually none of your business! OP isn’t asking anyone to assess the threat to her DS. She’s asking about childcare options for a very tricky situation. She’s not obligated to give you any information about what’s happened and has already said she can’t. Honestly some people on here need to wind their neck in.