Is it ok to leave baby with grandparents to go on honeymoon?

[Demacrexsigma]

11 month old dilemma

Me and my husband got married in March 2020, just before Covid hit and closed everything off. So we rebooked our honeymoon like three times so as not to lose the money. At the end of the third booking we had to cancel as they’d upped the costs by an extra £3000 and as both of us were on furlough still we couldn’t afford that so we cancelled. We only got half our money back and the rest the airline kept so we had to book another holiday by January 2022, which we have for June 2023.
We didn’t quite expect that I’d get pregnant quite so quickly after trying and welcome our firstborn in July 2022. However we can’t afford to upgrade the tickets to accommodate the baby as well and as it’s our honeymoon too to Disneyland.
Its booked for 18 days and my parents are completely fine to have him for those many days, but I’m worried as an 11 month old he’s not going to be happy and going to miss us too much even with video calls every day.
Is it better to just lose the £2500 and book somewhere around the UK to take him with us, or would he be ok with the grandparents?

Thank you x I just wanted opinions whether people had done it before because I’m really against it and I definitely don’t think i will now

I would absolutely check the price of adding the baby - it cannot be that much and is better than losing the money. Then everyone wins!

It happened to the Queen. When she was nine-months-old her mother and father left then Princess Elizabeth, while they embarked on a six-month-trip tour of Australia and New Zealand.
But I think as so many pps are saying you'd be much better off taking him with you. I don't think it'll add that much to the costs. If the GPs are willing to babysit maybe you could get part-time work now to help with the money.

I can't get past spending 18 days at Disney

@urbanbuddha that's interesting about the late Queen. Possibly it didn't affect her that badly as perhaps her primary attachment would have been to her nanny who cared for her day to day. Leaving your NINE month baby for SIX months though - seems extreme to us and really it was, the infant would not have known them on their return. . And I'm a bit surprised as there's always a lot of talk on documentaries about what a loving and tight-knit little family King George VI, the late Queen Mother, and the princesses Elizabeth and Margaret were.

But that's royalty/the aristocracy for you. They would have thought that they were doing the right thing, leaving the baby safe at home with a trusted nanny. And childhood diseases were more prevalent at the time, antibiotics etc were not developed yet I think? So the baby would have been considered at risk by international travel.

Emotional damage may have been done though. Like when the upper classes pack their kids off to boarding school at 8 or younger. That's why a lot of them are repressed and weird!

No way would I would leave my baby for 18 days for this. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear.

That’s too long. Surely it wouldn’t cost much to add a babe in arms if they didn’t have their own seat?

What am I even reading?

No. Fs

A quick aside - facetime at that age would likely be upsetting for the baby. They can see you, hear your voice but don't understand where you are and why you aren't there.

If you do choose to go be prepared for facetime to not work for your baby and you may not see/speak to them for the entire duration.

We went away for a night around that age and facetimed our eldest child (who was 6) and the baby (who was 1) got really upset.

I'd go. But DM would be very involved with my DC anyway and having them to stay lots. I know myself and that I'd miss them but also be able to appreciate the time off and feel reassured they'd be happy with my DM.

I would possibly shorten it to 10-14 nights. But equally it's a one off, and much longed for holiday.

Do what you feel ok with. Other option is can you swap it to something child friendly and take them? Doesn't have to be UK. Babies at that age are just at the end of the fairly easy to travel with stage. Depending if they're walking etc etc of course. But much easier than a 2 or 3 year old.

@Demacrexsigma

If your reply was to mine, I’m not sure why you think I’m rude and unkind? It’s my opinion that to leave a baby unnecessarily, for 18 days, at 11 months old is slightly cruel to a child.

Im unsure where you have extrapolated from my reply that I’m unkind? On the contrary , It is my such opinion because I would rather be kind.

You have not left your child for 18 days as of yet so I’m not sure why you have taken offence.

The baby will be fine. We went to Beijing when DS was 11 months.

It's perfectly ok. Just not what you would do.

I'm sorry but that's an excuse.

Of course the child isn't guaranteed to struggle. We went to Beijing when DS was 11 months. He had a ball. We had a wonderful holiday. He's never had therapy, it was fine.

I’d do it but worry that the baby would be too much for someone else to handle for that long. And they would end up regretting it 😂

@Julia234 It wasn’t to your reply don’t worry.
Someone else left a horrible reply and PM to my old account so I deactivated.
Either way I’m not going now I just wanted to know if anyone else had been in same situation.

As others have said, going away on a long haul journey as a couple and taking your single pre-toddler age child isn't actually so terrible since you don't pay for a flight seat, meals aren't complicated, there are two of you and one of him/her, etc etc.

In terms of leaving a child of that age alone without either parent - 18 days is far too long. I'm thinking that sort of 3,4, maybe 5 days, roughly that territory, is about the maximum.

Could your parents travel with you so that you can spend time with your baby in the evening?

Could you go later in the year to give you a bit of time to pay for baby to go? Or even if grandparents and baby went with you and stayed for say a week or so with you? I dunno, just trying to come up with other options as 18 days is a long time.