Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

I'm a nanny, how do I tell my boss I'm pregnant?

56 replies

Itsallwhite · 11/11/2018 11:40

I'm freaking out about this! My boss is not someone who I can approach. Working for them is stressful already and this is just going to be awful! What am I going to do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
Itsallwhite · 13/11/2018 12:09

They have said that with the youngest starting school in September the no longer need me from January. And I've got advice my my agency and they haven't done anything illegal as they are saying it's nothing to do with the pregnancy.

OP posts:
beachyhead · 13/11/2018 12:12

So are you being made redundant? (Which is different from being sacked)

beachyhead · 13/11/2018 12:16

You could try this organisation helpline....
www.maternityaction.org.uk/

Beetlebum1981 · 13/11/2018 12:25

I would definitely get some legal advice about unfair dismissal as their excuse is crap. If they really didn't need you in January then they would have told you sooner.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 13/11/2018 12:41

But they only told you that after you told them about he pregnancy?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 13/11/2018 12:43

Well that’s redundancy then.

Original poster
Itsallwhite · 13/11/2018 13:15

I told them I needed them to be back before 8 as I needed to talk to them. Before I could tell them they said they no longer needed me. (Maybe they knew I don't know). They have sent me another email saying that they are going to get an au pair. As the housekeep will take on the children's domestic duties there won't be much childcare for me but are giving me first refusal of the knew hours that will be between 10-30 hours pw. I work 60 so there's no way I can afford that! I also feel upset that they are doing all of this over email as I'm off. I dread going back tomorrow!

OP posts:
Hohocabbage · 13/11/2018 13:42

How far along are you?

Original poster
Itsallwhite · 13/11/2018 13:57

I'm 6 weeks and they could have. The house keeper is around so she could have heard me talking. There are also cameras in the house. Also if a message comes through on my phone the mum will look at it. So they could have known but even if they did I won't do anything about it i hate confrontation

OP posts:
AramintaJones · 13/11/2018 14:28

Err how does she look at a message coming through on your phone? All sounds very weird to me

AramintaJones · 13/11/2018 14:30

Are you in the uk? She's a stay at home parents with a 60 hour a week nanny and a housekeeper?

That's quite unusual

HarrietKettleWasHere · 13/11/2018 14:39

6 weeks? You were going to tell them really early. Are you seriously walking around having conversations about being pregnant at six weeks so that a housekeeper/camera could have picked it up? Why on earth would you not challenge someone who read your messages Confused
Or at least don’t leave your phone anywhere near them.

This doesn’t add up.

dogwoofbark · 13/11/2018 16:33

@AramintaJones

Are you in the uk? She's a stay at home parents with a 60 hour a week nanny and a housekeeper? That's quite unusual.

No it's not. I've done many jobs exactly like that.

AramintaJones · 13/11/2018 16:35

No, it IS unusual. As in, it's not the norm. Note that I didn't say it never happened.

dogwoofbark · 13/11/2018 16:42

In London it's not 'quite unusual.' It's pretty commonplace.

Mishappening · 13/11/2018 16:43

Did they know you were pregnant before the email?

Hohocabbage · 13/11/2018 17:54

I’m not sure why you would even tell an employer at 6 weeks, unless you were having a lot of morning sickness I suppose so they might guess anyway.

Hohocabbage · 13/11/2018 17:56

I suspect a very very small percentage of the UK population would fall into the category of having a full on nanny and a housekeeper! I would hope so anyway.

AramintaJones · 13/11/2018 18:02

@dogwoofbark nahhh it's not pretty commonplace at all. Do you know what the word 'commonplace' means?

buckeejit · 13/11/2018 21:09

Well I was going to say she must've read this thread but if she can access your phone, LTB!!

Congrats on the pregnancy - you really don't want this stress in your life. Contact the maternity action & see what they say. Good luck

Lwmommy · 13/11/2018 21:13

Youve been with them 4 years, doesnt that mean they need to make you redundant as you are past the 2 year mark?

CharlieandLolaCat · 13/11/2018 21:29

If it is redundancy they at least need to be talking to you about it (rather than doing it over email), following a process and then providing you with a redundancy payment.

Original poster
Itsallwhite · 14/11/2018 09:15

I'm in the UK and it's very much the norm around here. The messages come up on my locked screen. Never had anything to hide so I didn't really care before. First day back in and the mum is still in bed. I've taken the older children to school. Its amazing me feel very stressed

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsallwhite · 14/11/2018 09:16

*it's making me feel so stressed

OP posts:
hibbledibble · 19/11/2018 13:41

Op how are you doing? It sounds very stressful indeed, but if the employers are this bad, then surely a blessing in disguise?

Have you taken advice around what you are entitled to in terms of redundancy pay?

I wonder where is the UK it is the norm to not work and have a 60 hour a week nanny and housekeeper.