Is this just settling-in issues with new nanny or should I be more concerned?

[missrose]

This my third week with a nanny share. The job involves two babies and my toddler(at nursery most if the time), three days a week.

The nanny we employed has done lots of childminding in holidays and babysitting in evenings and has two teenage children. Her references were excellent so we felt she had lots of experience and really loved working with children.

These are the issues we have had so far. DH thinks I'm over-reacting, the DC are not the best sleepers and I'm back at work so I'm pretty stressed and don't know if I'm coming or going.

We gave her an idea of the kids' routines which were completely ignored in the first, settling in, week. My dc2 was given two naps in the morning, none in the afternoon. The other baby has food issues and has to be fed regularly and on time; the nanny took her out to visit her friend and came back 30 mins late with no explanation or acknowledgement.

So, we spent an hour going through the schedule with her, which groups would fit around their feeds, naps, etc and anything else that we thought would be useful. She has more or less tried to keep to this as far as we know, although she didn't go to the group we'd discussed this morning but to a cafe.

My dc2 has been crying non-stop as far as I can gather. DC1 is at nursery most of the time but has not been co-operating with the nanny when she is at home.The other baby is a few months younger and has taken to it much better.

Yesterday when I got home from work I took my crying baby from the nanny asked her how it had been. She shrugged, turned her back to me and said 'fine.' I had to ask again and and coax the info out of her.

She has also said of dc2 that she is needy, angry and frustrated. I think she is 13 month old baby who is struggling with being apart from her family for 10 hours a day.

She has said dc1 has been shouting at her and she had to tell her off.

I got to work and started crying, not know what I would come home to. I completely understand how hard it is looking after 2/3 children but that little flash of irritation from her yesterday has worried me about how she will behave with the kids if she gets stressed.

Is this just teething problems and everything will calm down? Or would you be worried?

It does sound like this Nanny is not experienced enough for this situation and not a good fit for your family. She sounds stressed and miserable and a bit resentful at the end of the day ie not coping. You do sound a bit prescriptive with groups dietary needs, meal plans and nap Times. I don't think returning 30 mins later than planned is a big deal.it does sound like she does not like being with your dc.
I say this as a full time mother of a toddler with a fantastic Nanny with lots of toddler experience. I just let her get on with it (meal choices naps groups activities) because I know she is great. We did consider a Nanny share but decided that this would add too much stress for her and us and that it was great for DS to have all his needs met.
I think you need to find someone else and consider having a Nanny for just your own children first until you get used to employing a Nanny and they get to know your DC and see if they can handle another child and family.