WWYD re nanny

[HelloDolly]

We went out on wednesday night and our nanny babysat as usual. When we got home she mentioned that our middle child had played up a bit and called K upstairs 4 times but there was nothing wrong so in the end K just left her to cry and after 10 mins she was asleep.
Well of course middle DD spent the entire night and next day throwing up and generally being unwell.
I know the nanny couldn't have known she was ill but do you think it's out of order she just let her cry ? She knows we dn't do controlled crying with the baby.
TIA

PMSL BIG TIME. I so needed this tonight!!! .

I'm not the sort to get involved with stuff like this but this is the the most over the top thread I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

HD - you've never actually confirmed how much 'mothering' you do. I'm sorry but you sound like the most unreasonable person EVER and there's no way I'd look after your children no matter how much you paid me you MAD WOMAN!! (this really is out of character for me but you sound 'barking'!)

Have you got other problems in your life at the moment as I really just don't 'get' the way you've behaved on here!

Thanks for the entertainment though!!!

BTW, nice night out? I hope so for the nanny's sake - poor girl!

Greensleeves - just read your post and TOTALLY AGREE!

Am still mildly in shock, and sniggering sporadically, over this thread

Worra witch!

I'm sat here in my brothers house, waiting for him to get back (long story, on other thread) and was relieved to have Mumsnet but getting bored when I saw this thread - TOTALLY MAD!!!

Seriously, no problem in being a bit upset at difference of opinion but then forgetting about it but she's the rudest snobby sounding person I have not met

As for 2 nights out a week - oh dear, poor HD

I stick to my original post.

I agree VVV. For the benefit of all concerned

I wipe arses but that's because I have a severely disabled 7 year old and a baby (and a 4 year old I have managed to persuade to wipe his own arse hoorah!) Never been a nanny in my life. Good friend was one and had some stories to tell about certain mothers and can see why.

You need a break 2 nights a week? Even when your child is chucking up? Weird.

Why would anyone make the point of calling a babysitter a nanny???

wow, I am shocked.
she's 4 for goodness sake
she didn't tell the babysitter that she felt ill

she was probably just upset cause you had gone out

"we have a babysitter two nights a weeks cause we don't have grandparents and we need a break"

jesus woman, you're complaining about the babaysitter leaving her to settle herself when you're going out when she's not well

you need to take a step back and look at what your doing

I wish I could get out once a month let alone twice a week

think yourself lucky or if you don't like the way the babysitter is looking after your chilfdren then quit going out so much

Message withdrawn

God I wouldn't like to work for you!

do you know, if this had happened to me I would probably be feeling guilty that I had gone out when she was coming don with something rather than blaming the babysitter with a 'holier than thou' attitude

I didn't think any one said anything offensive enough for that response Hello Dolly. Also Hello Dolly I think you've made yourself look rather silly by being so rude to a group of people who have chosen to care to the best of their ability for other peoples children. As all mothers know being around small people can be frustrating and difficult at times but also very rewarding. As for the wiping bottoms thing well I hold my hands up to that and say yes I have done that but as all of my charges are now toilet trained, I've not that for a while now. I think when I did have untoilet trained children I spent more time dealing with temper tantrums than dirty bottoms. Further I'm surprised your babysitter/nanny agreed to look after your sick child, I wouldn't. I may be paid to wipe bottoms but not to clear up and deal with sickness, sorry that the mothers/fathers job and when the child is sick they don't want the babysitter they want ther parent. I don't think you will find any type of childcare be it nanny/babysitter/nursery or school that agree to that!

I'd love to meet these children who have never cried because I've never met one!

nor have I!

and IF i never let the children cry.... and pandered to then when they were messing me around i think i might be sacked!

Is hellodolly not going to come back then
sounds a little like a stroppy child having a whinge and then throwing her toys out of the pram when not everyone agrees with her..................................then quick change to rude teenager........when she insults everyone and storms off!!!

Message withdrawn

Maybe she was never allowed to cry!

ROFLMAO

So, let me get this straight, HelloDolly blames her child's illness on the hired help, but then swanned off for another night out while her dd was ill? Strange attitude IMO. HD, if you can't bear someone else leaving your child for a whole ten minutes, why are you ever leaving the house?

As for nannies wiping bums, well yes, if a child isn't capable of doing that themselves, someone has to do it for them. I assume you have occasionally wiped your own children's bums - or do you leave that to the nanny too?

If you look down on nannies so much, why the hell are you leaving your children with one?

And is the poor woman your nanny or your babysitter?

And do you work or are you a SAHM?

Blimey, think someone needs to call Tanya Bryon and send her round sharpish.

Wow, you lot have been really harsh on HD. I mean it. Had you presented your arguments in a kind way to say, really I think the nanny couldn't have been expected to know she was sick, and you are being a bit harsh. But, that is not what went on here and I'm not one bit surprised she lashed back with equally offending insults.

I think that HD's point is that because the nanny knows the child well and the fact that this child never gets up crying, the nanny should have known something was up with the uncharacteristic behaviour. However, I do d think that a lot of people, including mothers and nannies, would have missed the signs at that point. So, perhaps a simple reminder to the nanny as you go out tonight that if she cries, you would prefer she was cussled and not left to cry, in veiw of the fact that she is not normally like this and therefore it should be seen as a sign that she is still not quite 100% well.

And, Greensleeves, I am the most offensive personality on mumsnet.

BTW, HD, I too employ a nanny and you are welcome to CAT me for my opinion any time you like.

Sorry couldn't read without posting.

I would expect my 4 yr old to tell who ever was caring for her that she was unwell. Otherwise yes she would be left to moan/cry and settle herself unless it was complete hysterics.

I work nights/DH works days and we would love the occassional break from the children but for most of us this is not possible, think you are very lucky to be able to go out and leave your children with a Norland Nanny glad you can afforrd it but at the end of the Day you are paying for the best qualified Nanny around and she probably knows the difference between when there is a problem and when she is being played up by a child.

4 yr olds are very manipulative and are often ill if they don't get enough sleep which in this case was quite possible. The nanny went in 4 times to settle her so I can't see what else she could of done. If you want things done differently either chat to Nanny and tell her to phone you if they won't settle and ask your advice or don't go out.

Uwila, I did originally post in exactly the way you've suggested, vaguely supportive but saying I thought she was being a bit OTT. But then she lashed out and started namecalling. Noone had been rude to her at that point.

And I do actually think it's fairly worrying if she has such a low opinion of the person looking after her children (if this is a nanny we are talking about, not just a babysitter). It will come across to the children and affect their attitude to their nanny. If you are being looked after by someone, you need to trust them and feel secure. If your mother clearly thinks they are unworthy, how can you do that? At the very least, she's risking them growing up being very self-important and rude to anyone they consider 'below' them. Which is a. darn rude and b. won't win them many friends.