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Original poster

Non medical but worrying day off that I can't cover wwyd ?

487 replies

AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 22:33

My CM has found a lump in her breast which obviously she's worried sick about and has booked herself an appointment at a private hospital for Tuesday, she's told me this, not asked if it's ok iyswim. Now I know i'd be worried to death about finding a lump but I really cannot take this time off and DH would be unpaid which we can't afford. I don't want to sound like a heartless cow but she had Friday off at short notice for an uncles funeral and now this, would it be completely awful to ask her to rebook for Wednesday ?

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fireflyfairy2 · 03/09/2006 00:40

Me either.

milward · 03/09/2006 01:11

Tell your company the truth.

There is no question of your nanny waiting another day for her check-up. Will she need the whole day off?

LoveMyGirls · 03/09/2006 09:51

i don't get the title of this thread btw - what do you mean non medical - this is medical and thank god you listened and havent put your foot in it. i would start looking for another job as they sound like the ones at fault here, def not your cm who has had time off for very good reasons!

franyfroo · 03/09/2006 09:59

i would look into a nursery. your childminder doesnt deserve you! you sound so so heartless im rather gobsmacked.

thank goodness none of my parents would think in this way, infact they would all be fussing like mother hens, i am so lucky.

HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:05

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:06

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:15

It's a long story but she was going to pack in and go and work in a supermarket because she wasn't getting paid enough, she was just looking after my DD 2 days a week whilst i did the housework etc. Anyway the short version is I took a full time job so she could have my DD full time therefore earning enough to not take another job and continue CM.
As for the title i hit post before I'd checked it and you're right it doesn't make sense it was late.

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:16

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:17

Frannyfroo - I'm thinking out loud on here not a crime and I'm certainly not heartless - but we both need to live and without my job she might not be able to afford a private appointment.
What happens if it is cancer and she needs the money for immediate treatment and I've lost my job ?

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:18

No she couldn't have found another child, she didn't want to, don't you dare be so rude, this is my circumstances I'm trying to explain the situation.

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:18

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:19

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:20

And as you say she's self employed, if she "finds another child", how does she live whilst she's looking

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:21

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:24

But she likes her job, she doesn't want to work for anyone else and I like her, so YOU have esculated this from rebooking an appointment to we are both out of jobs and looking for alternatives. Very helpful

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:24

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hulababy · 03/09/2006 10:29

Back to OP, I think it would definitely be unreasonable to ask her to book another appointment at such a worrying time for her.

I am afraid if you choose to rely on just one person for your childcare you have to be prepared to put up with these things.

If this is becoming a problem then I am not sure this form of childcare is the one best suited to you and your child.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:31

hulababy, thanks i think you're both on right counts just not sure how to solve it yet.

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tissy · 03/09/2006 10:32

Angela, have you spoken to her about this?

Why not say, " I'm having trouble with work about taking time off on Tuesday, can you recomend anyone who could help out for that day?" and see what happens.

It may transpire that she's not that worried (if GP had thought it may be cancer she would have got an appt at the hospital within 2 weeks) and that she may be happy to change her appointment for you. Most private hospitals don't have a specialist on tap 7 days a week- that may be the only session that the breast surgeon is there, so that's why she's accepted the appointment.

It can't do any harm. If she's beside herself, and absolutely has to go that day, you've not lost anything. Most CM have a network of colleagues- mine has found me an alternative for when she's on holiday.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:40

I have sort of spoken to her, she called to tell me about it and her mum is in a complete flap - not her and whisked her off to the private hospital. If the consulant is only available on a Tuesday then Tuesday it'll have to be but I got the impression Tuesday was just the first available appointment.
I really can't have a fill in looking after my children, what if something happeded to them, i'd never forgive myself for putting a job before them.
I "think" i'll tell work the truth on Monday, if they object I'll tell her and see if she suggests moving the appointment and if not I'll have to run the risk we're both unemployed by Wednesday. At the end of the day all my wages go directly to her anyway so I won't miss out but she'll be looking for another job and maybe on top of other worries.

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ayla99 · 03/09/2006 10:46

Its unlikely you'll lose your job over this - you have a legal right to time off to care for your dependants in this type of situation. You just don't have any right to be paid - thats down to the terms of your contract/discretion of employer.

What do you do when your own child is ill and you have to take time off work at short notice?

tissy · 03/09/2006 10:46

FWIW, I wouldn't tell her if your work object to the time off- that puts her under pressure to accommodate you, and that's not fair.

I wouldn't worry about a "fill-in" for one day, as long as she is a registered CM- it's not as if you're leaving your child with someone who is completely un-checked. Do you have any friends with nannies who could help out, or could you take a half-day off work if you do have to use a "fill-in" so it's only for a few hours?

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:51

alya99 - please give me credit for being able to anticipate this situation better than you, my boss pulled a face and basically said if these days off are going to be a regular event at short notice then I will not be passing my three month probation period and that was with regards to the CM attending her uncles funeral on Friday and us both taking a days holiday. So I think it is highly likely I will loose my job and there will be nothing I can do about it.

I'm not leaving my kids with anyone else, end of story, alot can happen in a couple of hours, the CM I really like and trust lost them at the zoo.

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:55

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:57

Happymumof 2 - I do appreciate that and have not said a dickie bird.

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