I'm a nanny, how do I tell my boss I'm pregnant?

[Itsallwhite]

I'm freaking out about this! My boss is not someone who I can approach. Working for them is stressful already and this is just going to be awful! What am I going to do?

Please someone help me. I need to speak with them tonight as I'm off Monday and Tuesday. And anxiety if making me feel so sick (maybe part of the pregnancy) :/

First, many congratulations!

Are you planning on telling them face to face? This would be my preference as both the employer and the one giving the news. Better way to read their reaction. Why are they difficult to speak to?

Before you go in, check what your contract/statutory rights say/are about maternity leave before you tell them so you're clear about your rights and expectations. Do you want to go back to the role after mat leave? What's your plan? Better to have a clear-ish idea of what you want before you go in to the discussion.

I would just say that I have some happy news to let you know and then tell them and set out your plan about either coming back or not. Or to say we obviously will need to sit down to work out appointments, leave and the future in the coming months.

Thank you ohmrtumnus! Im at work now and they will be back later. I have worked for them for almost 4 years now. Any time I have needed time off in the past it has been horrible. I had a family member die and they were difficult about me having time off. (3days) I had to have an operation and same again there were difficult so I was back at work within 3 days. This will just be a nightmare. I use my holiday for dentist and doctors appointments. I just know when I tell them they will make a comment about it's not great timing and how they have done so much for me how could I do this to them. (mum is a stay at home parent). I would tell them face to face and thats what scares me. I'm emotional and I know I will cry as soon as they make a comment. It's just really hard

Don’t you want to work for a different family? It sounds very difficult.

I know everyone has said that to me but I love the girls and ive been there from the start. The pregnancy wasn't planned. This is a shock for DH and I

Well I am sure that they know that if you employ a woman of child-bearing age then there is always a possibility of her becoming pregnant. Just tell them. Do you want to return to work after the birth?

I know you are find of the children, but I am sure there must be a better employer out there.

Sometimes you need to let go of work and do what's right for you. My employers were awful when I got pg. I was told "I won't say congratulations yet as you may still miscarry". I did indeed miscarry 🤬 I left that job and when I got pg with dd1 I was with a different employee who was lovely and accommodating. In the end I had to do what was best for me and staying with an abusive employer wasn't right at all.

No I won't be going back but also I don't think I can tell them that or I won't get paid my maternity :/ thank you I know and before I always made excuses but now I know my health will have to come first for the baby. I'm so sorry that you miscarried :( but now I can't leave because I won't get maternity pay

@Itsallwhite you will qualify for SMP payments which is likely all you'd get from them anyway. That's what I had to do as my employer let me go just before the cut off (decided to be "stay at home" weeks before the cut off date ). Anyway, that's not a reason to stay with an abusive employer.

They have sent me an email today saying they are having to let me go! But it's nothing to do with me being pregnant. So now what do I do? No one will employ me now!

There was a thread on here a few days ago where maternity action was giving advice I have no clue how to do links sorry but may be worth a search. They gave me really helpful advice. Failing that maternity action have a website that may offer advice.

Did they know about the pregnancy?

You may be entitled to maternity allowances (which other than the first 6 weeks of statutory maternity pay which is 90%of your earnings) is the same. Look on the yougov website for more details.
I've job hunted when pregnant. It feels futile but actually opportunities (particularly temporary or fixed term contracts) do come up. Good luck.

Did they know about the pregnancy before they let you go? Does the email mention your pregnancy?

@Itsallwhite
What a blessing in disguise!

When I was in a similar boat (I got laid off when I was around 20 weeks), I did temp nannying. I still got my SMP because I was working during the "qualifying period".

Hi OP, congrats on the pregnancy and sorry about your shitty sounding employers. Did you tell them about the pregnancy before you got the email? If so, you should take legal advice as you may well have a case against them.

They are in sticky ground here. I’ve been in their shoes- I employed a nanny who fell pregnant within the first week of working for us ( think of that what you will but apparently it “wasn’t planned”) It was a nightmare as she had loads of time off with pregnancy complications, then the HMRC took 3 months reimbursing us for her maternity pay so I had double childcare costs when I had to pay her maternity leave and a new childminder. We had to use savings to pay.
We decided to let her go whilst she was on maternity leave (after paying all appropriate SMP) because our youngest turned 3 during this time so we could tell her we the position had become redundant as we didn’t need the hours. According to the agency we did our contract through this was fine. However they were very clear that we had to be careful to make it clear this was our reasoning,as if we just stated we were making her redundant without good reason she could claim unfair dismissal and would probably get it.

Meant to say congrats on the pregnancy too OP! I do feel for employers tho as maternity laws don’t help small employers here. We are not that well off and it was a nightmare for us.

So they can't just do that.

From what you've said, they have followed no process around anything. What are the grounds of the dismissal? Is it redundancy? In which case they should have consulted you first (and it has to be genuine they can't now hire someone else), give you notice, pay you redundancy pay. If anything else (capability/conduct) then they should have talked to you about it first. And the cause and effect around you telling them about your pregnancy are suspect to say the least.

You need to go back to them and ask for a written explanation of your dismissal and speak to an employment lawyer/CAB.

You might want to get this thread moved to employment issues, there are some great posters there who give out great advice (something from the sounds of it your employer has not sought).

This is a shit situation. I am sorry.

Have you managed to tell them about the pregnancy before the email?

They are within their rights. Morally not great but legally they can. Now how to I get a job while pregnant?

How far along are you? Do you think that, since they know you well, they could have worked out you were pg?

Why would you think they're within their rights?

They've fired you because your pregnant. It's illegal, get advice.

And they're arseholes to you according to what you wrote about them.

Get legal advice on here/see an employment solicitor

Are you in the UK?

It’s a bit weird OP that suddenly that’s it and you’re thinking of just moving on and getting another job while pregnant, you should receive a redundancy payment. Unless it’s gross misconduct.