Help, my new nanny is a bit shouty, and I'm worried, and would like advice on how to handle it

[PrincessPeaHead]

My lovely calm, quiet, loving nanny of 5 years left last week, and a new nanny started. She is NNEB, worked in a nursery (baby room) most recently, nannied for 2 children before that. She's now been with us for just over a week.

I'm a little worried about how she interacts with the children. She has been playing quite well with DD1 (9), and has been givena very hard time by DD2 (16 months) who screams at strangers generally and hasn't settled with her yet (screamed constantly yesteerday morning when I went to the supermarket apparently). DS1 (6) has been OK with her, DS2 (3) had his tonsils and adenoids out last Tues and was feeling rotten until this weekend.

She is a bit of a sargeant major - issues orders and won't brook any discussion at all, even when it would be (I think) completely reasonable to listen to what they are saying. eg she was asking them to go upstairs for a bath - we have two staircases to go up, and DS2 wanted to go up the other one to the one she was asking him to go up - and she was raising her voice and saying "DS2, I have asked you to go up to your bath and you need to go up these stairs NOW". I don't see why he couldn't have gone up the other ones if he wanted to. There are lots of other examples - I don't think I heard my last nanny raise her voice more than about 2ce (usually in situations where I would have strangled them hours previously!), whereas raising her voice appears to be this nannies MO.
My 9 year old has asked me why she shouts so much
My housekeeper has told me she is concerned.

What do I do?

I think she has begguered of on hols, and didn't even consider we were all anxiously awaiting the report.

Well, Cod (or whatever your name is this hours), have you called?

ha ha ha ha

sorry I' ve been so long but now that I don't have a nanny I don't have TIME to be on the computer! until baby is in bd for her nap, that is

she was brilliant about it - said she'd been thinking about the garden thing and thought she'd jsut got so used to there being more than one resp adult in the nursery that she hadn't thought. But she didn't cry, she was very mature and said "I quite understand", asked very politely if she could use the car until Wed since she needed to sort out some transport tomorrow (which I agreed to), and she went.

Then the cab came and I gave him a tenner to go away again!

So all fine. Thanks all fopr your help and support, I will no doubt be keeping you posted on the Great Peahead Nanny Hunt (do you think channel 4 would buy it as a format? Find the perfect person to look after 4 feral children, a large stately home, and deal with an internet-obsessed mother and Mrs Danvers like housekeeper at the same time...._)

your houskeeper is not like mrs danvers

Oh BTW Cod is now Dogsby - but you probably realise that now

pph my nanny is at a loose end til july 1st hen she starts with us - would you like to break her in for me

Glad all went well.
Fingers crossed for a brisk, breezy day and Mary Poppins blowing in from the North.

Oh good. Glad it went well. You are far too normal and civilised for anything Channel 4 would air.

I have to say it was VERY nice of you to let her take the car.

yes I may never see it again eleusis oh well, its insured!

Tutter... well I might in all seriousness! Where does she live? Near you?

tutter, im giving you a virual kicking........

................a virtual one

PPH I think letting the present Nanny go is a very wise decision...She doesn't sound like good nanny material never mind nanny to 4 children imo.

FWIW I was 19 when I started my first sole charge position...Before that at 17 (while studying)I was nannying part time 4 nights per week (5-10pm) for 4 children aged between 6mths-6yrs.

Age isn't a great indication of whether or not a girl will make a good Nanny, most of us have a natural ability & a lot of common sense!

Good luck with your new candidate!

Sorry have just realised I'm slightly behind the times with this situation & I'm glad you've let her go...Everything you/housekeeper & children said didn't sit well with me.

Most nannies would have a very cheery disposition (not a shouty one) in their first couple of weeks in a new position!

I think so too, scot!
Thanks. Seeing the 21yo on Wed pm, looking forard to it

Looked at her cv in depth again and she's been working full time as a nanny since 16, so has 5+years experience.

pph, she lives in the opposite direction to you

plus her youth and lack of experience acceptable imo as she'll be more mothers help than nanny, but doubt her cv would satisfy so with 4 kids looking for sole charge work

worth forking out for a temp nanny through an agency?

PPH my first nanny was 20, just turning 21 when we employed her. I was hugely worried about the age, and really only agreed to see her as I thought the agency might think I was a picky cow and stop sending me good candidates.

She was head and shoulders more mature than any of the other candidates we saw and deffo more mature than I was at 21. She also had good quality experience over a number of years, and was extremely cool and level headed about eg emergency situations. Funnily enough my best mate said "ooh - I'd never recruit a 21 year old", and then recruited an extremely dodgy 27 year old who she had to "let go" after 6 months. She then turned round and said "I wish we could find someone exactly like [X]".

Interestingly when she left I also wanted to replicate her exactly and was sent the cv of a 42 year old (my current nanny, the ninja). I was hugely worried about the age, and really only agreed to see her as I thought the agency might think I was a picky cow and stop sending me good candidates...

But check your car insurance. We had a mildly sportif Polo as our second car and we literally could not get it insured for a 21 year old - I thought it may be a bit more expensive for a couple of years but it was completely uninsurable. We ended up having to sell it and get a lower spec one. Everything people say about your new car losing a third of its value when you drive it off the forecourt is entirely true!

PPH - if you're not sure about the 21yo just point her in my direction - sounds like the perfect person to fix my own nanny woes!

oh anchovy she sounds great

I'm sure car insurance will be hellish, but we have a not-in-the-slightest-sportif-bottom-of-the-range-Touran so I'm sure it will be possible

tutter poo. but we may have persuaded my dh's nephew (newly finished at uni) to come and be an aupair - his cousins LOVE him and he is brilliant and v responsible and would be nice to have him around for a couple of weeks. also his gf lives nearby

and at tutter poo

(ds up at 5:20 today)

tutter, poo (that she lives in the opp direction)

better?

• late night, up at 6, NO NANNY

anchovy sporty hatchbacks are expensive/impossible to insure from 21 yr olds because they are a favorite of boy racers. Dull family cars like Tourans (sorry PPH) are shunned like plague by boy racers so are probably more reasonable...

it is a deeply dull family car, that's why I bought it for the nanny!

I, of course, wouldn't be seen dead in it

the aston martin will cost you a bit though

on the subject of nannies and cars, any idea how much it'll cost our nanny to add business use to her insurance (she's 20)?

don't want to have to buy a 3rd car just for her to use, and don't want her to drive mine (she's used to driving a fiesta-type thing, i have an xc90, plus i'll need mine anyway)

Kewcumber - I've learned that the hard way. It was a Polo GTI. The insurers seemed to think the GTI bit was the most important. But it was a Polo FFS - a boring respectable family car with slightly flashy wheels!