My nanny won't give me her ofsted number

[deerkitty]

Hi
Is there anywhere else I can get an ofsted number from? My nanny is on maternity leave and the tax credits people have written quite a threatening letter to me demanding all my info by a certain date. I have text and emailed her but no response. I really need it as they will stop payments if I do t provide all info.

If she was away surely she could just text me 'I'm away'.

Is there anywhere else I can get it from?

Do you remember the telephone? That's what you use if you need an immediate response. Texts and emails will not always be seen/checked particularly by new mothers on maternity leave.

Interesting. I would never telephone an employee on mat leave with a little baby because it hassles people more. I would always text or email so they can reply a few hours later rather then at the moment I call when they may be feeding, sleeping etc.

Neither would I Jayne, but I also wouldn't complain that my texts and emails had gone unanswered for three days. You can't have it both ways. If you text/email so that they can respond at a time suitable to them, then you wait. If you need an immediate answer then you call. You don't email/text and then post about how annoyed you are that they haven't picked up their texts yet.

Ok as I said, I have called ofsted and tried everything I could Think of including calling the bank as I paid
For the registration myself to see if I had
Used it as a reference number. I emailed and text she ignored it. Fine that's her choice. I have been extremely supportive of the nanny all I was asking for is the number. I have had a letter basically telling me my tax credits will stop if I don't provide all the information by Tuesday next week so it was kind of
A desperate situation. In reference to my tax credits being paid
They want to know what I was paying last year for her and now I have maternity cover what I will be paying this year. There is nothing sinister about it. But I will be absolutely screwed if they stop paying me as I'm currently paying the SMP out of
My own pocket as I've said before and paying the replacement so I'm paying out almost £1000 a month.

In the end as I said I got it from the tax credits people themselves who I had originally given it too so I have sent the info off on the understanding that the number doesn't change

Yes I might have sounded aggressive in my Mumsnet post but I have only asked her nicely. She hasn't provided it so there is not much else I can do except hope I have given them the correct number.

I'm really not a bitch I'm someone under a huge amount of financial pressure. I have no one to share it with so I ranted on here.

Also ofsted wouldn't give me the number for
Data protection purposes. They were my first port of call.

Lastly I did call and left a nice message saying sorry to hassle you but if you could help that would be great.

What you've done seems fine, it's the attitude that's the problem. 'I'm annoyed because she's my employee and I've given her 3 days etc.' 'She's ignoring me'. Maybe she's busy and just hasn't got round to it. Maybe she's away and her phone is dead. Maybe she meant to get back to you and forgot. Your attitude towards her is negative. Cut her some slack. You have issues, that's nit her fault. Direct your annoyance towards Ofsted or the tax credit people.

But I've not been negative to her! I've only been negative on here. I'm so stressed about this whole thing. I'm an lp with dc one of who has sen, every day is a battle and she knows it isn't easy here. Again fine not her problem but I would reply to someone if it was me, that's all. Anyway hopefully it's done and I won't get the money stopped. It would be 1000x worse if I couldn't pay her surely.

Anyway I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Your attitude towards her here has been negative. It's highly likely that the negativity seeps through in your interactions with her. I understand you're having a stressful time, but it is not her fault. You lost the number. Ofsted are useless. The tax people are being unreasonable. None of that is her fault.

Well she chose to ignores the messages of someone who is stressed, and that's her fault ( I mean what are the odds that she doesn't receive a text and an email). It's her right to chose not to answer, but it's human to be upset about it. I would be.

OP sent one text and one email (apparently nice). That's hardly harassing the nanny. The nanny can't know that OP is stressed or upset at her ;) . OP chose to release her frustration here instead of releasing it on the nanny.

I guess that I see it differently because I know the feeling of panicking because you are struggling financially and panic about it (and that I am not really patient when people ignore my mails and texts )

Do you live with this nanny lola? If you don't then you have no idea whether she chose to ignore the OP or just hasn't seen it/has forgotten/is very busy/has pnd/is sick.

Why do we have to assume the worst about her? It's been 3 days not 3 months!

I don't think you have to speak to your employers when on maternity.

OP has had a rough ride on here. If my employer texted me while I was on maternity leave and wanted some info, I would at the very LEAST text her back pretty sharpish and say I'll have a look for that. (If I was somewhere where I could get text messages - she and the baby could be trekking in Nepal for all we know.) Just so she knows I'm on the case, even if I can't get to it straight away. Your employer is still your employer when you are on maternity leave! I loved getting my mat leave cheques - it's worth being professional about anything that involves being paid in full and on time.

I text her Monday, emailed her Wednesday and on someone here's advice called Thursday. I checked with acas if I can call someone and I can apparently, so I have done all above board. So we are now day five, I asked her to please come back to me by today as info needed to be there by Tuesday. She hasn't so as I explained I got from tax credits.

The general consensus seems to be I'm out of order. I would personally call someone back out of politeness if I knew that they were having some issues. All my correspondence to her including the message was very polite and nice, I haven't been rude or demanding once. Yes I came on here to vent but surely that's better than venting elsewhere!

Also she isn't away my friend saw her yesterday at the local shop as I mentioned in passing to her!

I don't think the way you've gone about contacting her is out of order. Text, email, phone call are all fine imo. Your attitude towards her on this thread is unpleasant imo.

Is she normally rude/inconsiderate?

To be honest yes, if she hadn't gone on mat leave I'm not sure I would have kept her on, I've been so careful to do everything the right way. There are a number of things she has done to upset me quite a bit as far as the children go but I'm not going to put them on here. I've always been polite and professional.

Mixed feelings on this. How far in to mat leave is she?

After DD1 I barely had the energy to speak for several weeks let alone answer texts like this .

DD2 - was fine and I was functioning normally from day 2 . If she had been my first I would have found it hard to understand why the nanny hadn't replied.

I think your negative relationship with her may be colouring your view on this issue. You have the number now though? Hope she doesn't want to come back after her ML.

I think almost three months old. She didn't tell me she'd had the baby until about a month after it was born. I knew when she was due but again didn't want to keep asking for news so waited for her to tell when she was ready.

Outraged I don't know how she can come back. The job is here for her but she has moved a good 40 min drive away, also it's not fair on dd to have a baby in the house she can't cope with it. Time will tell as I say I have the number so won't bother her again.

Sounds like it has come to an end then. I hope the next nanny is better!

OP I think you've had a harsh time on this thread, I just wanted to offer some

She waited a month till she told you??? That's awful

The fact your nanny hadn't replied at all in now 5 days is awful

Even a text reply saying she didn't know what her no was would have been nice rather then ignoring

Seems you are not keen for her to come back and depending on what sen your dc had also depends if you have a nwoc - obv you have to offer her the job back / but as orginal terms ie no baby / but as a 40min drive she prob won't if has to leave her baby with childcare

Maybe your nanny has changed her phone number?

Outraged explains it brilliantly. Your attitude on here is negative, it most likely seeps through. I'm guessing that the nanny isn't stupid. I've once worked for somebody who didn't really like me much and thought that I was stupid, I'm certain that they thought that they hid it very well, but I could tell.

I can see why OP doesn't like her -- she hasn't bothered to answer a very simple request in 5 days!