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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is it ok to leave baby with grandparents to go on honeymoon?

120 replies

Demacrexsigma · 15/10/2022 10:58

11 month old dilemma

Me and my husband got married in March 2020, just before Covid hit and closed everything off. So we rebooked our honeymoon like three times so as not to lose the money. At the end of the third booking we had to cancel as they’d upped the costs by an extra £3000 and as both of us were on furlough still we couldn’t afford that so we cancelled. We only got half our money back and the rest the airline kept so we had to book another holiday by January 2022, which we have for June 2023.
We didn’t quite expect that I’d get pregnant quite so quickly after trying and welcome our firstborn in July 2022. However we can’t afford to upgrade the tickets to accommodate the baby as well and as it’s our honeymoon too to Disneyland.
Its booked for 18 days and my parents are completely fine to have him for those many days, but I’m worried as an 11 month old he’s not going to be happy and going to miss us too much even with video calls every day.
Is it better to just lose the £2500 and book somewhere around the UK to take him with us, or would he be ok with the grandparents?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Awrite · 15/10/2022 11:44

I still feel guilty about leaving my (now almost 17 year old) dd when she was 6 months old for a hen weekend.

I left her with family she knew extremely well but she missed me.

20viona · 15/10/2022 11:45

I would absolutely go. Yes 18 days is a long time but he won't remember, however you may struggle as time goes on. We went away for 3 days when our daughter was 10 weeks old and everyone thought we were mad lol.

NoDairyNoProblem · 15/10/2022 11:49

As the baby’s under 2 it shouldn’t cost much at all to add them to the booking.

18days is a whopping 3% of an 18mth olds life… I personally couldn’t.

deathofthesnark · 15/10/2022 11:49

How much to add?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 15/10/2022 11:54

18 days?! I wouldn’t go on a 3 week holiday without my 11 year old, and definitely not an 11 month old.

It’s too long. Take them or don’t go.

They're under 2 - it can’t cost that much to add them on?

Paq · 15/10/2022 11:58

It's a long time to be so far away from a very small baby. I wouldn't do it. Sorry OP.

Shayisgreat · 15/10/2022 11:59

I did it when my ds was 13 months. He even left the country to stay with my parents in Ireland! The only issue was that when I returned he was no longer interested in breastfeeding so it ended that part if our relationship.

He had a blast with my parents and the cousins he doesn't see often. He was so pleased to see us when he returned. He was slightly clingy initially but it didn't last very long.

Flittingaboutagain · 15/10/2022 12:02

Mine is 15m and there's no way I would leave her. We've postponed her honeymoon until she'll be three! Even then only going for 5 nights.

Isthisexpected · 15/10/2022 12:03

No wonder UK breastfeeding rates are some of the lowest in the world.

woff45 · 15/10/2022 12:07

We have holidayed several times without the kids leaving them with my mum, absolutely no concerns and never "ached" for them. That said, the first time we did it youngest was 15 months old and it was 10 days, max we've gone away is 10 days and only on a couple of occasions. It's completely personal of course, I wouldn't judge, but even I (not the most maternal of people as you may be able to tell!) think 18 days with an 11 month deal old is quite long. Personally I'd save money making it a shorter break.

WinterDeWinter · 15/10/2022 12:07

How would you know though? Babies (and all children) don’t necessarily express a sense of abandonment in east to read ways. He may well believe that you are never coming back.

WinterDeWinter · 15/10/2022 12:08

Sorry mine was to the poster who said ‘baby will be fine.’

Halfarsedjingler · 15/10/2022 12:22

I think it's fine to leave baby with trusted grandparents, but for me 18 days would be way too long. My children are much much older and I still wouldn't leave them for that long.

bookish83 · 15/10/2022 12:23

Not a chance. Imagine worst case scenarios and you are on a different continent to your 11 month old child? Not to mention that you are a family now, why can't you price up to take them? Or go for less time if you can get money back off hotels? Or just accept the higher cost and work out a way to cover it over time.

A weekend maybe, but 18 days?

Sparklythings1 · 15/10/2022 12:26

We got married when our little one was a year and just went for two nights/three days, I couldn’t have convinced myself to relax and enjoy it if it was anymore. The plan was then to go a big family holiday somewhere nice after it but we haven’t done it yet 🙈

SheWoreYellow · 15/10/2022 12:29

Can you change the booking to something shorter?

OllyBJolly · 15/10/2022 12:30

Is it Orlando where you’re going? Costs have shot up and I think you might be looking at another couple of grand for food and drink for that length of that time. I’d pay to take the baby (which I suspect will be minimal) and just have a chill out Florida holiday.

An 11 month old baby is quite a lot for others to cope with so although I think baby will be ok, it’s a bit unfair on your parents. (Due to serious illness I had my baby grandson to stay frequently and it was hard going. And I’m a young , healthy, energetic granny!). Your parents may well change their mind after their first overnight.

MajorCarolDanvers · 15/10/2022 12:47

Easier to leave at that age than when older

Yes it's fine. As long as GPS are happy.

expandabandband · 15/10/2022 12:55

My parents did this when I was seven months old. Genuinely, it came up a lot in therapy, and I would see it has having a big impact on my relationship with my mother.

Although you could argue that this was because I had the kind of mother who thought it was OK to leave a child for two weeks when they were that age.

woff45 · 15/10/2022 13:03

My parents did this when I was seven months old. Genuinely, it came up a lot in therapy, and I would see it has having a big impact on my relationship with my mother.

They went away once when you were 7 months old and it came up in therapy.....?

Shayisgreat · 15/10/2022 13:03

I think going on a one-off honeymoon is different to just going on regular holidays without your baby. You'll probably only ever have 1 honeymoon.

BlueDiamondGlow · 15/10/2022 13:11

I wouldn't be comfortable with that- I think it's too long and might be traumatic for the child.
I wasn't even comfortable leaving my son overnight at that age (although I don't think it would be wrong to leave a baby that age for a night or so with someone they knew well if you were happy to - everyone is different but 18 days is different).

Can you somehow find the extra money to take him too?

orion678 · 15/10/2022 13:11

I'm torn here. 18 days feels like a long time, but we did leave our 13 month old for a week to go on our honeymoon and it was absolutely fine and we had a great time. My mum stayed at ours with baby, took the kid to nursery as usual, and kept routine mostly the same. We did one video call, but baby got upset so we contented ourselves with messaging and pictures.

orangeisthenewpuce · 15/10/2022 13:16

Of course it's ok

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/10/2022 13:20

Easier to leave them at that age than older as they aren't aware of how many days it has been. I would 100% go, but i wouldn't do veryany videocalla qith baby as could be confusing for them at that age

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