I am SO angry, please talk me down

[TwoTimesTwenty]

We have a new nanny after having to let our previous nanny go as she was lying to us (among other things). We hired our new nanny who is extremely experienced, with previous long term positions (15 odd years' experience) through an agency and she has great refs which I checked verbally myself. She is a nice lady who gets on well with the kids. She is well paid at £11 per hour net (we pay all taxes and NI) for a 4 day week, she will also get a good bonus after a year's service. It HAS to work out with her, I can't put my kids through the transition to another nanny yet again.

So today she has let the kids get sunburnt and my 4 year old has a dirty bum as she hasn't helped him wipe it. The dirty bottom has happened a couple of times now, I haven't mentioned it before as I thought it was a one off.

And yesterday she let my 4 year old watch TV for nearly an hour while little one napped despite my having specifically asked her to give him some TLC and read him stories/spend some one on one time with him as he was feeling a bit fragile. Instead she sticks him in front of the telly.

I am SO angry, I feel like she is not trying in this job and that I have let my kids down by hiring her.

I would be disappointed about the sun cream and bum. Think you are right to be cross. You are paying an experienced nanny to look after your children so you don't have to think about sun cream as you run put the door first thing in the morning. Hopefully it will work out but it's good to let her know that these things are not ideal early on!

I do find the ridiculous levels of angst over perfectly normal everyday things quite hilarious.

Many people have grown up watching a lot of telly and the vast majority of people turn out just fine.

They sound like teething problems to me, just chat & sort them out.
Impressed by someone whose pale 4yo has never had slightest burn. I had heaps of burns by the time I was 6.

I would be disappointed about the sun cream and bum. Think you are right to be cross. You are paying an experienced nanny to look after your children so you don't have to think about sun cream as you run put the door first thing in the morning. Hopefully it will work out but it's good to let her know that these things are not ideal early on!

My DD has been sunburned in her nanny's care before. Our nanny was mortified. Any reaction less than that and I would be quite concerned and making sure my expectations on that front were very clear.

The TV I wouldn't be that fussed about and we are fairly strict about it. By DD2's nap time, DD1 can be fairly tired but any sort of a nap would have her wide awake until 9-10pm. Some quiet time post lunch in front of the TV some days sorts her out. Presumably your nanny had chores to be getting on with too?

Skid marks - I would mention it in passing that he doesn't have a handle on it fully.

I think you are right to rage.
She is an employee and should do exactly as asked.
You pay her very well, above market.
It is not ok for a nanny to put a child in front of TV for an hour if you asked her not to. There are much better ways of spending time with a child. That is why she is there.
It is not ok to leave a child to nap when you expressly asked her not to allow that.
Sunscreen is a big deal. Not to scare you, but each time we get a burn, we increase our chances of skin cancer later in life. This is a medical fact.
Absolutely not ok to have a dirty bum. That says a lot about her personal hygiene as well as her work ethic.
In short, I would advise you to have a chat, give an extended trial period and if things don't improve significantly, let her go. Your kids are very resilient and would be much better off with a person who truly cares for them and their well-being. And you will have the peace of mind as well. When I had my first child and had no idea what I was doing, I switched 3 nannies until an absolutely brilliant lady came to work for us. It has been two years, I know my kids are 100% taken care of and I do not need to worry, whether I am around the corner or in another country. That is what every parent wants. Please don't settle for mediocre.

She sounds inattentive, careless and lazy.

How disappointing, particularly as you know it will only go downhill from here. Unless you're really in a bind I would get rid of her before the children get used to her.

Any chance the suncream is out of date? Read somewhere that if is is then does the opposite thing - kinda turns like oil and fries them rather then protects .......

TV / op said he was fragile - maybe nanny read a book /did 121 - then had some TV

Bum - again if you didn't say I would Expect most 4yrs to be able to wipe - nanny shouldn't have to ask to bend over and check for skids

Be more specific with her re. your remit around television. I am not big on television for little ones bit appreciate that this is a personal preference. If you need to clarify, why not record the particular programmes you don't mind him watching and then tell her ow many episodes you're happy for him to watch per week/ day, when (as a treat/ after school/ nursery, etc.).

Had you shown her where the sun cream, hats and UV suits were? I'd have thought she'd have considered that.

Does your son ask for help when going to the toilet?
Just let her know that she needs to check and look.

I would expect a child at reception to be able to wipe one's own bottom. Little marks are acceptable and I assume hand washing takes place. A bath or shower in the early evening will ensure the rest. The more you allow a child to do as much for themselves as possible the more independent he/she will be. Your being unreasonable.