Right, when I went up there to be nice as suggested, he started doing it AGAIN! So I said he had to leave with immediate effect, i.e. 9am tomorrow morning. He did look a bit shocked at that but he genuinely has no idea how rude he comes across, I think. he is like a much younger person. Is this a Spanish male thing, I wonder?
He then came up with a lot of waffle about me shouting at him, my bad tone of voice, him never getting a word in edgeways, I always rip him off, I never ... I always ... in the manner of a bad marital argument, with lots of eye rolling, interruptions and passive aggression at the same time. It really was like talking to one of my children on a bad day, except frankly they can be more reasonable.
I think the real issue is that he can be a bit lazy and slightly entitled at times (he tried to charge me £4 extra this afternoon for 30 minutes picking up one of the kids before his usual afternoon start time, when the only work he had done this morning out of his allocated three hours was empty the dishwasher - I basically told him I would do it myself and his services were not required at all from this point onwards if that was his attitude), but he equates anyone standing up to his nonsense and telling him off for anything as shouting at him, just as teenagers do. Only he is 24 and a qualified teacher. I am not sympathetic to that, and I certainly don't need that sort of nonsense in my house. The contrast with our last two au pairs is very striking - yes, they made mistakes, as we all do, but a sorry and a will try harder goes a long way in this sort of role.
I have offered to pay for his flight home, and for lots of luggage on Ryanair, and he leaves tomorrow. As a karmic gesture, I offered to take him and the boys out for a final dinner if he wants to go, so we part on reasonable terms. I also said if he gave passive aggressive backchat to future bosses in 'real' jobs, for example to a future head teacher, he would find himself out of a job fairly rapidly, so he needed to take on board what I was saying about the rudeness, for his own future wellbeing. He didn't quite believe me but I think he was aware somewhere in that gormless head of his that I was trying to give good advice.
Anyway, tomorrow is another day and I think we will both be relieved that this is all over. I think I will offer to take him to the station so he can get the train to the airport, and then move on with life.
I am tempted to get a temp nanny for 6-8 weeks to get us through the stress of eldest's GCSEs, if anyone knows someone looking for work.