Should Granny be allowed to give Grandchild treats?

[GrandmaNelly]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Question is in the heading, but to give a bit of background…
I babysit a grandchild for my DD and a grandchild for my DS. I look after each child 2 days a week. On one day I have both, the other times I have them separate. DS and DDIL did not want grandchild to have treats until he was 18 months. Grandchild is now nearly two. I give both grandchildren the odd treat (crisps, biscuit, chocolate), but DS and DDIL don’t want me to and say they want to give all the treats. I find this difficult when I have both grandchildren together as DD has always allowed treats.
I want to address this but suspect if there is a falling out they will cut all contact and my grandchildren mean everything to me, so I’m scared of that happening. Any advice on how I can approach this or what you would do? Please be kind to an old grandma full of worry.

Should Apples etc only be used as treats? If they are part of a normal diet they are no more treats than bread, meat or cheese ....so just call it a snack ....but what your not getting is dad walks in grabs the biscuits and stuffs one in the child's hands the very biscuit he would have taken the child away from granny for giving an hour earlier. That's the shitty thing.

Makes a miserable Saturday afternoon

I am a grandmother myself and I will never give my grandkids crisps, chocolates etc (not even Easter eggs) because I dont' want them to like me just for giving them unhealthy "treats".

I don't care what their parents give them as it is beyond my control.

Not even an Easter egg? Bloody hell ☹️ You know they will see you as more than a bar of chocolate if you give them one (or many), right?

Good grief.

You think they'll ONLY like you for the Easter Egg? As I said upthread, my kids have lovely memories of their grandma 'spoiling them' as children. But it wasn't about the treats, it was about the absolute unconditional love she had for them, which she showed in many ways. One of which was sharing her own love of chocolate!

She lived a few hours away, and when they'd get a random bar of chocolate through the post from her, they felt loved and thought of.

Amazingly they're healthy eating adults, and they know how to love, because they've been so generously loved themselves.

Amen!

I’m sure they’ll find your senses of humor a right laugh.

I can see how this has transpired, the OP seems to have a very warped view of what is suitable for a 1 year old. The parents of the child are principally fine with the DC having small occasional appropriate treats but knows the OP's approach and views so they choose to give the treats them self.

Where does the OP say the parents of the child are principally fine with the DC having small occasional appropriate treats?

But times have changed. We now know how bad sugar is for kids and we now have an obesity and diabetes crisis.

How many people are obese or have diabetes because chocoates, crisps and other unhealthy "treats" became normalised as an everyday (and often multiple times per day) occurence?

Kids should not eat between meals.

And if they have to eat between meals, it needs to be a healthy snack not rubbish.

Hopefully they will be laughing when they don't get diabetes or become obese like most adults in the UK.

I meant most adults are overweight in the UK, not obese, although 25% are obese which is bad enough.

Actually the NHS recommends 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, they just recommend healthy ones (so not chocolate bars, crisps, biscuits like OP wants to give).

Kids don't need treats and if their parents dint want them to have them then don't give them. Can't you buy them a comic instead ?

Good grief @IMustDoMoreExercise - you need to relax more and take a more balanced approach to food. Children don't get obese because they've had an Easter egg, or a cupcake at granny's when they go twice a week.

Why would you need to give a toddler crisps or chocolate? Can't you at least offer yo-yo bears or something sugary but vaguely fruit related?

Christ. She's their granny, not a Norland nanny.

My granny looked after me one day a week. Every week she bought a box of M and S blackcurrant sundaes and dsis and I had one. It was the highlight of my week! I feel for you OP you sound lovely.

She already gives fruit and if the parents want yo-yo bears (laden with sugar btw) then they can provide them - and perhaps stop giving their child a biscuit when they pick him/her up from granny's house.

The DS is indicating this by giving treats himself. He is obviously not anti treats

That's right - but at no point did the OP say they were fine with small occasional appropriate treats.

Of course they do because it is not once a month it is probably every day.. Then add in the number of birthday parties etc.

Why are 2/3 of the adult population obsese then if crisps, chocolates, do no harm?

Because their parents didn’t teach them “all things in moderation” and self control.

Yes that's right - every day in vast quantities. No moderation there.

To not give your grandchildren a small Easter egg is so extreme (unless they are babies) that I wonder about your relationship with food.