Problems with dd vs cm children

[unforgettablememories]

Today I had one nine year old mindee. Plus my dd who is nearly ten and her friend who is nearly 11.

These three play really well and are normally easy to mind. Until today.

Today I had an extra child who is four and has learning difficulties.

I explained before hand to the elder kids about his special needs and that they must to be kind to him. My dd and her friend had met him before. The friend said 'but he's annoying and interrupts us when we play.' I told them that I expected them to play nicely.

So three kids run round all morning....screaming laughing and having a good time. Then the little one arrives and instead of being kind the three big ones were really mean. Not hurting him, but running away from him, and telling him to be quiet. Now I never once told them to be quiet in the morning...but anyway.

Fast forward to this evening elder mindee throws away something of the younger child's....think something like a painting, which the little one valued.

I told off the elder child. 10 mins later the elder child disappears and my dd came to tell me that he'd gone.

We went after him and caught up with him, and had a good chat. He said he can't cope with being told off. I went through all the...you should tell us if you go out of the garden ( do I need to complete an accident report or an incident report???)

The parent arrived and I explained the whole situation. She told him off for leaving and talked to him about the rest when they got home. But now he's saying he doesn't want to come if the little one is here.

I know the friend is always trying to get the little one in trouble...He said this rude word etc. My dd seems unable to tolerate the little one either but I thought that was just peer pressure from the friend

I don't know whether to do for the best. I don't want to let anyone down, but neither do I want a repeat of today or unhappy mindeees or dd

I'm so disappointed in my dd, because she didn't support or stand up for the little one. I'm so cross with her I can't speak to her and have given her the cold shoulder all evening, but I know this needs addressing.
But I don't know what to do for getting best.

Can anyone help with a bit of advice? what should I do?

Why am I feeling so shit? I feel like I've let all four of the kids down.
Not my finest day childminding

Goodness me, not posted or read much on here in ages, I remember why, some real witch hunting still going on.

Totally agree with Tanith, looking at many of the replies CM's should give up when their children get older as they shouldn't mix with younger ones!!!!!! Or you should only focus on younger children and ignore the older ones.

If anything little ones in my setting learn from older children, much better than being "hothoused" with only children their own age.

OP don't give in or feel too bad, you recognised it was a bad day and that your own DD can behave in different ways to different children, see it as an opportunity to learn, believe me none of us are perfect and can't judge every situation. Sometimes it can take time for other children to adapt and settle, and it can be even harder for our own, who have to share their mums, homes and toys.