Sacked the AP, atmosphere in house.

[BoffinMum]

Just that, really.
Bit stressed.

I would keep the cage for now, you may find it's resident. I'm sure your youngest would love one

Hope you find someone decent

You will have noticed the long interregnum between my previous post and this one. Here is a progress report.

1. The agency have been kept fully abreast of developments at all times and copied into all communications. However they have now gone rather quiet. I don't blame them. I am using a new agency. The AP before this one arrived with hand luggage only (didn't augur well) and completely stopped doing any work after one week of effort, expecting to live at mine for free in return for, well, nothing. This guy was supposed to be her replacement.

1. No sign of the hamster. I did wonder if he had just acquired stuff second hand but there is a cage with a wee corner territorially marked, open food packets, open treat packets, open straw packet and open bedding packet. I am not sure what to make of this. No smell of hamster and we did not hear the wheel going around at any point. Probably one for the MN Unsolved Mystery thread.

1. I have done a lot of steam cleaning in there. I feel like the one of Wrens during WW2 facing things nobody else would face after a night of bombing

1. AuntFidget, that is almost not funny

1. Bonsoir, I agree, I clearly need a Nou Nou. NOW. Please put one on Eurostar for me. I will make it up to you.

1. Art, Graycoat charge ridiculous agency fees and have not sent me much worth considering in the past. But thank you for the suggestion. Frankly a proper nanny would be a bit bored in this job f/t. It really is a classic AP job.

1. After she had finished gasping in shock, my mother also raised the point about having a cleaner involved in domestic anti-hamster espionage and I think I may consider that in future.

1. We found more. Brace yourselves. We found two mysterious jars with yellow fluid in (!) and drawers and drawers full of hoarded cereal boxes, empty packets, rinsed out milk cartons, plastic water bottles and other recycling-related items. Middle son pronounced 'Blimey, this room is worse than DS1's!' before carefully carrying the mystery fluids down to the bin outside. It's like an episode of Life of Grime.

To those people who are aghast at my childcare sagas, bear in mind I only post disasters on here, or salacious details. I have a lot of positive childcare experience as well such as LovelyNanny and many LovelyAPs and Lovely After School Club and LovelyNursery. But clearly that would make a rather boring posting life, just gushing about the good stuff

Looking on the bright side, I have not found a wank sock (yet), Although I can't comment on the cups

Were they urine jars?

Yuk.

But where the smeg is the HAMSTER???

I know. I am worried about that.

DH suggested they were jars of oil, but given that I am a bloody P/T cookery writer/broadcaster there is no lack of top quality olive oil etc in my kitchen. Why would you keep oil in your bedroom?!

Maybe it is involved some sort of sexual practice I am too naive to know about.

Bonsoir, I appear to have found an agency who supply nou nous to people in England. I am quite excited about this development and I am having fantasies of my children eating up their Roquefort whilst wearing immaculately pressed white linen shirts.

I'm sure a Nounou would suit you down to the ground, Boffin and wish you much luck. If your agency fails to deliver, I suggest hanging around on a bench in Parc Monceau towards the end of June when Nounous are looking for new employment - they regularly approach people who look like potential employers.

Boff - I think you'll be able to tell whether it's urine or oil by looking at the viscosity of the liquid. In any event, I'd take everything straight to the dump, bypassing your household recycling facilities.

I'm dying to know what this bloke seemed like when you interviewed him. :o On the upside, you've entertained lots of people on the internet AND a frankly bonkers person is no longer living in your house. Result!

What is a Nounou, I think I want one!

A nounou is a FT French nanny/housekeeper - really a sort of full time mother's help - who typically does all the cleaning, laundry, ironing and much of the daily cooking and clearing up after meals. Also minds the DC - picks them up from school (though doesn't do morning drop-off as morning drop-off is an important hallmark of good parenting in France) and takes them to after school activities, gives them their bath and dinner.

at this AP!

I love nounou! My French teacher told me to use that term as she couldn't work out what else I would be, glad I know what it means now? If there is a French word for a Nanny though that somebody happens to know I'd appreciate being told!

Nounou is a shortened version of Nourrice, which is technically a Wet Nurse but also means a Nanny.

There are some Nounous who just do childcare and I do know some families who refer to la Nourrice in those cases.

I have a nounou and I didn't even realise it!

She is polish - my very excellent cleaner who has expanded her role somewhat. Sadly she only comes twice a week.

In all seriousness, what's your cleaner like boffin? Could she step into the breach if needs be in the future?

My old French agency used to distinguish between nounou, nourrice and 'nurse'. Nounous do housework, nourrices do childcare only and a 'nurse' is trained. I suspect nurse is an import of nursery nurse.

I need a nounou as explained by Bonsoir...my dream!

My cleaner is a bloke actually, who owns his own business, and who Does Not Do Childcare. Memorably I entertained his eldest once for two hours while he cleaned for me. He turned up and presented me with the lad, and said, "I knew it would be alright as you are an educationalist". I was a bit nonplussed. Obviously I find children endlessly fascinating, and indeed he was a charming boy, albeit with a slight speech delay that I managed to work with him on for the duration, but it was a bit topsy-turvy as a setup. I am lucky he hasn't brought his two semi-delinquent dogs over for pet therapy, frankly.

You may be interested to know that I have put an advert for a p/t housekeeper on Gumtree. I have had two very good p/t housekeepers in the past who both stayed with me for some years, and they were great at being supportive domestically whilst also keeping an eye on Other Employees. If I could find another one I would really have started organising a much better setup here, I think. I have a book contract to fulfil and I am sending a LOT of time on domestic stuff, and it is really starting to worry me.

However I do wish a Nou Nou would magically appear on a park bench for me. I am curious as to what they are paid and how the relationship is managed. Perhaps Bonsoir can tell us a bit more.

Update on current situation here: boys are worried the hamster is roaming then house untended and uncared for. However none of them seems to give a stuff about the AP that has just left, which possibly says something. I think he didn't engage much with the older ones apart from to bark occasional commands at them. Jury is out on the fluids. Looked like wee to me, frankly. DS1 reckons that and the fact we found drawer after drawer full of recycling suggests a kind of weird OCD which DS1 no doubt learned about on Reddit.

Life is never dull chez Boff. I am filled with joy that I don't have to look at that bugger's miserable face at the end of the meal table every evening, and force conversation. He really was a bore. Have invited previous, rather jolly AP back but I think she already has a summer job .

Bonsoir, would I have to push DC4 round in a Silver Cross coach built pram (poor sod is 5 but I could squash him in and put one of the smart outfits on him his grandma buys) and wear a well cut tweed suit myself to get attention in the Parc Monceau from these delightful beings? And why do they leave their jobs in June?

HERE THEY ARE!!

Les Nounous au Parc Monceau

So you've found a nounou but what about the frigging hamster?

Boffinmum, I thought that link would be to a French childcare website - what a disappointment!

So sorry, Happy!

No sign of hamsters, frigging or otherwise.

DH suspects it may be second hand cage. I bloody hope so as keeping a pet under the bed would be pretty cruel.

Leave the cage open where you found it or close by with food in tit. If he's released it you may find it has come home in the morning.

I can recognise the benches and the trees...

Did not sleep very well after all the nastiness of yesterday, but interviewing a replacement this morning. Also had an application from potential housekeeper. Wondering how best to draw demarcation lines between AP job and housekeeper job.