We had au pairs in early mid 2000s, when our ds were both at primary
it is a two way deal OP, and it’s not something to take on expecting the au pair to “relieve” work load from you.
their benefit is language- total immersion and an expectation they will need to be studying for a lot of hours. they do this immersion by living with a British family speaking English and learn cultural aspects as well. They expect full board and lodging and some spending money. They need assistance with getting them set up with language school, social interactions and navigation around the area. But they expect to hang around with family and interact all the time- that’s a major source of how they learn the language.
in return for this they do work that can be considered a “sibling” type level support with younger school age kids. And an elder “child” requirements for support with household tasks. That would include some periods of unsupervised care for younger school age kids in terms of ensuring their safety is guarded and a basic routine like homework is done, and giving them help where needed. The au pairs got a lot out of just doing reading time with our ds- they learnt some very strange English based on a total submersion of Harry Potter 🤣🤣. But it’s mostly just mucking around with them, playing games, going to park etc until parents get home from work. We took on aupair becuase we needed someone to walk kids to school and then collect and walk back, and supervise until we got home around 5-5:30pm. They also “helped” with some basic chores like keeping the family bathroom clean (they shared this with ds) and doing DS washing and ironing, basic kitchen stuff that needed doing if they saw it like cleaning worktops, unloading dish washer. But not a huge amount - and again in line with what you’d expect an adult child to do if they were living at home.
we did try a couple of young women. To be frank it wasn’t a great success. Our 2 ds didn’t really relate to them, and they were homesick and stuck to me as glue wanting to do “girly” stuff . Both were also form big cities and had no concept of rural life styles. I also fretted about them using public transport at night.
We switched within 6 months to male unpairs and didn’t look back for 5 years. all our lads came form eastern block type countries and had done national service- they were already a bit independant and were used to, frankly, being given orders and following them. We had 3 in that time, all stayed beyond their 1 year contract. Our ds benefitted hugely from these big brother relationships - so did the other mums on our estate as all the young men would organise football games in park after school etc. 🤷🏼♀️🤣. I’m still in touch 20 years later with 2 of them and follow their interesting and full lives they’ve had . Both are married now with children of their own.
but it was hard work- we acquired an elder son each time that we needed to “care” for as well. They had their own ups and downs at time whether it was “girl friend” trouble, issues back home and needing to get home in a hurry, issues with their language course, health problems needing help navigating GPS, nhs and hospitals, getting stuck with public transport etc…just normal young adult stuff where their lack of knowledge of culture and way things work in uk meant they needed extra support, despite their age and experience at national service.
au pair is not a replacement for nannies. It is not a “cheap” form of childcare. It may mean spending less money, but it is more work on a personal level in terms of having an extra adult child in the family, and one that, upon arrival, doesn’t speak much English. In return you get small hours of supervision for older children which is above all flexible, which is what we needed, and some basic household tasks being done.
id certainly never have an aupair with children that couldn’t talk themselves, and needed active care, as in an 18 month old. Too much of a safe guarding risk.