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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny attending to own affairs while on duty

61 replies

AliasNemo · 19/06/2013 14:47

Have namechanged as I am a regular user.

Have unexpectedly come home early to find a deserted house. As it is Ds's naptime, I was expecting to find him in his cot and his nanny downstairs. Instead it looks like they have been out since I left this morning, which is quite unusual.

Tried to call our nanny and she was unavailable. Got a text after half an hour saying she was a few miles from home and would be back in two hours or so. She gave a location where there are no friends of ours and no local attractions for children (not even a park), but where I think she is thinking of renting a flat. Essentially I think she might have gone to look at houses with DS.

What do you think? Is this acceptable? I am a bit unhappy in that I would have expected to be asked (in which case I would probably have said yes), rather than come home and be put in front of a fait accompli. Am also not very pleased that I have no idea who they are with. And to be fair I spent the half hour where I had no news worrying about what might have happened.

Also, how would you approach it? I feel I have to say something.

OP posts:

BadSkiingMum · 19/06/2013 20:58

Ha ha at the typo!

I think that she should have asked. Again, it seems as it there is a bizarre sense of entitlement that nannies live under different rules to the majority of employees.

Popping into the post office or a shop, fine. A long house hunting trip, no.

Another question might be, would your DS have got anything out of that experience?

BeckAndCall · 19/06/2013 21:00

You know she's going be mortified when she comes back here, don't you guys? Or maybe we should just guess what she's doing right now.....!

NatashaBee · 19/06/2013 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 19/06/2013 21:10

I just spat my drink all over the keyboard.

I do all my wanking at work - well, I suppose if you can it saves time in the evenings

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 19/06/2013 21:14

I wonder if the OP will update?

I wouldn't be at all worried if I trusted the nanny to take care of DS and if I didn't she'd be gone.

I wouldn't want each and every day being a DC focussed fun fest. I would want my DC to have the same kind of days as they'd have if I were home.

I would also not want or need the nanny to be texting me all day and asking my permission to do stuff - she's a nanny - let her get on with her job while you get on with your job. Her job isn't to sit in the house all day, her job is to look after the DC - which she was doing.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 19/06/2013 21:16

Natasha - why should the nanny be in the house? What right does the OP have to expect the nanny & child to be at home because she came home unexpectedly early - the nanny isn't a mind reader.

Floggingmolly · 19/06/2013 21:19

If a family member talked her into this (why???), then your issue is surely with them?

ghislaine · 19/06/2013 21:19

I do my wanking in work time as usually checking I have been paid.

Don't always pick my phone up as if I am in a class it would be on silent. My boss rarely rings me .

I'd set my phone to vibrate, myself.

MildlyMiserable · 19/06/2013 21:22

That typo made me laugh more than anything has done for a long time!

GiveMumABreak · 19/06/2013 21:28

"I do my wanking in work time as usually checking I have been paid"

That typo has made my day! I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type!

Mrscupcake23 · 19/06/2013 21:31

Oh no I have gone so red I am mortified. Think everyone should check their posts before they post. I meant banking the b isn't even next to the w don't know how I did that. Sorry.

valiumredhead · 19/06/2013 21:42

I worked as a nanny for years. I attended to my own affairs sometimes, my employers had no problem whatsoever. It was the days before everyone had mobile phones so there was no contact during the day unless out was an emergency. As a nanny you usually work long hours so need to do things during the day that you wouldn't necessarily need to if you worked 9-5.

valiumredhead · 19/06/2013 21:42

Wanking

IsThisAGoodIdea · 19/06/2013 21:46

Wanking in work time is definitely unreasonable if you are a nanny...

valiumredhead · 19/06/2013 21:46

Just to add, my employers expected me to provide the same sort of care as of they were at home and that would include going to the bank, occasional shopping (within reason) meeting friends etc. A good nanny will usually include a trip to the park or something child friendly to balance it out.

mrsannekins · 19/06/2013 21:47

I think that it isn't unreasonable for your nanny to go out and do things during the day that any sahm would do, certainly my DD gets dragged around with me on my non-working days when I have errands to run, BUT maybe if you aren't happy about it then you need to have a discussion with her and set some limits such as being contactable, letting you know if she has plans to go out during the day etc..

diplodocus · 19/06/2013 21:48

I hope you have your own office Mrs C!

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 19/06/2013 22:10

She was contactable - 30 minutes is reasonable. We did all survive before mobile phones.

Original poster

AliasNemo · 19/06/2013 22:40

Interesting spread of opinion. As it turns out they had gone for a long walk to make the most of the weather, which is great and exactly what I would have done.
I agree, btw, that small errands are fine and in fact have encouraged our nanny to sort them out during work time. I would however expect to be informed before longer errands were undertaken (prob 2 hours plus or involving longer trips into town).

I do find it odd how some nannies on here seem to think they run under some specially laxer rules. I work when shops are open but if I went Christmas-shopping during the working day I would get a very serious reprimand (or worse). And if I do need to go to a meeting outside the office I let my boss know- not to ask permission as such but so that he knows what i am up to. FairPlay standard- and I am quite senior in my role. Why is it odd or lacking in trust to expect my nanny to behave in the same way as I and my direct reports do?

OP posts:

OutragedFromLeeds · 19/06/2013 22:53

' As it turns out they had gone for a long walk to make the most of the weather, which is great and exactly what I would have done.'

So you jumped to the wrong conclusion? Why do you have such a negative view of your nanny?

'I would however expect to be informed before longer errands were undertaken (prob 2 hours plus or involving longer trips into town)'

Have you told the nanny this or are you expecting nanny/mind reader?

'Why is it odd or lacking in trust to expect my nanny to behave in the same way as I and my direct reports do?'

I don't think anyone has said that. It is odd and lacking in trust to come home early and worry that they're not there, to worry because you can't get in touch for half an hour, to worry that you don't know who they're with and to immediately jump to the conclusion that she must be doing her own errands.

If my boss came home early, we weren't there, not contactable she would think we were at the park/on a walk/on a playdate because she trusts me. If she assumed the worst I wouldn't want to work for her.

reggiebean · 19/06/2013 22:58

'I do find it odd how some nannies on here seem to think they run under some specially laxer rules. I work when shops are open but if I went Christmas-shopping during the working day I would get a very serious reprimand (or worse).'

Part of the reason I loved being a nanny is the flexibility it offered me. Part of the reason the mum liked having me around is because she could trust me and was comfortable with what I was doing with her child in my care.

Clearly, you have different expectations for your nanny, than I had when I worked as one, but that's no need to insult my work ethic.

Original poster

AliasNemo · 19/06/2013 23:29

I think saying "insulting" is unnecessarily strong. Nobody insulted your work ethic, we just have different expectations of what is acceptable, that's all.

As for worrying, I do worry all the time. It is in my nature. I worry if DH says he is on his way home and is delayed. I worry if I do not hear from family members after a trip. Etc.

On getting home and finding no signs of nanny and DS I worried gor the safety of them both. It is just me. I was not worried about nanny having endangered DS (though I appreciate I had not made this clear.

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2013 23:40

She went for a walk - fine - but in your 1st post you said after 30mins you got hold of her and she said she would be 2hrs

Bloody long walk!!!!

Sounds fishy to me but that's my opinion

It's totally different working in an office and being a nanny

As long as child is safe and needs met and looked after then why shouldn't they go out and do errands - we are still doing our jobs

Where if you weren't in the office you couldn't do yours easily

we don't get lunch hours and often work a 10-12 hr day and my bank for example isn't open at weekends so have to take dc there if need stuff done

BadSkiingMum · 20/06/2013 07:41

Regarding the argument about working long hours therefore needing to run errands in work time:

I have heard that shops now open on Saturdays. ;)

The only errand I can think of that can't be done on a Saturday, and for which a nanny should be allowed time off, is a medical appointment. Other appointments (solicitor, house hunting, interviews) should be covered by time off in lieu or by annual leave.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2013 11:16

A nanny or cm is taking the place of the mum while they are at work - doing things what normal mums would do - ie shopping for food - getting petrol - going to bank etc

Going clothes shopping is different

Obviously as an employer you are quite in your rights to say no to errands but many nannies may not want to work for you

This morning I went to the post office with my charge to obv send parcels and letters - took prob 15 mins then went to the park

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