Help with childcare for 5 year old not in school

[chelseaminx00]

I've had to make the unfortunate decision to remove my son from school, until I can get him into another school I'm a bit stuck for childcare,

I don't work, me and my son have ADHD and I also have bipolar, I need some respite at some point even just 2 hours to go to the gym/ go to appointments that I can't take my son to/uninterrupted study as I'm learning coding, a few days a week, I can't really afford childcare so sticky one

Would also benefit him to still have some social interaction with other children and adults, I do not receive DLA for him as of yet, my parents live far away so isn't an option

Any ideas? Thankyou

I'm picking up work from the school as well as our own curriculum

So are you not electively home educating? If you aren’t EHE, if DS cannot attend school full-time and is compulsory school age (depends on when he turned 5), the LA is responsible for ensuring he still receives a suitable full-time education. You can request this provision. If DS is unable to attend because of his SEN, this should be in place as soon as it becomes clear 15 days will be missed. These days don’t have to be consecutive. And provision should begin by the sixth day at the latest. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

As well as this, request an EHCNA. IPSEA also has a model letter for this.

Have you applied for DLA?

Have you requested social care assessments? A carer’s assessment (and maybe an assessment of your own needs) for you and an assessment of DS’s needs. On their website, Contact has model letters you can use. Also, look at your local short breaks offer.

The situation isn't ideal in the slightest I'm just making sure I'm not overwhelmed and I have a break myself so I'm in the best frame for him so I'm seeing if there's help out there, it's an hour a day he'll be playing games on his tablet hardly anything to be upset about the rest of the day he's learning or playing or asking me questions or bouncing off his endless energy, it's alot and it's not easy it's just one thing I want to keep going while I focus every other ounce of energy on making sure he's happy healthy and flourishing

Of course I wasnt going to abandon him jheez that'd be nuts I mean have him next to me in the gym

1 hour 2 or 3 days a week is hardly all day or detrimental and he was seriously and irrevocably harmed, this issue will involve police and social services it isn't one to be taken lightly at all, until all this is over I don't know if he will be returning so he is doing schoolwork and homework until then, I just need a bit of respite so I'm not overstretched and feeling overwhelmed what's the difference between him having an hour on his iPad at home on the sofa or in a gym maybe even learning fitness at the same time from his mummy 🤷🏼‍♀️ pe lesson maybe?

I think you won’t be allowed to bring him into the actual gym - and actually if your gym allows this I’d be quite concerned about their safety standards! If you want to exercise together you can do that at home- go on a run / bike ride, get some cheap free weights and have him lift cans of soup or similar, do workout videos together. Appreciate you need some time to focus on yourself but I don’t think the gym is the option. Maybe use the iPad time to work on your studies and
brainstorm options to safely exercise with him.

Could you see if there's a bounce class near you? They are trampoline based cardio to music..it's a lot fun and you can wear wrist weights. A lot of them have child friendly sessions so he'd be able to sit on his tablet and some will let them use the trampoline if you book them a spot

I've had meetings with the head we are in regular contact and they send work home they completely understand and are doing everything they can currently but honestly even they don't know how to deal with the current situation it's one you'd never wish to come across you know?

I think it will ultimately be less stressful for you if you accept that you will have to suspend your ordinary activities (skip the gym, rearrange appointments) until the school issue is resolved and he's back in a school. The reality is that there isn't any cheap, flexible childcare option.

Have you got a David Lloyd Gym near you? They aren't cheap but they do have creches and quite a few kids/family activities. I think unfortunately your decision to take your child out of school which is the state provided, free childcare for his age group, means that if you don't want to care for him all the time, you are going to have to pay for someone else to look after him. The other thing would be to see if a local childminder would have him some sessions a week, or pay for baby sitters. I get you pain, and I know of other parents who are struggling with full time home education for a variety of reasons, but I think you are going to have to throw money at this.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/holiday-activities-and-food-programme/holiday-activities-and-food-programme-2025

If you are on a low income, you might be entitled to free holiday clubs.

Sounds to me that you need a direct payments needs assessment. Social services will assess what support you as a carer needs and hopefully award you some respite hours where you can employ a pa to give you respite. I work with a different range of children with different needs, some are paid via education and some are paid for via social care. Do not un enrol him.

If you want someone to take care of your child you need to pay for it! Childcare is expensive. Why? Because the people taking care of your child are experienced and have went through training. They deserve to be paid fairly. Would you do a job you trained for and spent years gaining experience for half or quarter of the price just because outsiders think it's too expensive?

I understand the medical appointments but other things like the gym are just going to have to wait if you can't afford to pay for it.

Unfortunately having your child around all the time because they are not in school means making huge sacrifices with your own time. You can’t afford childcare so ultimately you can’t have him in childcare. It’s hard going having a home ed kid. I have given up so much to enable my teen to have a better life than he did in school. Sometimes I miss the freedom but mostly I just see a mentally better kid and that’s makes it all worth it.

OP - I am sorry to hear you and your DS are in such a tricky spot. Having MH illness myself alongside various issues and then ND kiddo's, I appreciate it is a lot when something goes wrong. Also totally get that there are some appointments that you can't miss and equally your DS can't go to.

Have you got a CPN/named care worker? I think maybe it would be good to reach out to them about the situation as it sounds so stressful, it is no doubt having an impact, and by reaching out to them they may be able to involve other agencies to ensure there is support for you and for your DS.

In my postpartum, I was unwell during school holidays and did need to attend to see crisis team, which of course is far from ideal whilst looking after children and yet much needed that I saw crisis team to ensure I could keep looking after children!
As a temporary thing, a member of staff was able to sit with the children and occupy them whilst I did the appointments. Of course not a solution long term but may be worth exploring for the right now as more than anything, you need your mental health in a stable place to be managing this all and taking care of your mental health is also taking care of your son.

I hope you will both be okay and that things get easier for you both soon.

A kid sitting on an iPad at the gym every now and then is not a huge deal and I don’t know why some of these posters are acting like it is 🤣 Calm down. If the child is going to have occasional screen time anyway, what difference does it make if it’s at home or at the gym?

hope you can find him a new school soon, OP.

Are you on universal credit? Have you looked into whether they would pay 85% of childcare fees? I don't think there's is a cut off age for this.

Why would they pay childcare fees?

I think the presumption is that a school age child would be in school, but there might be help with after school childcare or holiday clubs.

i can take my kids with me to my gym (I don’t cos my 2 year old would be a nightmare!) but others do. I had a friend in a similar situation and she bought her son with her with either Lego challenges or work books.

Could you look at any parent and child classes you could do together? And maybe a sports class your DS could attend and you could go for a run or walk whilst he attends.

Remember this isn’t for ever…

You could try this charity and see if they have anything in your area. One of the things they provide is playgrounds for children with SEN where the kids can be dropped off and are looked after there and the cost is minimal but you may need to be referred by your local social services. Even if it’s after school provision it would still allow you to use the gym or schedule appointments later in the day. They also offer lots of advice and support

https://www.kids.org.uk/find-a-service/

I've tried to attach a screen shot which may take a moment to load.

UC will not need details of the times of the child care. They simply need an invoice from a registered childcare provider and they will reimburse op in the next assessment period. The fact is the child requires care for the OP to do her coding course. There are no questions about the timings of the care.

I'm only assuming she is on UC as she has mentioned looking at DLA and hasn't mentioned working a lot.

Her first post says that she doesn't work and point two in the detailed breakdown of your image says that the parent needs to be working.

You're right, sorry. My first post about UC did ask if she was on UC but I missed the bit about her not working. Then the screenshot more answered the pp's query of "why would they pay?"

Surely that’s for working parents?

No I meant why would they pay for OP given she doesn’t have a job.