Sacked the AP, atmosphere in house.

[BoffinMum]

Just that, really.
Bit stressed.

Boff, if it makes you feel better, last years AP walked out claiming we were criminally negligent because she caught chicken pox off our daughter (her parents then consulted a legal firm about suing us)...

Au pair before that was so busy shagging my mates au pair that he kept oversleeping at hers and turning up late. It didn't occur to him that every time he raced half naked across my mates lawn in desperate attempt to get back to us my mate would give me a call, and he was very affronted when I refused to believe his car-breaking-down stories...

Then there was the Swedish one who wore so little that I could tell she was a natural blond, and the Turkish one who argued that giving way at a roundabout was for wimps (I swear the BSM man was shaking when he dropped her back) and the one who snuck into our supercar when we were on holiday and didn't notice the back window left down, and wondered how we found out...

Our current fab one is leaving in August and will probably be our last. Life will be boring without them.

I forgot the Spanish one who gave our car away to a chap who knocked on the door...

at Anchorage's au pairs. I think a couple of full stories are in order.

We had a chicken pox scare with our current au pair. DD came down with it 10 days after he'd arrived, and he'd never had it. We had a logistically tricky time trying to keep them apart while living in the same house. He'd already been exposed obviously, but we were still trying to be cautious. Au pair's DM Skyped him every evening to see if there were any spots. We were lucky though and he didn't catch it.

Anchorage - you have made me - though I doubt it was funny at the time.

Our best one was 17 years ago. She was from Ukraine. She ran up 400 quid on the phone bill, calling Canada and Germany mostly. Then we found that she was going to leave with no warning, and negotiated a 2 week stay. The agency (who were facilitating her leaving) found her another family. I found out afterwards that they got up one Monday morning and she had packed and gone.

She also used to stay out all night, and call me 15 minutes after I should have left for work to say she would be another hour or so. And she stole money. And she smoked in the house.

Lol at natural blonde !!!!

Hopefully you have found someone
Boffy

Have you found hammy? :(

I am now very worried with all these stories and my limited experience. I have put an advert up on an au pair site and been completely honest about the duties etc. I have already had one reply saying that I am asking for a housekeeper/pet sitter not au pair and a very direct one refusing to help with the guinea pigs. I have asked for 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours a night of childcare/housework and 2 evenings babysitting. With 2 full days off a week and all weekend free but the problem seems to be feeding indoor guinea pigs morning and evening 4 days a week. Not cleaning them out or anything. AIBU?

YANBU clareysage, that sounds like an au pair job to me. Which au pair site are you on? I would say though that 2 full days off a week, weekends off and 4 days of guinea pig duties adds up to an 8 day week. I still think that it sounds like a cushy job, but if you use the words 'day off' to an au pair IME they may want to go away somewhere (some of mine have been all over Ireland youth hostelling) and feeding a guinea pig means that they can't go too far. Perhaps phrase it as on x day the sole duties are guinea pig feeding.

Have you tried Au Pair World? It's quieter on there than this time last year, but there are still plenty of good people. I have just recruited a Spanish man to start in June. If you put 'animal lover' early in your description, and mention the guinea pigs several times then it ought to weed out the wrong ones. I made it clear that we have a very bouncy dog and that they would have to be comfortable with that and be prepared to do some dog walking.

I'm feeling very lucky that I don't have any au pair horror stories, although I have a few years to go still so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my luck holds. I did have one au pair who managed to always be standing in front of whatever drawer I needed to get into in the kitchen, which frankly doesn't cut it as a horror story. She was a little compulsive about tidying too, I once got out a glass and a can of Coke, I popped the can but my phone rang before I poured it out. I went to fetch my phone and was gone maybe 25 seconds and when I came back the glass was in the dishwasher. Not in the same league as giving the car away to a stranger.

Clareysage: not unreasonable, for the right au pair... How about rephrasing your advert, to 'supervising the children as they feed the guinea pigs...'?

Hi

Sorry not made myself very clear. Au pair would have Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm off and then Tuesday 7pm to Thursday 7am off. Within that time there is two 24 hour days off (Wed and Sat). In addition has all day Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday free 8am to 5pm.....

Only needs to feed guinea pigs Monday am and pm, Tuesday am, Thursday pm and Friday am but it seems like a huge problem. I am wondering if it is because the guinea pigs are indoors....

Very worried now. Do you think male au pairs are more flexible? Not sure if husband would be happy with a male au pair though....

Don't have a male au pair if you would prefer not to. I took a right pasting on here last year for saying that I was only looking for a man, honestly the vitriol was astonishing. But this person will be living in your home and if you would be uncomfortable with a man then don't have one. I've generally had better success with men as they need to be very sporty so they can wear my DC out, but you probably have different priorities with your au pair.

I would maybe specify the hours that you are looking for and steer away from mentioning days off/weekends off. Let them work it out for themselves, only because to most people a weekend off would be from end of work on Friday to beginning of work on Monday. So maybe say total hours are x (eg 25) worked as following, and then give each day with the hours needed.

I don't know what site you are on now (Gumtree maybe?) but it's a bit of a pain to have people contacting you to tell you what they don't like about your job. Why would someone do that??? The more dedicated au pair sites like Au Pair World (more European based) or Great Au Pair (more USA focused) are more formalised, so they put up their details, you put up yours and there is a standard message that shows interest which is on your message board on the site. This means that they don't know your email address until you want to give it to them. You can also sort them by age, nationality (I only take EU for visa reasons), sex, having a driving license etc. Great Au Pair can also sort by factors like being able to swim, knowing first aid and a few other things.

Having to be back by 6pm on a Sunday isn't having the weekend off and would put many people off

Why do you need them to work Sunday night?

As long as fit for work 7am Monday would be better

Regards gp - your kids if school age should be looking after their own pets with ap supervision

Amazing how many men hate the thought of a male ap but happily welcome a young pretty sexy female into their house

Unfortunately, we would need them to babysit every Sunday night but I can see your point.

I was hoping that other parts of the job would be attractive enough for them to be interested. It is 12 hours a week work during the week and 3 evenings babysitting. In return have all day (8-5) Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. 24 hours off Wednesday and Saturday. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights off. Sunday off until 6pm.

Will be living in zone 2 in London. Kids are teenagers so only need someone in the house and to cook a light meal 4 evenings a week (5-7pm).

The children will not feed the guinea pigs reliably unfortunately.

But they can feed them, the AP just needs to remind them to do it and check it has been done. So that would be a better way of putting it really.

Hang on Clarey, you are looking for somebody living in, right? As I can understand the housekeeper/pet sitter reply if not as APs live-in. If you have teens I can also understand why you don't have many responses, as most APs tend to look after school aged children rather than teens. You might find somebody who is interested though.

It's also not just 12 hours a week. You're asking for three evenings babysitting, is this definitely every week? As most AP jobs want 2 but it's not often that both are used.

Not having two days off consecutively could be an issue, as it would mean that they can't go on weekend trips to explore, as having the 6pm time limit on the Sunday could be troublesome if buses/trains are delayed and/or cut any trips short.

Personally, the guinea pigs wouldn't phase me (I have four pet rats) but pet care is another one of those things that you just need to find the right person for. I think you just have a few of those 'things' which is going to take some searching to find somebody.

It's not 12 hrs a week if 3 evening also though. It's more like 25-30 depending on how long eve is. If they can't book themselves into a yoga class or arrange meal out then it's working. The sunday is off putting as many use weekends to explore either in country via train or fly to Europe fri eve- sun eve.

Do you really need someone in evening if they are teenagers? Can't au pair finish at 6pm having helped with food and leave them to watch tv/ go to bed

Thanks everyone. Do you think that asking them to be back by 10 pm on a Sunday night may be more attractive? Would give them roughly 6 pm on a Friday to 10 pm on a Sunday off.

I have included the 4 hours babysitting three evenings a week (12 hrs) to the 12 hrs cooking/housework so they don't have to do babysitting on top of 25 hours work which seems to be the norm.

Trying to make the au pair position as attractive as possible as we have no flexibility at all.

I will put about supervising gp feeding as it sounds better. I did speak to an agency that thought small furries may be more of a problem than dogs and cats.

Small furries didn't seem to be an issue for Boff's AP - perhaps you could track him down?

Why do you need them back on Sunday evening? Is it that you want them back in the house ready to prepare for the next day and get a good night sleep or is it that you want childcare cover? Is the babysitting 3 week days as well as Sunday evening? Or 3 days including Sunday evening?

Personally, I wouldn't go for this job if I were an AP. It's too limiting time-wise, the evenings are the main problem as many APs socialise in the evenings. Small furries would be more of an issue because more people would want to have nothing to do with them.

How old are your teens? Do they really need supervising that much?

RE Guinea Pig feeding supervision, are you going to put that down with the intention of them being responsible for feeding? Or are you actually expecting your teens to feed the GPs? They should be able to do that tbh (disabilities aside) but you don't want to fib about it.

I think the thing is, the job is made up of things that you may compromise on if other aspects of the job suited you, but if the job is made up of difficult things then it will be hard to fill it. AP to teens, pet care, unsociable hours, not a two day weekend, etc.

You are looking for somebody to live-in aren't you? Just clarifying, because if not, this isn't an AP position.

aunt

what do you do sunday nights and can you get a normal babysitter to cover sun eve, plus if you kids are teens cant they be trusted to be left for a few hours

i honestly think the hours need to be from mon am not sunday, not even 10pm on a sunday, they could be at seaside all day and out for dinner/cinema etc

@ aunt

and again tbh, if your kids cant be arsed to look after their pets then i would think about rehousing them ......

thats the gp's not kids rofl

It is a complicated situation but I need overnight care on a Sunday due to shifts/travel etc and my teens are 15 and 16. Their 19 yr old brother may be in the house Sunday nights but not sure if he would be allowed to look after them overnight? He is also at uni and sometimes we don't see him for days. I think he would make sure he is in on a Sunday night if au pair wanted to go away for the weekend but they would still need to be ready to work at 7 am Monday morning.

The three nights babysitting are Sunday, Monday and Thursday.

I would have to ask them to feed the gps really as children may be difficult about it.

It is a live in position.

I thought this would be a lovely position to be honest with all weekdays free and a 48 hr weekend but not sure sure now...

why are they difficult about feeding gps? they are their pets and need to understand the responsibility of pets

years ago i stayed the odd night alone at 16, if you think about it you could legally be a mum at 16 and in charge of a new born baby- tho obv all children/teens are different

not a prob to start work at 7am monday but it really does restrict ap's saying they must be back at home sunday eve

its is a lovely position if have all weekend off, from 6/7pm friday night till when they start monday morning = 2 nights bs are normal and having all day free while at school is a bonus

feeding the gp's wouldnt bother me, but i had hammies and adore them and in temp nanny jobs ive supervised 8/10yrs olds to feed/water/play with their gp's/rabbits etc

It might be the age of the DC that's putting potential au pairs off too. A lot of them choose to be au pairs because they like interacting with kids, but yours are a bit older and at a notoriously difficult age so potential au pairs might fear that it might be either a bit contentious and argumentative or that it will be really dull and they will just be there for the sake of having an adult there while the teens do their own stuff and ignore them.

Have you considered a granny au pair? Also here and here. They might be less bothered about losing their evenings, on the other hand they will have been through the teenage years already and may not want to do it again.

I still want to hear about the au pair who gave away a care. Did you get the car back Anchorage?