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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Struggling with how much I should/ shouldn't let slide with my childminder...

125 replies

laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:11

I get that her job is incredibly hard and she can't give every single kid the same amount of attention all the time, so I have let a lot of stuff slide but I'm just wondering if I'm being a pushover?

Some things that have concerned me..

Picked my daughter up (now just over a year old) and she hasn't had her nappy changed all day, she was there 6 hours

Gave my daughter peanut butter and she had an allergic reaction, also threw up whole chunks of grapes that hadn't been chewed

Swaddles my daughter for a nap with her arms inside the swaddle and an eye mask on

My daughter has never had nappy rash but has got it after a few months of being there

I've just been to pick her up and she had a biscuit wrapper in her mouth..

Honestly don't know if I'm being OTT or a pushover. Started off so well she used to send me pictures throughout the day however now I don't even receive a single text. I'm also never invited into the house handovers are always in the porch with the front door shut.

But my daughter seems to enjoy it there although obviously I don't know for sure as she can't tell me. Ugh so frustrating please knock some sense into me.

OP posts:
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Somethingintheattic · 13/06/2023 17:16

On MN you usually get responses from posters saying that childminders are 'saints'. This is not what I have found but felt tied to the two childminders I used because of a shortage of local childminders and my job - spent a lot of time feeling 'grateful' whilst spending a lot of money. Give me my time again I would have found another way. The nappy alone would make me think twice.

MaybeBabyTwo · 13/06/2023 17:19

These are safety issues. Will you wish you spoke up before if your daughter chokes and dies on a wrapper?

Things to let slide with a childminder are things like clothes being stained with paint, watching a bit too much TV some days etc. Not issues where your child's physical health is at risk.

modgepodge · 13/06/2023 17:20

Does your daughter have a known peanut allergy? Or was it the first time? If the latter, that’s really unfortunate but could have happened with you. How she handled the reaction is key. If it’s a known allergy that’s appalling.

everything else is not good at all in my view. I probably wouldn’t leave over it but I would raise concerns with her.

BerriesPineCones · 13/06/2023 17:22

Picked my daughter up (now just over a year old) and she hasn't had her nappy changed all day, she was there 6 hours

Not good

Gave my daughter peanut butter and she had an allergic reaction, also threw up whole chunks of grapes that hadn't been chewed

Did she know she was allergic?

Swaddles my daughter for a nap with her arms inside the swaddle and an eye mask on

Doesn't sound right

My daughter has never had nappy rash but has got it after a few months of being there

Not good

I've just been to pick her up and she had a biscuit wrapper in her mouth..

Bad. Could have choked

No I don't think you're overreacting

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:22

If the child is old enough for food they are too old for swaddling. How old is dd?

BerriesPineCones · 13/06/2023 17:23

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:22

If the child is old enough for food they are too old for swaddling. How old is dd?

Just over a year old

SootspriteSearcher · 13/06/2023 17:24

Just one of those would make me question keeping my child there.

Nappies should be changed at least twice during a 6 hour day. No wonder she has nappy rash especially in this hot weather.

I would be fuming at the nuts and allergic reaction. Most childcare settings are nut free environments due to the risk of reactions. As for the whole grapes, they are a massive choking risk.

These are just the things you know about and have observed, your daughter is not old enough to feed back about her day so what else is she not doing?

I would request a meeting to discuss these issues and hopefully things improve.

Original poster
laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:25

@Somethingintheattic Tbf I couldn't do her job.. but then again I wouldn't. Her husband quit his job to work with her so they could take on more kids but how much he actually helps out I'm not sure. But she's a council registered childminder and has the best reviews in my area so idk what to think.

@modgepodge I hear what you're saying. I don't like confrontation and worry if I start pulling her up on things it'll be awkward. I just honestly wasn't sure if I was being too precious.

@modgepodge @BerriesPineCones No we didn't know about the peanut butter allergy to be fair, and if she had asked me if she could give her some I probably would've said yes. What concerned me more was what she threw up when she was having her reaction!

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 13/06/2023 17:25

I would take my child out immediately. Is she a registered child minder?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:25

BerriesPineCones · 13/06/2023 17:23

Just over a year old

Show quote history

Are you the OP? Have you name changed?

SideProfile · 13/06/2023 17:25

I’m quite laid back and wouldn’t be impressed with any of these.

Is it a known allergy? When you say chunks of grapes, do you mean entire grapes?

what kind of eye mask? Is it a strangulation hazard? I’ve never heard of a sleep mask for babies. And the swaddling is a no no.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:26

Sorry ignore me I couldn't see the age in the ops post

GrazingSheep · 13/06/2023 17:26

Whole grapes are a serious choking hazard. How does she not know not to give them to toddlers.

GrazingSheep · 13/06/2023 17:27

Sorry - just see you said whole chunks of grapes.

Original poster
laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:27

They weren't whole grapes but they were huge. She threw up on the kitchen floor and I couldn't work out what they were they were huge and swallowed whole. I text her and asked what else she had eaten today and nothing she mentioned was what I was seeing so I sent her a picture and she said oh and she had some grapes.

OP posts:
AllIwantforChristmas22 · 13/06/2023 17:28

Frankly OP i would take her out. These are safety concerns and not changing a nappy in 6 hours is not acceptable.

I also do handover at the porch and never go inside anymore but I have no reason to be concerned.
eye mask is inappropriate for a baby, same for giving big grapes, and that she had access to plastic. All huge safety risks.

all professional CM are Council registered, doesn’t mean anything.

SideProfile · 13/06/2023 17:28

Also you agree it’s a tough job, which it is, but you’re paying her good money and trusting her to care for the thing most precious to you

Original poster
laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:28

@SideProfile It's a baby sleep mask from Amazon but I read that they shouldn't be worn with no one in the room, I believe they are a strangulation hazard.

She's 14 months to be exact.

OP posts:
ronconcoke · 13/06/2023 17:29

I would start looking for another childminder/nursery. This one doesn't sound safe. Everything else aside, I find it weird that she does the handover with the door closed (unless it's to stop children running out - but presumably she must have her husband/another adult inside with them at the time).

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:30

Certain things to get her to act on immediately

  • nut free in her home (she may not want to do this so I'd end the contract if she cant)
  • stop swaddling and eye masks at naptime
  • log nappy changes, meals etc so you can see.
Original poster
laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:30

My friend has a friend who is a childminder and she would love to have her and has space, but I felt guilty rocking the boat and taking her out because she's used to it there now. But hearing that I'm not being OTT about these things, I think I'm gonna start about changing.

OP posts:
BerriesPineCones · 13/06/2023 17:31

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/06/2023 17:25

Are you the OP? Have you name changed?

Show quote history

No I'm not the op. I was letting you know how old the dd is as it says in the opening post

Original poster
laydownsally · 13/06/2023 17:37

Not sure how to go about giving her my notice without the last month being awkward af. Also if she's this lax with my baby now she might be even more lax if she knows we're leaving anyway.

OP posts:
wincarwoo · 13/06/2023 17:40

Can you remove her immediately and move to the other CM? Suck up the extra fees.

I use a childminder and would not tolerate any of what you are reporting.

GrazingSheep · 13/06/2023 17:43

I would also report her.