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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How to manage - Childcare with 2 under 3 and both working parents

150 replies

Boogiewoogi · 03/03/2022 11:08

Just looking for some advice. Child 2 is due this summer and we have a DD who has just turned 2. I’ll be taking 6 months off work as will my husband (for complicated reasons involving work commitments we both need to take the same time off)

So as of January 2023 we will have 2 under 3 and I’m not sure how to juggle childcare.

We both have senior corporate roles which sometimes have long hours and will be a mix of home / office working. I think we could sort it so we take it in turns to do days in the office and home, finishing earlier on the days we are at home.

My DD currently goes to nursery 3 days a week and loves it, then MIL looks after her the other 2. What would be the best approach when new baby is here?

I’m wondering if we could flip the days so DD stays at nursery 2 days a week, MIL looks after the baby those same 2 days a week, then perhaps we could get a nanny for the other 3 days a week? Ideally she would be happy to stay overnight 2 of those nights so that we can get a proper sleep before work. Would a role like that appeal?

We each earn £100k+ so don’t qualify for any childcare help / funded hours but are obviously very lucky to be able to pay for help.

Would be grateful for any advice!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rhowton · 03/03/2022 14:28

You will still be entitled to 15 hours free childcare for your 3 year old.

I would get a full time nanny and do 5 mornings a week of 3 hours in the pre school of the school she will go to. Then Nanny can drop off and pick up.

Would you be able to go down to 4 days a week, or work longer hours Mon-Thur so you can have a Friday off? Then you would get time with your children, whilst the nanny did domestic duties.

WhatAWasteOfOranges · 03/03/2022 14:29

Full time nanny 100%

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/03/2022 14:29

@Boogiewoogi Or is this your general advice to any working woman? no, only those women choosing to work full time despite having a high family income. There comes a point where you are choosing money before your dc.

WhatAWasteOfOranges · 03/03/2022 14:30

Full time nanny 100% and then use the 15 hours your 3year old will get for a couple of preschool mornings.
What everyone with big corporate jobs does that I know

Comedycook · 03/03/2022 14:31

@Boogiewoogi

My DD when she turned three went to school nursery for a year before reception. Our income was irrelevant.

nearlyspringyay · 03/03/2022 14:31

Lots of people do compressed hours in my firm, 9 day fortnights are most common with one parent alternating with the other so you only need childcare 8/10 days, excluding wrapraound if needed.

We had an unconventional nanny share as in they didn't have all the kids all the days, we had her 3 days a week, the other family two. It was cheaper than full time daycare for twins. My mum and mil used to arrange with the nanny to take one or other out for a bit for some one on one time, worked really well.

Comedycook · 03/03/2022 14:32

Maybe things have changed? That was seven years ago

ShirleyPhallus · 03/03/2022 14:32

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@Boogiewoogi* Or is this your general advice to any working woman?* no, only those women choosing to work full time despite having a high family income. There comes a point where you are choosing money before your dc.[/quote]
WTF?! Women shouldn’t work if they have a husband who is a high earner. Are you kidding?! What dinosaur attitude is this

You know the “high family income” is BECAUSE the woman is working as well right?

Comedycook · 03/03/2022 14:33

Just had a look online. Apparently all children are entitled to 15 hours a week starting the term after they turn three.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 03/03/2022 14:33

I agree old-school is a good shout, although I'd do 3X 9-3. Then nanny mon-thurs. So nanny has 3 X sole care of baby +pre-school drop off/pick up and 1 X care of baby while MIL has older child and MIL gets one day of both DC, ideally eg: Friday when one/both parents WFH or short hours.

LaPufalina · 03/03/2022 14:33

You should still get 15 hours, OP? My BIL is a high earner (£150k) and they still get the 15.
We have a nanny-nursery combination and it works pretty well, nanny does two full days with 3yo (plus drop off/pick up 5yo) and two short days (pick up 5yo only). I also have a lovely MIL who steps in as needed (which seems to be a lot with this nanny as she has a lot of sick days!)

Caspianberg · 03/03/2022 14:34

Also it sounds like Mil lives with you?

In that case a nanny for sure. You can then see if mil will cover one or two evenings per week instead, and then one of you could possibly move to 4 day week? Ie nanny 8-5pm daily. Nursery 2-3hrs a few mornings if you want to continue. And mil takes over 5pm-8pm 1-2 days a week so you can do long days then.

Original poster

Boogiewoogi · 03/03/2022 14:34

@rhowton

You will still be entitled to 15 hours free childcare for your 3 year old.

I would get a full time nanny and do 5 mornings a week of 3 hours in the pre school of the school she will go to. Then Nanny can drop off and pick up.

Would you be able to go down to 4 days a week, or work longer hours Mon-Thur so you can have a Friday off? Then you would get time with your children, whilst the nanny did domestic duties.

I had no idea, I had previously looked in to it and saw the salary thing but it looks like that’s 30 hours and the 15 hours does apply. Great, thanks!

Unfortunately I won’t be able to compress / change hours or drop down in the short term, my husband might be able to and that’s something we are discussing

OP posts:

Hedgecog · 03/03/2022 14:35

I'd look at getting a nanny, they go out and about to groups etc so children can socialise, although if one enjoys nursery although itll end up being pricey perhaps they could even stay a few mornings or whatever.

Original poster

Boogiewoogi · 03/03/2022 14:36

@Caspianberg

Also it sounds like Mil lives with you?

No she doesn’t, but she stays over on the night that she’s with us so we can have dinner together / husband can catch up with her as they’re very close

OP posts:

Neurodiversitydoctor · 03/03/2022 14:36

Pre-school not old school

LizzieSiddal · 03/03/2022 15:05

Your MIL sounds amazing! I’m in my late 50s and do two days a week looking after 16 month old granddaughter. I’m exhausted after those two days! I do work the other three days a week though so maybe that’s why.

carmenitapink · 03/03/2022 15:10

100k is not that high family income depending on lifestyle choices & where you live.

If she lives in London for example and wants to send her children to private school, so how about you let her make those choices about her own life & focus on the Q she asked.

So much unnecessary jealousy just because OP earns more than some posters. No one would respond in this way to a man

Woofwoofbarkbark · 03/03/2022 15:13

I don't think people are jealous. Its just hard to get your head around full time childcare when its not something you would morally do.

And of course people would say it to a man too.

carmenitapink · 03/03/2022 15:17

@Woofwoofbarkbark

I don't think people are jealous. Its just hard to get your head around full time childcare when its not something you would morally do.

And of course people would say it to a man too.

I'm yet to hear someone telling a man earning 100k to consider going part time to put his children first, especially when countless households have their children in full time nursery.

Ridiculous.

Woofwoofbarkbark · 03/03/2022 15:20

Then you hang around with the wrong people!

Bex000 · 03/03/2022 15:23

I was reading this thread and OMG the gate out there!

All I can say is well done you for your career and having a family. Go point regarding the 15 free hours for every child from age 3 I would definitely utilise that and in addition until the baby is a bit older get a full time nanny. Once the baby is a bit older you could put both in nursery, and cut the nanny down to P/T.

I do agree with others it would be better to use the MIL as back up or perhaps if you get a nanny/housekeeper she could take the baby to a group whilst the nanny/housekeeper does half day cleaning/ironing/whatever.

From my experience it is quite a challenge to get a nanny that will do both. Good luck x

carmenitapink · 03/03/2022 15:23

@Woofwoofbarkbark

I don't think people are jealous. Its just hard to get your head around full time childcare when its not something you would morally do.

And of course people would say it to a man too.

If someone doesn't "morally" believe in full time childcare they either believe in

State (i,e, taxpayer supporting them)
A man (most often) supporting them

I can think of more "moral" issues with (1), and as MULTIPLE MN threads show, (2) isn't the best of ideas & typically leaves both women and their children at a disadvantage...

carmenitapink · 03/03/2022 15:25

@Woofwoofbarkbark

Then you hang around with the wrong people!

No one tells men who earn high salaries to go part time to look after kids. That simple untrue as we all know, even based on MN threads. They are applauded for looking after their families as OP also should be.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/03/2022 15:28

There's nothing "immoral" about using full time childcare

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