Nanny attending to own affairs while on duty

[AliasNemo]

Have namechanged as I am a regular user.

Have unexpectedly come home early to find a deserted house. As it is Ds's naptime, I was expecting to find him in his cot and his nanny downstairs. Instead it looks like they have been out since I left this morning, which is quite unusual.

Tried to call our nanny and she was unavailable. Got a text after half an hour saying she was a few miles from home and would be back in two hours or so. She gave a location where there are no friends of ours and no local attractions for children (not even a park), but where I think she is thinking of renting a flat. Essentially I think she might have gone to look at houses with DS.

What do you think? Is this acceptable? I am a bit unhappy in that I would have expected to be asked (in which case I would probably have said yes), rather than come home and be put in front of a fait accompli. Am also not very pleased that I have no idea who they are with. And to be fair I spent the half hour where I had no news worrying about what might have happened.

Also, how would you approach it? I feel I have to say something.

"If my boss came home early, we weren't there, not contactable she would think we were at the park/on a walk/on a playdate because she trusts me. If she assumed the worst I wouldn't want to work for her"

Agreed - my boss would just welcome the peace and quiet and know that I'd be back by the end of my work day 5.30. She might text and say she's home but would generally just relax or go out herself.

I still think there is a difference between a quick dash into the Post Office or shop en-route to the park or an activity and a morning-long traipse around the shops where it might be hot, boring and tedious for a toddler.

I shop online or save that kind of shopping for a time when my son does not have to come with me, so would also expect a nanny to do her Christmas shopping at the weekend.

It should be predominately about the child's needs and interests, not what is convenient for the nanny.

It does toddlers no harm whatsoever to be bored sometimes, to have to go along with things that need to be done. Making them the centre of attention, having full on 'fun' and entertainment does them no good At ALL.

I agree that teaching them to behave appropriately in normal everyday situations is an important part of every child's upbringing, and would not have the slightest concern about taking mine to change library books or queue for a book of stamps. I don't think they need to be bored though - there's nothing to stop us chatting, telling stories, pointing out interesting things around us, counting, learning colours and so on. I'd see it more as a case of teaching them to take an interest in their surroundings and entertain themselves so they are not bored.

Chipping-actually my last boss made it very clear the reason she wanted a nanny rather than nursery was because she wanted her ds to experience 'normal life' and not full on entertainment all the time.

Nothing wrong with going to the library, as that is a child friendly and educational environment.

Brent Cross shopping centre, not so much!

I am not advocating full-on, constant entertainment for a child, but feel that someone who is being paid a good professional rate to care for them and provide for their learning and development should be doing just that in an appropriate environment, not traipsing them round the shops or looking at flats.

My former boss would have been concerned as to why I needed to move and was there a problem, and if she could help with anything.

I regular take my charges to the dentist/doctors.. even to get my eyebrows waxed as i regular mon - sat therefore it would never get done if i didn't take them with me. Their parents like that they do 'normal' day to day activities.

I think you should give your nanny a chance to explain. So long as my chargers are safe and happy my boss does not mind where we are/what we are doing. And very rarely asks me what we've done. Though the kids normally tell him.

Hi banks are not open Saturdays, yes I know some are not mine. I might bank a cheque if I were working Mon to Friday , 7 - 7 . After all nannies are entitled to lunch break, so could argue this was that time.
But agree with OP I would not dream of doing anything other than very short (ten minute bank/milk if passing a shop) errands in work time. Also agree sound suspicious two hour walk, have I got that right? Maybe the reason OP you were worried was an instinct something is wrong. Instincts can be right. I think it is reasonable to want to know who your children are with ie Nanny's friends. Was the nanny meeting someone?

I mean someone like her boyfriend, partner. You mentioned her being influenced by someone else. I suspect there is more to this and that's why OP was worried. The nanny not being home and not contactable for short time seems reasonable on her part.

BoffinMum put it very well: it is not about entertaining all the time or avoiding normal quick errands (Post Office, baker, butcher etc I positively encourage), this is about potentially taking a very young toddler to the other side of town for a long and tiring outing which has nothing to do with him.

Though, as it happens, I noticed some details that suggested they could not have been out longer than 2 hours and was satisfied with the explanation received.

It does seem that other families are not so interested in what the children do. Our nanny and I always handover with a quick summary of the night (in my case) and the day (her). I would find it quite odd not to know what they had done during the day...