Am I being annoying?

[crikeybill]

Ds started with a childminder two months ago for three days a week. I still send a daily text asking if he is ok, any problems etc. The messages back are getting shorter and today was just a " he's ok ".
Im not checking up on her. I trust her completely she comes well recommended and I know several mums from school who have used her. Because she collects ftom my older child's school I have seen her in action so I know she's fab.

I suppose im just sitting here wondering how my boy is and what he's doing. I don't want to piss her off though. Is it not the done thing ? Ive never used a cm before should I stop the daily text is it annoying ?

Don't think much of the CMs who say they'd be driven made by this tbh. Ok you might not have time for long responses but if you're happy with a 'he's ok' then it won't kill the CM to do that. Especially if you don't get any kind of daily diary. I'm really surprised at the responses you've had here. Don't feel bad OP. if its that much trouble for your current CM, find one who can manage this.

I generally don't mind receiving texts like this but I do sometimes feel I spend more time than is necessary trying to think of a reply that isn't identical to the reply from the day before .

Also, I do sometimes get a bit fed up of receiving texts in the evening, asking for every little detail of the day, even after a fairly detailed handover and sometimes ignore them

I am CM and I have a daily diary with all the families and use it every day, and I encourage the parents to write in it too, ie if the child slept badly, or is teething, etc. It's often a rush at the beginning and end of the day I find it easier that way. Personally, I would expect that parents would text me during the settling in period and maybe the first few weeks, but after that I don't think it's necessary unless you sit down with your CM and explain that you miss him, and hope that she can text you a couple of times a day just to tell you what he's up to. THat's understandable!

"Harsh"???!!!!

Good heavens, what sensitive flowers!

Only two childminders have said they wouldn't like it. The only person who said it would drive her insane is, in fact, a parent.

I always text parents back with a little update and a pic on something like whatsapp whenever possible as long as it didn't hinder my ability to care for the children.

On the flip side I used to hate texting parents when we were out at groups as I always felt like people thought I was just on Facebook etc instead of caring for the children - not good for my business image

I understand it's hard for you to be away from your ds but I think yes, it's a bit much after 2 months as if she's like most, she'll have other children and be pretty busy. I used to have a parent who did this all the time and would panic if I didn't reply straight away (I might have been doing nappies, busy playing etc.) so I had to make my messages shorter because I just didn't have the time to reply properly. We also now have to have policies about the use of mobile phones when working (well I think so, we had to before I stopped minding in March?). We got past all that though as this was 6 and half years ago (started when baby was 8 weeks old and stayed until I stopped working). I always sent the odd text during the day with a photo but would have got annoyed with daily texting. Having said that, I've had those who've been toilet training, not been quite themselves for whatever reason so on those days there may be texts back and forth to discuss things (but I'd know which parents to spend more time texting as some would get annoyed with ME if I was to keep texting )

You are getting some pretty harsh responses. Maybe as youve realised you don't need to text every day but it is perfectly understandable to miss him. Your cm may be busy but doesn't want to ignore you so just sends a brief message. If anything was wrong then believe me...she would be ringing!