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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is it ok to leave baby with grandparents to go on honeymoon?

120 replies

Demacrexsigma · 15/10/2022 10:58

11 month old dilemma

Me and my husband got married in March 2020, just before Covid hit and closed everything off. So we rebooked our honeymoon like three times so as not to lose the money. At the end of the third booking we had to cancel as they’d upped the costs by an extra £3000 and as both of us were on furlough still we couldn’t afford that so we cancelled. We only got half our money back and the rest the airline kept so we had to book another holiday by January 2022, which we have for June 2023.
We didn’t quite expect that I’d get pregnant quite so quickly after trying and welcome our firstborn in July 2022. However we can’t afford to upgrade the tickets to accommodate the baby as well and as it’s our honeymoon too to Disneyland.
Its booked for 18 days and my parents are completely fine to have him for those many days, but I’m worried as an 11 month old he’s not going to be happy and going to miss us too much even with video calls every day.
Is it better to just lose the £2500 and book somewhere around the UK to take him with us, or would he be ok with the grandparents?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

blebbleb · 15/10/2022 10:59

If you're happy to leave baby for 18 days I'd go for it. Enjoy your honeymoon!

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/10/2022 11:00

18 days is a very long time. What’s the longest you’ve left him before? Only you know what you’re comfortable with and how he and the grandparents would cope.

MrsTimRiggins · 15/10/2022 11:00

Personally I wouldn’t. My boy is 11 months old and I can’t imagine leaving him for that long. I don’t think you sound comfortable about it either.
Its a lot of money to lose, I don’t envy that choice!

Brookland · 15/10/2022 11:01

I personally couldn't leave my children for that long but it's your child so it's your decision.

MbatataOwl · 15/10/2022 11:02

I'd go. The baby will be fine.

Wardrobemalfunction22 · 15/10/2022 11:02

How much time will he spend with grandparents before you plan to go away? Does he/will he see them every week? Stay overnight? There's a huge difference between leaving a baby somewhere unfamiliar for 18 days with leaving them somewhere they go all the time.

Anneofwindypoplars · 15/10/2022 11:02

My honest opinion is no, it is not okay.

We had something similar: planned to go on safari for milestone birthday, couldn’t. Had a baby instead, I’ll go on safari for my fiftieth.

But … there are an awful lot of posts like this at the moment!

WaltzingWaters · 15/10/2022 11:03

Could you still go but for a shorter time? I’d love that time with my DH and would hate to lose that kind of money but I couldn’t leave my baby for that long.

PragmaticWench · 15/10/2022 11:05

So he's around two months at the moment? I suppose you have nine months to get him used to spending lots of time with your parents. I left my youngest for three nights when he was 18 months, with DH looking after him, and was desperate to get back to him by the end of the trip. Personal preference though.

washingbasketqueen · 15/10/2022 11:05

18 days is too long. I couldn't leave my dc that long- unless I had to. A week max at that age, but as it's Disneyland I'd rather pay more and take then with us. How much extra is it?

Duplocrocs · 15/10/2022 11:06

18 days is far too long. You’ll be aching to see baby by about day 4. Plus what on earth can you do in Disney land for 18 days???
Children are free on planes until 2 so I don’t see how it would be an increased cost? You’d only need a cot in your room too which is not usually charged for for infants. Somewhere like Disney is all about kids so would be an ideal place to take your baby surely?

Maireas · 15/10/2022 11:08

Can you get someone to buy the holiday from you? It's 18 days and a long distance. There are so many variables with babies - not to mention your parents!

Margo34 · 15/10/2022 11:10

I see baby is currently only about 3ish months so you might not have left baby already yet? I found it such a wrench to leave my baby, even for a half a day with baby auntie, at 11m old, and so did baby. Could be partly because of being an EBF baby. I've only managed to leave baby overnight once at 20m old, baby was with daddy, and they had an awful time.

If you do decide to go, you'll have to start preparing early to get baby used to grandparents caring, as long as they're happy to do it and will respect your parenting decisions? (I know my own parents disagree with my parenting choices like BLW and gentle parenting, rearfacing carseat etc). But I also know friends that have had heavy involvement in childcare from grandparents with no issues. So lots to weigh up and every mum/baby pair is different.

PinkSyCo · 15/10/2022 11:11

Oh blimey 18 days is a really long time to leave your baby for, and an 11 month old will really feel your absence. Then again 2500 is a helluva lot of money to lose! I really don’t know what I’d do in your shoes!

AriettyHomily · 15/10/2022 11:12

Personally no I wouldn't for that long. Can you reduce the length of the booking.

Disney with a baby would be a pita though if you are into the rides, you won't be able to do anything together.

Violettaa · 15/10/2022 11:12

No, I wouldn’t do that.

The baby can travel for free on your lap, and the cost of having them in a hotel room will be nothing/ tiny.

18 days is far too long.

Take the baby with you, and have a long weekend away alone if you want.

Enko · 15/10/2022 11:13

I would go. Ensure baby is well used to grandma and grandads house
Perhaps not video call daily but thats a call to make depending on personality

pbdr · 15/10/2022 11:13

I mean as long as he will be well looked after when you are away then obviously you can go, although that age is around when separation anxiety starts to peak, and he will be too young to understand why you have disappeared and if you're ever coming back. So I think it is likely to cause him distress, and I would miss my 1 year old daughter horrendously if I was away from her for 18 days, to the point I'd be desperate to get home and would be counting down the days. So I definitely wouldn't, but you're not me and maybe those things wouldn't bother you.
If you do decide to go I hope you have a lovely time.

crumpetswithjam · 15/10/2022 11:14

It wouldn't cost much to add baby to booking. It might even be free.

I couldn't have left either of mine at that age, even with loving competent grandparents.

Mosaic123 · 15/10/2022 11:14

That's a long time to be away. Can you make the holiday much shorter?

Is there any way to take the grandparents and baby along so you can see the baby every day (even if it stayed in their room sometimes) a bit like taking a Nanny on holiday?

GhostedTheMostest · 15/10/2022 11:15

Personally, no I absolutely wouldn't.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 15/10/2022 11:18

Change it for a short duration and/or take him with you. 18 days is a lifetime when they are small.

Derbee · 15/10/2022 11:19

Absolutely not ok to leave a baby for 18 days. The fact that you even need to ask implies you’re a very different parent than me, so I won’t give you the reasons why it’s not ok, as you probably won’t agree

Overthebow · 15/10/2022 11:24

Honestly no I wouldn't go for 18 days. A long weekend yes, but 18 days is so long and your poor baby will wonder where you are. I wouldn't even be able to contemplate it.

shortandpaleandoldandugly · 15/10/2022 11:41

Honestly, call me old fashioned but if you have a baby already, do you really need a honeymoon? Surely it's just a holiday? And no, I wouldn't.

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